We did go to my daughter's for lunch yesterday. When we got there, they had a movie set up to watch that their church shared bits of during 'at the movies' month. The title of the movie is Bridge of Spies and it isn't one that I would normally watch. BUT. I was focused on this movie (although I was crocheting throughout the movie!) because it kept my attention. The movie itself was inspired by a true story. It is even a movie my boys would enjoy, I think! It's set during the 'cold war' and at some times it gets 'intense' for me... but I would watch it again.
We ate while we watched the movie, so once it was over, my daughter and I headed to the pool while the guys stayed inside and watched baseball. Grateful they both stayed in as that gave my daughter and I about an hour to just relax and talk with no interruptions. I was able to share things that have been on my heart lately with my siblings and the pain I felt at my loss. She was there, so she saw a lot as well. I think she was surprised at the things that happened. It just affected me more than it did her. After about an hour we went back in and watched the last two innings of the baseball game with the guys before hubby and I packed up and came home. We left our TV off and it was a nice quiet couple hours before we headed to bed. I was relaxed for the first time in awhile and slept well last night, I think. I desperately needed to let go of the pain I was carrying aorund, and being able to share it with someone who understood was a great help.
Sometimes people carry around pain inside that they have no one who will listen to them; no one who will understand what is going on; no one who really cares. We all should be aware of those people; they let you know by various words or by doing things... but if you are not alert to those, you miss the opportunity to be a friend to them. I was able to write an email to a friend whom I know loves and cares for me. I had thought about it for a few days, and yesterday morning I finally sat down and wrote a note and shared what had happened with my sister's death, and all that had happened since then. I know he 'listened' as he read and he knows my heart. He responded quickly and his words encouraged me. He wasn't necessarily 'taking my side'.... he was opening my eyes to the situation before me and that "it is ok not to be ok with that situation". I felt loved and encouraged - and with many tears as I read his note - I felt so much better. That is a friend who loves.
Today I'm back to work (ugh) and want to begin a new exercise routine. As you know, my biggest drawback is hubby watching my every move and wanting to 'help' me do it right. I need to get over that; accept his comments, and move on. I know I need to exercise and get my bones strong again. I don't want to be one of these old women whose bones are so brittle that just bumping into things could cause a break. I want to be strong and healthy until the day I die. And, by the grace of God, I shall be. BUT, I also need to do my part and eat better, and exercise. The big E word. It's not that I don't enjoy it, I do. And I always feel better when I do SOMEthing. And I need to do it for ME.
Even just walking helps.... and as I told hubby several weeks ago.... on a treadmill you can hold on to the side to help with balance. He mentioned last night that as we talked about exercise... he is afraid of losing his balance and falling. He doesn't want to limit himself to the treadmill as his shoulders have shrunk with not exercising them in a few years. To me, I see a noticeable difference. And I think he would be ok if he used light weights (and suggested he could use those weights I have here at home) if he sat on the weight bench and did the weights. He could do it. I've seen men and women in wheel chairs exercising and building up their shoulders and their muscles. He needs to 'get over himself' and realize he can never be in as good of shape as he was 40-50 years ago when he worked out with heavy weights daily. And he doens't need to work out with those weights any more. He just needs to eat healthy and exercise some way! (and no, I am NOT going to throw away the peanut M&M's I have hidden in my desk drawer that I have been sneaking into... and I'm not sharing, although it is the 'share pak'.) I'll eat healthy.... those are just my reward treats. Right. :-)
I Timothy 4:8 (NKJV): "For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come."
I may be taking that scripture out of context some... but the point I want to make is that although I talk about exercising my body and getting it healthy and in shape, what is more important than that, is exercising my mind and my heart and making them healthy and in shape for what God has for me to do. I won't get into heaven just because I have a healthy body... but what will get me in to heaven is a mind that is godly and a heart that seeks after Jesus. Yes, if we seek after Jesus FIRST, and do our best to live only for Him, we can - and will - make it in to heaven. It doesn't matter what my body looks like.
But I also want to honor this body, this temple, that the Holy Spirit lives in, and make it presentable to Him. True, peanut M&M's do not make it healthy. I falter on that. But my goal is to be healthy and to be strong. It's taken me long enough to realize that if I don't start NOW, I will continue to put it off. I have to get my focus off what other people think, and focus upon my goal of healthy living and eating and exxercise. It may not do anything for anyone else, but it sure does for me!
So how is your body doing? I'll give you a challenge... for 21 days, intentionally find something that will get you moving. If you don't have access to a treadmill (cause it's too hot to be outside!), grab a couple cans and just start working on your muscles. Lift them; regain strength you had in your youth that you perhaps haven't realized you have lost. Strengthen those leg muscles by doing squarts or lunges (me talking to the choir here) so that when you walk, you have no fear of losing your balance and your legs will be strengthened. Take care of your body... as we have let our bodies go... we will regret it later as we age and we cannot do things we used to do. I refuse to force hubby or my children to take care of me because I was too lazy to keep my body healthy and strong to take care of myself. Stubbornness? Perhaps. But I see it a lot out here. Old people bound to a wheelchair because they didn't keep their muscles strong enough to carry their bodies as they aged. Nothing wrong with them... they just don't have the strength to walk anymore. I saw it with my older sister, laying in her bed day after day... losing every bit of strength she had in her legs to hold her up. I don't want that to be me. Jesus, please help me stay strong! Your choice - but I've issued a challenge. DO SOMETHING FOR YOU TO REMAIN STRONG.
Keeping fit for my good... what about you?
Blessings!
