My 'yesterday' started with a 7AM gym appointment. My heart just wasn't in it as I have still been grieved with the horrendous news of the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I did not know him personally, but I have heard him and seen the good works he has been doing. My heart is broken for his wife and young children. I did manage to work through the exercises, but even Morgan wasn't really in to exercise as she was dealing with her own emotions about it.
My boss and I chatted about it again yesterday morning once I got online. She and her husband knew Charlie Kirk so it has made this somewhat 'personal' for them. We both wonder what God is up to with this. Yes, God allowed it, for what reason we do not know. But I have heard stories of people turning their hearts to Jesus because of what Charlie Kirk shared. His message was always Jesus first, then family, then everything else. I still can't believe it happened. I saw this morning that the young man was recognized and turned in by his father. I wish we had answers, but even then, the answers won't bring back Charlie Kirk. One thing we all can agree on, if you are a Christian, Charlie Kirk is with Jesus now.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV): The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
That scripture is more real now than it has been in a long time. I remember reading and quoting that scripture when my mama passed away 21 years ago. And I remember reading and quoting that scripture when my sister passed a few years ago. God is near those whose hearts are broken. And that includes whether it is from death of someone you cared about, the sickness of which you cannot find a cure, the pain of a child and you want to help - but can't..... there are many things that can cause a heart to be broken. We frequently read that when an older person dies and shortly thereafter the spouse dies, oftentimes the comment is that they also died of a broken heart.
But God is near to us always, not just when things are going good and we feel His blessings. God is near to us when our hearts are grieving and pained, and basically, are broken. We 'lose' someone we love so dearly.... and the pain sometimes seems more than we can bear. But God. He is our refuge and our strength - and no matter what it is that we are going through, He is there to walk through that journey with us.
I'm not saying it right, but there is a comment made like 'God will never lead you to the fire and leave you, He will take your hand and walk with you through the fire and take you to the other side.' Never give up on God. He is our only source of Strength. Praise God.
After my training yesterday, continuing on why I forgot to write, I came home and immediately jumped on the computer for work. I am covering for someone who has taken time off for her father's funeral. That means I have more work, and I had several emails from people who had received her out of office and to contact me - and they were hard requests for meetings to find time for. Plus my own people. I did think a time or two yesterday morning that I needed to jump online and say something, but then another thing got my attention. My chiropractor called me about 10:15..... I had a 10AM appointment that I totally forgot about. Yeah, I was that busy yesterday. We rescheduled to October because next week I take on another colleague's people because she is going on vacation. The one I'm currently covering for won't be back until Wednesday next week.
I did, however, get the brownies made for the Riders dinner tonight at the VFW. I'm happy to do that. I cannot cut a straight line so they are in many sizes. LOL I'm planning on taking off about 15 minutes early from work so that I can make sure I am at the VFW a little earlier to get the brownies there in time. My favorite boss is taking off about 3PM so she won't be the 'problem'. I will just let everyone else know that I need to take off a little early and if they send me a meeting, I'll check on it when I get back home - except there really is nothing I can do about it until Monday morning. So glad today is Friday. It has been a very busy week!
Other things taking my thoughts this week have been my oldest son was in the hospital for a little while. He is doing 'as well as can be expected' and is back home. Praise God for answered prayers. And hubby. He really had me scared earlier in the week. He has complained off and on for a few months about a pain at his waistline in the back. Monday it was so bad he could hardly walk, so I told him to call Dr. Mark - he did and was told to come immediately down to the office. Dr Mark examined him and gave him his thoughts... long story short, an obstruction in the intestine and he had been running the bathroom frequently ever since he followed his instructions. But herein is where I have confusion... he still has some pain, he says an ache, on the inside. I am so serious, Wednesday I wasn't sure he was going to make it through the day. He had dark circles under his eyes and he was so weak he couldn't get out of his chair. He finally managed it, but it takes (and still does now) several efforts to pull himself up. And his legs are strong! He was walking more bent over than usual. I wasn't sure what was going on. Dr. Mark did call him yesterday afternoon and told him to discontinue one medicine he had told him to take, and to come back in today as he wants to do yet another blood test. They took two vials the other day for other tests, now he wants to test for something else since hubby has not improved 100%. And that is where we stand at this time.
So much going on this week and I just want to run away and spend an entire day alone with God and let Him tell me everything is going to be ok. I want to give Him my undivided attention. I love my mornings when I have no need to watch the clock, but can just sit and be still and wait on Him. I miss the times when I cannot. If you know Jesus as Lord, then you understand exactly what I am talking about. There is just something about sitting and being still in His presence, and letting Him bring hope and healing to your heart and soul.
It's been a rough month, I think, with all its goings on... but I am trusting in the One who loves me most. Are you?
Blessings!
