We went to bed at our usual time last night and I was awake about every 3 hours. What's up with that? I would start to toss and turn, trying to get back to sleep, and finally would. At the 3AM wake up I really couldn't get back to sleep so about 3:30-ish I came in here and tried to sleep in my chair. I am sure I did doze off, but it sure doesn't feel like it. Do I have something on my mind? Other that laying there praising God and praying over my family.... what is going on in my mind that I can't sleep all through the night any more? Maybe I need to just sit down before I go to bed and ask God, ya think?
I was tired when I got off work yesterday so threw a pizza in the oven. It's the last one I had in the freezer so I (will try) will not buy anymore (at least for awhile). I just feel so fat and I know it is from all that junk food that I fix for us to eat. What's that saying we used to say as kids? Fatty Fatty Two by Four, Can't get through the kitchen door! Oh my - is that not a saying from my past!! It's how I feel this morning though; it's how I felt last night. Yes I did walk a little on my treadmill yesterday and am trying to figure out how I can possibly take a break (like I'm supposed to) and do 10 minutes on the treadmill twice a day. Of course there is the lunch hour too, but I don't take those either, as a rule. Yeah, I think I need to start taking care of myself and quit giving all of me to the job. Right?
I didn't have training last night, nor do I have it tonight. This week I have it Wednesday and Thursday. I did try to use my weights yesterday and I just felt so weak. Seriously. I used to be able to use my 10 pound weights easily. I was moving up. But my trainer doesn't work my arms every week. The first night is always legs (guess she sees how big my thighs and hips are and are working on those) and the second night she alternates different exercises. Every other week is core, which is ok. But then one week we will do back; then core the next week, then chest, then core, then triceps, then core, then biceps... at least I'm figuring out that is what she does. It's been awhile since we have done bicep curls. Not that I need or want big biceps. I need to do more myself on my own. And I'm lazy. And I can find every excuse in the book not to go workout on my own. Which is why I have some equipment here at home. I just need to get up off my lazy butt and use it. Maybe cut my time in here down by 30 minutes and go get on it? I dunno... I'm usually typing until nearly 7AM and then it's time for work - right?
2 Peter 1:5-8 (NIV) For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.
How many times have you taken a past sin, one that you have already asked God for forgiveness for, and you beat yourself up about it again and again? I know I do it. And I know that the very first time I confessed it, I was completely forgiven and God forgot it. His Word says it is forgiven as far as the east is from the west and remembered no more. And yet, when something triggers one of our thoughts of a sin of our past, we beat ourselves up - and again find ourselves asking for forgiveness.
I have news for you. That is not Jesus bringing up your past, for He has already forgiven you. It is the devil bringing up your past to make you feel guilt again. Satan doesn't want you to have a right relationship with God. He wants to do everything he can - and will do everything he can, to tear down any hope of forgiveness. The devil will tell you that your sin is too great, that God can't forgive that. I have news for you if you believe that. No matter what your sin was.... once you have asked sincerely for forgiveness, God forgives you, and remembers it no more.
Yesterday I had a battle with the devil myself over things of the past that he kept bringing to my mind. I knew (and I know) that I am forgiven of my past. Did I ask forgiveness again? Yeah, I did. But I already knew that I was forgiven. And then the devil and I had a talk and I told him where to go. I told him to leave me alone that I was a child of God and he wasn't invited to be on that walk with me! So there! That ole devil is not a nice person. You may think he is when he draws you in to sin, but he doesn't care anything about you. And he laughs at you when you get dragged into his schemes. His time is coming though - he knows where he will end up. He wants to do his damage before God throws him into the abyss forever and ever, into the pit of fire.
John 3:16 (NIV): For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.
Tell the devil where to go. Confess to Jesus and live a life of following Him. You will never regret it.
Blessings!
