Labor Day has come and gone and now it's back to work. Today I now have 3 bosses and I know my workload will increase tremendously. It's just work, and I will continue to do it the best that I can. I have been struggling lately with extreme exhaustion, and do not know the reason. But, this too shall pass. I will regain my strength and I will walk in faith.
I think I have nearly finished another baby blanket this weekend; I am at 28 inches - and the minimum is 30 inches... and I keep looking at the length of the yarn that is left. It is going to be very close if I can get around it one more time. I will try tonight to get that last row around and then tie it off. Another blanket for the stack. I also worked some on the baby quilt I am making for a great-nephew. I'm about 1/2 way finished with it, I think, and will be focusing on it for the next week or so. The baby shower is in a couple weeks and I'd love to finish it and mail it off before then. I have a few more baby quilts I want to complete before Christmas.... but will take them as I get to them. I wanted to do them last year and never got them done at all. I'm not going to stress about it; will work on it as I can. It is harder to see that needle hole to thread it now and I frequently have to use a light and a magnifying glass.
I seem to be noticing the little things more and more that identify I am getting older. I seem to be losing my strength. Even with working out with light weights, I feel the strength in my arms is leaving me. I am going to try to kick up the weights a couple pounds; I need to have strength in my arms and legs. When did this happen? I think it is from this past year and a half of working from home, being stuck in front of the computer in this room, getting little exercise - although I have tried - and just not being as active as I am when I'm at work. I could say that I've been lazy, but that is only partially true. This virus has kept a lot of people from doing things they have normally done.
And, if you even look at yourself, you will see that you have become different in the past year and a half. Especially if you are working from home. You may experience, like me, a feeling of claustrophobia. Being around the same people, day in and day out. Some weeks, unless we go out for a meal, I do not get out of the house at all. It's flies we have to deal with if we sit outside in the early morning when it is somewhat cool, and mosquitos in the evening if you want to sit outside. So we don't. It's inside only. Too hot to walk the treadmill in the garage. Sheeba is way too strong for me to try walking her outside. So not only do I stay inside most of the time, I withdraw into myself a bit more.
Do you find that in yourself? You spend time thinking about what you wish you could, and still have to stay where you are. I have things to keep me busy - i.e., crochet, knit, quilt - and even read, which I try to do as much as I can. I sometimes can only get a little reading done in here. And, if the TV is on, it's now a ball game or a movie. At least I can still crochet or quilt during the movie. But I still just sit there. Hubby will probably hit me up again today to get back to the gym on my lunch hour. And I do need to go.
Next Saturday, September 11th, I signed up for two challenges. One I really don't have to do 9/11, but do need to talk with the youngest son to see if he is ready to do this walk together. If not, I may do it on my own another day. The other challenge is through my work - and it IS on 9/11... and they want us to climb 2071 steps. I know I've talked about it before so won't go into it. I am still working on how to get that task accomplished. My legs will be fried afterwards, I'm sure.
But I am grateful. I am still alive. I can still walk. I can still lift light weights. I can still do a lot of things. There are so many people who in the their minds can do things, but if they attempted them - like me - they will find they have lost that drive to push through to achieve some things.
The dreams we have had for so many years that have not come to fruition.... we like to think that we can still do them.... but life has gotten in the way for so many years. We had to work. We had responsibilities. We had to take care of this person or that person. We had to .... you can fill in the blank. But the dreams we have held on have slowly faded to where we can barely dream of them. We still have that longing in our hearts for 'what might have been'.... but the time has passed and taken away the dream.
But we can still be grateful, for we have lived. We have done things that we may have thought we couldn't. We have gone places we never thought we would. We have celebrated deaths of loved ones and the legacy they left behind. We have celebrated birthdays and sought to bless others through kindness. We have lived. And for that, be grateful.
Walk with me on the highway of praise and the prison doors that have held you back will swing wide open. Our praise is like an open portal that connects us to Jesus. Our praise opens our eyes to things around us and helps up to see more clearly from heaven's perspective, and not from our cloudy one. When we praise Jesus, life begins to bud once more inside of us. I choose to live. I choose to praise.
May your day be a blessed one. Choose graditude.
Blessings.
