And I don't really want to... I have about 100 emails the last time I looked. And I don't want to do any of them, although I know I can delete the majority. But, alas, it is what I must do; not really a choice right now. 'It is what it is' - right?
Yesterday was sorta quiet. In a way. We went to church, then stopped at Rubio's for lunch. Hubby does like their 'coastal trio' which is fish tacos (barf) The fish is cooked and I'm sure they are good, but I'm just not in to fish tacos. I had forgotten that a birthday party was happening yesterday for a grandson that I really do not know very well. Hubby didn't go, but I did, and good did come of it. While most everyone was in the pool, my youngest son and I had about an hour or so by ourselves where we could just talk about things that are going on. After that, I was getting really tired - so I came home. Hubby ate a TV dinner... since I had a piece of pizza at the party, I wasn't hungry. We had to watch a movie of course. sigh. After that movie I wanted to watch the season 3 of Chosen that I hadn't seen yet - but hubby couldn't stay awake and it was our usual time of going to bed, so stopped it at episode 2 and to bed we went. I awoke at 3AM with him snoring loudly, so got up and came in here, but could not go back to sleep. That's what happens when one isn't active... your body isn't really tired when it's time to sleep and then it refuses to go into a deep sleep and you feel like you haven't rested at all.
I'm back to work today after taking Friday off and I know of some things that are already in my in box. Sigh. Invoices to process I don't mind... but I really do not want to mess with airline tickets and hotel bills for other people. But, it's something I have to do. That in itself is enough to make me want to quit. But, having the extra money is nice, I will admit. I still say I would find another job and I am confident that I won't have any problem doing so - even at my age. I'm not too proud to be a cashier at the grocery or flipping burgers.
Today is my big brother's birthday. He is 78 today, I think. It's hard to believe he is that old - nor the fact that I will turn 74 in a few weeks. He has been my inspiriration for so many years, keeping me active. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be working out. I wouldn't be making myself do things and move my body. He is the reason I choose to exercise and walk. He has been a diabetic for over 40 years now, I think, and he has steadily worked at keeping his body healthy so that he could live a long life - and he has enjoyed life along the way. He has a very positive outlook on life and tries to see the positive in everything. I would have sunk into depression a long time ago had I not looked up to him and listened to his encouragement to be positive about life, to LIVE life, and to keep active.
Yes, I could be a lot more active, and I've been (once again) thinking about that htis morning. I am lazy; I admit it. I allow people I love to suck the life out of me with their sharp words that come back to me time and again. I give up easily and just sit. But I must change. For my own sake. I want to live life to the fullest. And although I can't do a lot right now; at some point in my life I am hoping that I will be able to. And when I can, I want to be able to enjoy what I do. Does that make sense? So many things I have longed to do over the years but kept from it. Personal reasons I won't go in to. I will say that my life is nothing like I dreamed it would be. And that is why I need my big brother. He encourages me to do things; to strive to achieve greater things. And not just sit back and let life pass me by. I am young - not old. And I need to quit acting like an old lady. After all, my brother has challenged me once again to a 10 mile walk the next time we meet up - reckon I need to start NOW and get conditioned.
My boss tells me all the time that since I am 10 years old than she is, although she knows my limitations and availability, she says that she watches to see what I do, because what I do now, she knows she can do when she is my age. She is active, and she also encourages me to keep active. Recently she took up pickleball. It would be fun to learn how to do it and play - but I know hubby would have a fit. He has a friend whose wife took up pickleball and she is gone all the time playing with her friends and her husband complains to hubby all the time. And hubby listens. You know that when he hears one negative thing about something - it becomes law. Yeah, that's why it is hard for me to live life.
2 Kings 5:3 : "She said to her mistress, "I wish that my master were with the prophet who is in Samaria! Then he would cure him of his leprosy."
We probably all know of someone who has 'leprosy' - moreso spiritual leprosy rather than the real thing. We allow it to rob us of living life. But our Father's sovereighnty is so complete, His dominion so comprehensive, and His control over even our most difficult circumstances so sure, there is really no situation in our life that is beyond His redeeming power. Not. Even. One. Somehow, even our most grim dilemnas contain the essental ingredients from which He can pull peace and hope and even a good, remarkable ending.
If you read this story in 2 Kings 5, you read of an Israelite girl who was taken captive during a raid on Israel and forced into slavery. She ended up in servanthood of an army captain's wife, and it was this army captain that had leprosy. She must have been treated well for her to even volunteer that just possibly, if the army captain could get to this prophet, he could be healed of the leprosy.
If you read the story, you read that the army captain, Naaman, did go to Samaria to see this prophet and he was told to go dip himself in the Jordan River. He rebelled at first; after all, the water was muddy. Why didn't the prophet tell him to go dip in a nice clean river? But one of his servants convinced him to do it - and what if he had stopped at one dip? Or two dips? Or three dips? ... or six dips? But he didn't - he continued to dip himself into the muddy Jordan River seven times - and when he came up out of the water on the 7th time, his leprosy was removed.
So many times we take our leprosy - whatever it may be - and we know what we must do, and we may need to do it repeatedly... but we think that after one time all should be well. It takes 21 days for a habit to form, they say. If you set your alarm repeatedly at 4AM and get up every day for three weeks, you will find your body will begin to wake up at that time every day, even without the alarm. If you choose to eat good food and consistently watch what and how much you eat, within three weeks you will begin to see the results of that new 'habit' of eating well. If you pick up your Bible to read a chapter a day, or a devotional, or just sit and talk with God every day for three weeks.... you find yourself wanting that little bit of time you devoted to Him every day thereafter.
God can take whatever we give to Him and if we obey His instructions, we will see results. We often think that if we go to church once that God will give us what we ask for. But when you turn your back on God, you may think your life is fine... but in reality, it is missing the link to survival, the link to joy, the link to fulfillment, the link to life. God doesn't cause bad things to happen. God doesn't always give you in your time frame the answers you want. But God always walks you through any thing that you go through. We are impatient people and we want what we want - NOW. But NOW isn't in God's timetable. We need to grow and mature, sometimes, before we receive what we ask for. We may think we have all that we want right now... but there is still that missing link if you don't have God.
Let me ask you this - if something dreadful should happen within your family right now.... how would you deal with it? You need Jesus to lean on and allow Him to walk you through what ever that dreadful thing is. That is the only way you can get through it. You can't get through it on your own. He's there. He's waiting for you to invite Him in. Will you? It will make all the difference in the world.
Blessings!
