I actually went to bed a little after 8PM last night cause I could, I guess. It was too late to get involved in a book, although I had read for awhile last night. I was tired, but not that tired. I had a lot on my mind, which isn't always good when I go to bed, for then I lay there and think about it. But, I didn't want to just sit and stare at the wall... so I went to bed. Hubby stayed up to read, I'm guessing. It did take a few minutes to fall asleep, and I didn't wake up until about 12:30AM... then after laying there for about half an hour, I fell back to sleep - and went in to a deep sleep. I can't remember if I felt my watch alarm go off or not... I think I did... but I also fell back to sleep and didn't wake up until hubby got up about 4:25AM... and then I felt like I was jerked out of a deep sleep. Yeah.. headache hit, but it was a deep sleep headache. Caffeine helped that. Sometimes I just don't want to get up.
And that is when I start wishing for two things.... 1) we sleep in different beds so that when he gets up he doesn't waken me, and 2) I wasn't working so that I could do my quiet time any time I wanted to...meaning, I could get up when I was ready to get up. Now mind you, sometimes I do wake up early and am more than ready to get up and spend time with Jesus. But some mornings I just want a little more sleep before I do.
It isn't quantity of time with Jesus... it is quality. And I recognize that. I love spending time with Jesus and wish many times I could take all day to read my Bible, pray, and just sit with Him. That is quality time. But there are other times I have to drag myself out of bed... come in here... and it takes me awhile to get my head wrapped around what I'm reading and how to apply it to my life. It's more of a struggle to have that quality of time when I'm either fighting to stay awake or just getting focused.
By the way... with getting up and coming into the back of the house, sitting at the desk, in a desk chair, has kept me awake.... for there are many mornings that I would have snuggled back in to the recliner and gone back to sleep; just because I could. I can't do that here, which is a good thing. I was getting way too used to taking that extra 30-60 minute 'nap' in the morning. Then feel guilty, or feel bad, because I didn't take time to really pray other than a quick prayer for everyone. Sometimes it is good to just linger in Jesus' presence and be still and just love on Him.
And, because I'm away from the enclosed bedroom/office and it being my home for 12 hours or more of the day.... this is much better that I have a separate location to spend my time with God. It's open area. Hubby can be distracting some times with his squirming in his desk chair a couple rooms over, but I'm sure I'm distracting to him as well (especially with my typing)... unless he doesn't put his hearing aids in - then, does he even hear me? :-)
I Peter 4:10 (CSB): "As each one has received a special gift; employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God."
My devotional asked this question this morning.... "How has God been tugging on your heart to serve Him in a specific way? How can you actively respond?"
As I read that, I was reminded of something I said 'yes' to this week. Actually, I don't have to 'do it' until July 22nd, when we have our next 'Ladies Crew' which is the women's group luncheon at our church. I had sent our Pastor's wife a video of 'It's a Southern Thing' about Chick fil a being closed on Sunday - it was so funny - and our pastor loves Chick fil a and often comments about it being closed on Sunday. It was perfect. So I sent it to her to show to him, and then she says..... "I was going to send you a text today and ask you.... would you be willing to give a 3 minute testimony at our next Ladies Crew meeting on July 22nd?" I hesitated, and wanted to say "I'll pray about it"... and then 'forget about it.' I don't like to share how bad I was... but I do need to share how good Jesus is and how He changed my life.
So I immediately responded back, "Yes. I'll be happy to." So since that time, my mind has been thinking of and disecting my testimony. I had one written out and had given it in our Bible Study we had done months before... and our pastor's wife was in our group and heard it. But now, I need to disect it and just share what I was before Jesus became my Lord... and Who He is and what He has done in my life since I surrendered my life to Him. In three minutes. She's limiting it as there will be 6 others who will also be sharing their testimony. I think that is too many, but I don't run the show. Now I am just praying that God will put the words together that will bring Him glory.
Stepping out in faith, that God will take my life and use it for His glory. That has been my prayer. Now He is giving me a chance to give Him glory, for He changed my life. I know what I could have become. I know who I am. I am who God says I am. I think that is why I love Lauren Daigle's song so much ... "You Say"....
"I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough / Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up / Am I more than the sum of every high and every low / Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know / ooo-oo
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing / You say I am strong when I think I am weak / And You say I am held when I am falling short / And when I don't belong Oh You say I am Yours / And I believe / Oh I believe / What You say of me / I believe
The only thing that matters now is what You think of me / In You I find my worth; in You I find my identity / ooh-oh
You say I am loved, when I can't feel a thing / You say I am strong, when I think I am weak / And You say I am held when I am falling short / And when I don't belong, Oh You say I am Yours / And I believe / Oh I believe /What You say of me / I believe
Taking all I have, and now I'm laying it at Your feet / You have every failure, God, You have every victory / Ooh oh
You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing / You say I am strong when I think I am weak / And You say I am held when I am falling short / And when I don't belong Oh You say I am Yours / And I believe / Oh I believe / Wha tYou say of me / I believe
Oh, I believe / Yes, I believe / What you say of me / I believe.
https://youtu.be/sIaT8Jl2zpI
Above is the video link address. I don't know how to post the videos but try that1 i love that song, and it is very meaningful to me. I hope you get something out of it too.
You are loved, you are valuable, you are forgiven, you are loved.
Blessings!
