My oral surgeon visit is this morning and I don't want to go. I'm not ready mentally for someone to poke around in my mouth, take even more x-rays, and then give me their thoughts on how to fix this. Removing the roots is inevitable. But what to do with the space? An implant (dread my part of that cost)? Sometimes the jaw bone has to be built up before an implant can be done. My brother, who has several implants, and lost two to bone loss, said his wife just had surgery on her jaw to build up the bone to get a tooth implant. At least it isn't UNcommon, but I still don't want to deal with it.
It is more difficult since my diagnosis of osteopenia and having to take Fosamax. I went ahead and took my pill this morning, since it is Wednesday and I take it every Wednesday. I dont' know exactly how it is affecting my body, let alone my bones. I still can't get over one of the side effects of it - 'one's thigh can break without explanation as to why'. Say what? Yeah, the article read one could be walking across the street and their thigh can break without trauma to it. I'm praying I will be one of the ones that it doesn't happen to.
I'm discovering all the things I always thought old people had to go through.... I'm starting to go through them. And you know what? I don't like it. Yes, I know I am older. At 72 I'm right there. But I don't want to go through the things, the sicknesses, the discomforts, that older people go through. I don't want to take a bunch of pills and then all the side effects of the pills interact with each other and get sick. I don't know how many more years God will leave me here on earth, but I don't want them to be sick ones. I'm not liking all this medical stuff I'm having to deal with.
Just had a thought. When I started with my new medical doctor, the papers I filled out asked for information about my parents as well as my grandparents. Medical information. I did some research and asking questions to find out about my grandparents, and looked at my mother's death certificate of which I have a copy, to get all her ailments. It also wanted my siblings medical issues. Some gave me info, some only shared what they wanted me to know. Anyway, I'm thinking I ought to take the information I have and type it out, and send to each of my children so that they know some of the medical history in the family. On my side, anyway. They know about the diabetes, but do they know of anything else?
I didn't mean for this post to be about my medical stuff, but here it is. I guess because it is on my mind this week. First and foremost, I need to start taking better care of myself so that I don't have these medical visits because of sickness or anything else, but just 'well' visits. At least my medical doctor is for well visits. Get past this broken tooth, which I couldn't control, and then maybe my life will calm down.
But even with all this medical stuff going on..... I wonder how God is going to use me to help others. Am I going through this so that I can understand what others go through? I've always been healthy, thank You Lord. Nothing serious has gone on with me. But some of those close to me have. Recently a friend lost her mother. My heart breaks for her for I know what she is going through. Another close friend is going through chemo with breast cancer. I touched base yesterday and she is having a rough time right now. My heart breaks for her, and although I can't say I feel what she is going through, I've seen what chemo did to my daughter. Her brother is waiting for a liver transplant, although he has never had a drink in his life. She's already lost one brother to liver disease. What is it that I need to learn from all this? What is it that God wants me to do to help others through these times?
I wish I could do more than just send a card or text - but with working I am limited. Yes, I could throw a tantrum and say I'm going to quit work, but I would not be able to do anything. Not going to elaborate on that comment. Working at least gives me focus and allows me to be in contact with other people. And I can pray for them. Sometimes I have had people contact me to pray for them or for one of their loved ones, and I barely know them. But they heard that I pray, and they ask me to pray for what is going on. That always amazes me, especially when I don't know them well. Perhaps that is what I am to do - pray. And sometimes that is enough.
I am grateful, above all, that I have Jesus to run to whenever I'm troubled, whenever I'm sick, whenever I just need someone. Sometimes just sitting and being still in His Presence, is all I need to get through the day. He hears me, He knows my name. He knows every care upon my heart.
And He knows your name, your cares, your questions, your struggles, your hope. Jesus said that He would never leave us nor forsake us. I'm depending on that to get through each day. Are you?
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged."
