They were found...but....

 After church yesterday I called Michaels to ask about my clip on sunglasses.  No, they didn't have anything.  I called Home Depot - and they had them!  So I asked hubby if he wanted to go with me to pick them up and we can pick up lunch while we were out.  He was agreeable to it.  Home Depot did have my sunglasses.... but someone or something had stepped/rolled over the one clip - and turned it sideways.  The glass part is fine, but the other will not clip on to my glasses.  Which now involves a trip to the vision place to see if they can turn that metal and get it to fit again.  If not, I will attempt it on my own (well, I did try, but it wouldn't budge and I didn't want to force it and break it) or I will see how much it costs to order another clip on.  Luckily it isn't prescription; they are just sun clips.

Normally we would be having a class tonight, but we gave them this week to get their first week's lesson completed since they didn't get their books until Wednesday night.  I did today's lesson this morning; I definitely need to keep caught up on it.  I have high hopes of 'learning' all over again how to have joy in my walk with Jesus.  In all honesty, I've allowed the stresses of the world, my disappointments in my personal life, my struggles, my battles - all of these things to block out my joy.  

Nehemiah 8:10 (NKJV):  -------The joy of the Lord is your strength.

And He truly is.  There is the song that is nothing but the words 'The Joy of the Lord is my strength, the Joy of the Lord is my strength, the Joy of the Lord is my strength, The Joy of the Lord is my strength."

And I have sung it many times.  I'm sure I have shared this before.... but when I worked for this one company, I had this one director - I don't know what her problem was even today - but she would yell at me and say things to me that were hateful.... our restroom was down the hall, so when she finished her spiel at me, I would walk down the hall and back - back and forth a few times - and I would be singing softly each way - 'The joy of the Lord is my strength."  When I had calmed down and felt His joy, I would return to my desk and continue working.  I truly believe that God took this song and made it mine, for I have sung it to myself many times in my darkest days.  (This director eventually asked me to pray for her when she, at 42, found out she was pregnant).

Me? Dark days?  Oh yes, I get those as well.  Usually because I get overwhelmed and allow others to treat me badly.  When I don't feel like I have any way out.  When I struggle.  When I'm in pain.  When I ... well, just about for any reason, that is my mantra.  Jesus is my Joy and He is my Strength.  Always has been, always will be.

What is going on in your life right now that you could use some joy?  Is it that you are struggling with finances?  Is it you and your spouse having words with each other?  Is it your child(ren) are out of control and you don't know what to do with them?  (No, hanging them up to dry is not an option, although entertaining) What about that job that you have to deal with day in and day out five days a week?  Some days - if you are like me - you would really like to walk away.  But you can't.  You are bound to your job and no matter what it is - whether housekeeping, baby sitting, working in an office, working remote, doing anything - some days it just sucks the joy out of you.  And yet, when you can do it, you can also feel joy.  

For example, I like my job.  I love my (one) boss, I like the others.  I do what I have to do - many times begrudgingly.  I don't like to be forced to learn new things without explanation.  I don't like getting dumped on.  But I am paid very well for what I do - and I get to sit at home to do it.  No one monitors my time.  No one tracks me.  I'm salaried, so I don't have to punch a timeclock.  (which reminds me, it's timecard Monday - that will take me ten minutes - maybe) I can take time off as needed.  I have PTO built up and can take vacation days.  It's a great job.  So why do I entertain thoughts of leaving it?  Because I have so many other things I'd like to do.  Such as getting back to my sewing.  Doing more crochet or knitting.  Doing more baking.  Volunteering at church; hospitals; nursing homes.  I.want.to.live.life.to.the.fullest.

Just erased a large paragraph.... you know, some of those things that don't need to be said out in the open. I should probably erase a lot more.

Hubby asked me the other day what did I want to do for our anniversary this year.  He usually saves up the money and finds us an airbnb for 4-5 days up north and we go there.  But I have already thought about it - and I don't want to go anywhere.  So when he asked, I told him.  He complained some, for the place we had last year up at Bison Ranch was so nice.  BUT... we were at least 30 minutes away from any grocery store or anything else.  It was quiet.  We had a nice brook running through the property.  Hummingbirds were all over the place.  Hated the dim lighting inside the cabin, but other than that - it was all good.   But I want to stay home.  The thought that entertained my mind last week before he even asked - was that I wanted to stay home and pretend I was retired for a week.  What would that look like.  Probably just like a weekend at home.  At least here at home everything is here.  We can go out to nearby restaurants if we want to.  I can cook (I have to cook all the meals when we are isolated as we were last year) the meals. I think he is going to go along with my request to just stay home.  We'd save money for sure.  And, getting older, we need to save a bit more.  Unexpected expenses happen, and life as we get older is getting more and more expensive.  

And I sing a lot more frequently, "The joy of the Lord is my strength".  Maybe you should try it as well.  If you don't know the tune... make it your own.  The words are simple. 

And when you sing it, believe it.  He is truly your strength. No matter what the circumstances.

Blessings!

Don't follow me....I'm lost....

 We watched a movie last night on Netflix called 'Holiday in the Wild'.  It was a good movie, staring Rob Lowe. It was a romance movie.  It starts out that the only child, a son, is heading off to college.  Once he leaves the apartment, the wife turns to the husband and commented something about the 'empty nest' .  She suggests they do a 'second honeymoon' and she had made reservations in Africa for them.  To which the husband responds by walking over to the side, picks up a briefcase and a suitcase and tells his wife he no longer loves her - and is leaving her.  And walks out.

The wife goes on to Africa and is doing a safari when they discover a baby elephant whose mother had been killed for her tusks.  The baby was dehydrated.   Come to find out, the wife was a veterinarian but hadn't practiced in years.  She fell in love with this baby elephant and... I won't spoil the story in case you want to watch it.  

But there was this one part in which she went back to New York and sitting over dinner with her estranged husband, having a nice conversation, he notices that she seems totally different.  She was happy, and was sharing all about what she had been doing.  He smiled, and asked her if she met someone while in Africa.

She responded, "yes, I met me."  

I laid in bed for a long time last night thinking about that statement.  She had found herself - by being herself.  She found her passion, her joy, once again.

I won't tell you the rest of the story, but it is a nice story and we both enjoyed watching it.

Sometimes I wonder, like the woman in this movie, if I will ever meet 'me'.  Will passion within me for something I believe in raise its head and breathe fresh life into me?  Or is this all there is?  Day in, and day out, same o same o.

Do you ever feel like you are in a routine?  Get up, turn on the computer, work, turn off the computer, have dinner, watch TV, go to bed..... and tomorrow do the same thing?  Rarely is anything changed in it? Has the passion you had once within you to conquer the world or to make a differencein someone's life, or in the world, and it just didn't happen?  Has your joy escaped you?

And yet, as I laid there last night and realized once again the heaviness upon my heart of the lack of joy and passion in my life, that it doesn't have to be that way.  This is what happens when we let life take over.  When we settle into the routine of doing nothing because it causes too much conflict when you want to do something different.  

I am reminded from the movie The War Room, one of my very favorite movies of all time, when the wife tells the devil he cannot have her house, he cannot have her family, not her husband, nor her child, nor can he have her.  That her joy does not come from the devil and from what she has, but from Jesus.  Her joy is found in Jesus.  And Jesus is Lord of that house, so get out and stay out!

Ok, I paraphrased it but the same meaning is there.  If you haven't watched that movie, please do.  It gives you a lot to think about.  I wonder if I can get hubby to watch it again tonight... if not, while he's watching football I can watch it on my prime video.  That movie encourages me, and reminds me not to give in to 'feelings' of being lost, of not knowing who I am.  Yes, I get there, just like you do.

But our joy and our passion does not come from what we have, what we own.  Our joy and passion is not based on who is in our lives, but in WHO we bow down and worship.  Jesus is the only One who can rescue us from ourselves, from our attitudes, from what we have become.

Jesus can rescue us and we will 'meet ourselves' when we give everything we own and everything we have to Him.  When we allow Him to take over our lives and change us.  When we are willing to let go, He is willing to give.  I often have to remind myself of that when I get into the 'lost' stage.  Sometimes life in general will pull you down.  Get out of the pit and look up; Jesus is waiting to help you 'meet you'.

Psalm 119:1-2 (TPT)  "You're only truly happy when you walk in total integrity, walking in the light of God's Word.  What joy overwhelms everyone who keeps the ways of God, those who seek him as their heart's passion!

Psalm 104:25 (TPT)  ...................But I will keep on praising you my Lord, with all that is within me.  My joyous blissful shouts of Hallelujah are all because of you!

Our joy comes only from Jesus.  Have you met yourself yet?  Have you met Jesus?

Blessings!