Bethel Music has a song out called 'Goodness of God' and that song was running through my head this morning.... 'All my life You have been faithful; All my life You have been good, so good! With every breath that I am able, I will sing of the goodness of God!' For some reason, I also was thinking of Brandon Lakes' Gratitude song. 'So I throw up my hands, and praise You again and again...cause all I have is a Hallelujah, Hallelujah.... I know it's not much, But I've nothing else fit for a King, except for a heart singing Hallelujah, Hallelujah...' If you haven't heard either of those songs, I'd suggest you google them and listen. Such great songs!
Ok - now these songs are both running through my head - still! How can we not praise God and sing Hallelujah to Him because of who He is? I hope I never lose my desire to praise Him.
Today is Monday and I'm back to work after working only two days this past ten days. Is this what retirement would be like? Well, not what I'd want retirement to be, but it was nice to 'take a break' and not have anything on the agenda. Yep, another day of doing nothing. We watched church on You Tube at 10:30a instead of physically going. Hubby and I had different thoughts on it; the message that is. (my legs were getting better, but still felt weird, from the intense pain earlier in the night).
The message was on 'Lukewarm'. You know where I'm going with this, right? It was on Revelation 3:14-17 where Jesus was telling the church of Laodicea that it was 'lukewarm' and He was ready to spit them out of His mouth! Pastor John talked about coffee, how some people like it hot, some like it iced, but does anyone like their coffee 'lukewarm'? I usually end up drinking my coffee lukewarm - and even cold because I don't drink it that fast. Except the iced coffee. It's too good to NOT drink right away. Anyway, Pastor John explained where Laodicea was and what cities were on either side of it, giving a few Greek words, as he always does, and their meanings. A very good message that has really touched some spots in me. I know in some places I have become lukewarm. You probably have as well. I don't get out and serve like Jesus did. I don't do a lot of things that I should be doing. I suspect the most I do is share words in here that may sometimes come to life for you.
Well, yes, I preach to the RV parks during November - March, but what do I do the rest of the time? As much as I long to do things at churches, I often feel held back. Where we are now, they don't really know me yet, and that's ok. I don't want to promote myself, and feel that in God's timing, He will do the promoting. In fact, I think I have mentioned that a friend told the prayer coordinator at church that I needed to be on the prayer team - and she had never heard me pray, but someone I had prayed for had told her about it. Not that I pray well, in my opinion, and that has to go with I am so afraid of becoming proud. Long story and I have probably shared it before so won't go into it now. If I'm asked to pray, I do, but I don't push to be the 'one' praying. If you know what I mean. I've shared how I want to go deeper in my prayer life. And to do that, I need to apply myself. So it's all on me if I don't. I love to talk to Jesus, and do often throughout the day, but I don't always share with someone I am praying for them, or specifically what I am praying for. There are some people from church I have been asked to pray for, and I do get all the texts on the current prayer requests. I admit, it is hard to pray for someone I don't know, and especially when I don't know the particulars. All I can do is bring their name before Jesus and ask Him to intervene in their sickness, in their particular requests. I was told that 'we' would be 'trained' to pray for others at the altar after our service in October, when the prayer coordinator and her husband get back from their 3 months in Colorado to escape our heat. That should be interesting, you think? This woman has met me twice; has never heard either of us pray. Anyway, I think it is interesting.
But back to the lukewarm message.... I feel at times I am a 'lukewarm' Christian. Just being honest, and that feeling comes because I am not teaching, not leading, not involved in things going on at church. Does that make sense? We are not called to be LUKEWARM, but to be on fire for Jesus! How can I change this? Hubby often reminds me (and others) of his two bible studies with the men. He tells me often what he feels God is leading him to do - and I support that! It's a good thing. But in my mind, talking about it, and doing it, are two different things. Just because you do it 'occasionally' doesn't mean you are in your calling. Does that make sense? I'm not dissing him. I'm not criticizing him. I support him in what he feels God is calling him to do. I just don't understand his thinking about it. And I do leave him alone about it.
Pastor John also talked about getting an accountability partner. That has been a place I haven't been able to get to. I know hubby always talks about his accountability partner, and I'm happy for him. But I have never had someone to speak truth to me, that I could share my innermost thoughts with and receive feedback. Lord only knows what things I could have been told over the years! Seriously! I've been a mess at times, as you know. So very well know. I'm still not where I want to be. I struggle with feeling I am 'held back' and not involved. I don't have time to go into all that today. But there is so much I have longed to do for Jesus, to share about Him, and the opportunities, other than preaching at the RV parks, has never come about. So then I begin to doubt myself.... and wonder what God has - or has not - called me to. I have purchased John Bevere's book 'Called', but I haven't started on it yet. Am I afraid to? Perhaps.
Anyway- moving on.... just sharing my thoughts for the moment.... and running out of time, as usual.
My oven controls should be reinstalled today. Hubby confirmed last week - and they said between 8-12 today. It was 8-6p. Will see. Hubby has training this morning; I have training this afternoon. And of course now it is too hot to bake. But I bet I find something to bake by the weekend! I've learned to use my air fryer or electric skillet a lot these past two months. Oh, and the microwave even more. We definitely have not lost any weight by NOT having the oven or stove! Just a minor inconvenience, for sure.
The Lord gives us beauty for ashes. He brings joy to the brokenhearted. Trust Him, lean into Jesus, no matter what you are going through, good or bad. He is always with you. He is always for you.
Amen and Amen.
Blessings!
