Yesterday for work was another busy day - so much so that by 3PM I just sat there. My mind was on overload and it just would not think any more. I was watching the clock by 3:50PM and at 4PM I shut that baby off. I was tired, and my mind was weary I had a lot of things going through my mind yesterday, and some I will need to make a decision on today for sure.
For one - remember I shared yesterday what woke me up at 3AM and the thoughts running through my mind? Maybe I didn't say it was this specifically, I don't remember, but it was about new tires for hubby's car. (Those comments may have been in the erase erase area). Anyway, when I came out of my quiet time yesterday, hubby asked me his usual question, "How did you sleep last night?" I hesitated and told him he really didn't want to hear, but he assured me that he did. So I told him. And you will be surprised to hear that he sat down and listened. He really did. What did I tell him?
I told him that the tires he had chosen were too expensive and he did not need those on his car. I understood he needed tires, and I'm all for purchasing new tires for his car. But he doesn't need 'top of the line' (or even 'second from the top') because in another year he may not be driving. I paused, letting that sink in. And I told him, At some point, he is going to have to realize that he cannot drive anymore. He is going to have to let me or someone else take him where he needs to go. He can still drive places now, yes, (Bible study, doctor appointments), but we will not be going on any long trips anymore and driving. Neither of us. And I commented that if I was still working in Mesa, or even having to drive downtown on a daily basis, I would be seriously pushing for 'retirement' and finding a job closer to town as I don't like driving with the crazy drivers who are always in a hurry out there as well. I suggested that at most, within two years, he will have to relinquish the keys to his car and I will need to drive him where he needs to go. And, I don't think these expensive tires are needed; he needs good tires, yes, but not expensive ones. I suggested a couple other places he could check prices.
He received what I was saying to him. He called the dealership and cancelled his tire placement. He had a trainer appointment in the morning and after that he drove to a couple other places to get more estimates and came back home with one that was $300 less. That was more in line with what I had been thinking. We discussed it, and he called and scheduled the placement on Wednesday. I'm more comfortable with this new price, with still a good tire, a warranty, and all that he wants.... and saving some money. And yes, I am making him pay for the tires out of the joint account (pays me for my credit card being used). That is the only way I can rein in any expenses he does. He didn't reimburse me with his hearing aids nor his tooth surgery.... and I just kept quiet and paid it. Those were more necessary. He was supposed to pay them, but he 'forgot' I guess. Oh well.
The women's luncheon I am to speak of is coming up quickly (this Saturday) and yesterday I started flip-flopping on if I wanted to go. It's really too late to back out now, I'm afraid. I would like to see my friend (this is the one I have been covering for the past six weeks at work) and also another close friend I haven't seen in a long while is going. I do need to get with other women and it will be good for me. And you know I love to talk, and I've been asked to talk to these women. I'm beginning to get the thoughts of 'what could I say that could make a difference'.... hubby says I still need to go.... and I probably will. If I haven't emailed my friend and backed out by this afternoon, I feel I need to go. (Sorry son, I read your blog first... would love to have lunch... but I have committed to this first and the only reason I'm flip flopping is the distance to Gilbert).
Which reminds me, son..... I read somewhere that Sweet Tomatoes was starting to come back. I just did a location check on google.... only one is showing - in Tucson. I wonder if it is really there. Might be something to check out on your next trip down.
Psalm 130:5-6 (NKJV): I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His Word I do hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning - yes, more than those who watch for the morning.
Sometimes waiting on God is hard, you think? We ask Him to do something for us...... and He generally will cause us to wait. Why is that? Why can't our God, who is our loving heavenly Father who loves us beyond measure, not give us immediately what we want and ask for? Oh, He can, if He chose too, believe me! But, I have learned over the years that sometimes what we ask for, isn't really what we want. It may be just a thought. It may be just a desire. It may be something we want. It may be something we really need. But over the years, I have learned one thing.
When God waits to answer, His answer is always best. Even if the answer is NO. That one hurts. Sometimes a lot. I don't like His 'NO' answers. I've mentioned several of His 'NO' answers before. I'm always asking God for something. As we should. And most times, I do not hear His response. I want Him to verbally tell me yes or no, whether such and such can happen - or not. But many times I am left with silence. Why? Because I get in too big of a hurry and have piled my plate of busyness so full that I don't take the time to just sit and listen.
I have a vivid memory of being up at the hermitage in Black Canyon City, sitting in the chapel. I'm sure I have written of it before. On one side of this round chapel was all windows that looked over the valley. The chapel is at the top of this 'mountain'. I loved to go in and just sit. They had about 8 chairs set in a semi-circle facing the windows, so that one could look out the windows and pray over the valley. One time I was there and Sister Therese came in. She managed all the hermitages. There was no talking, no radios or TV, just silence and listening. Sister Therese came in and sat down near me. We were the only ones in the chapel. I paused in my silent prayers to observe her. It was awesome to watch. Her eyes remained open and she gave a deep sigh. I continued to watch as the Peace of God settled upon her and she was wrapped in Him. I couldn't leave. I didn't want to. I was in a Holy place. And God was there.
She probably sat there maybe ten minutes, before she turned to me, smiled, and got up to leave. I left shortly afterwards and went back to my hermitage in total awe of what I had experienced. THAT is what I want. To sit in silence and wait for the Lord, and allow His arms of love to encircle me, hold me, and love on me, as only He can.
I want that for you as well, for there is nothing like it. Hmmm. Perhaps God has just given me what I should speak to the ladies about this weekend. Waiting on God, and what that means. Confirmation I should still go? Perhaps. It will be good for me to share what God has done in my life.
Take some time to just sit and turn your eyes to Jesus, for He is the author and perfector of your faith. Let Him encircle you with His arms of love, and peace, and rest.
Blessings!
