My headache was all over the place yesterday and hubby and I both talked about our daughter-in-law who has severe migraines and how the weather must be affecting her. Praying for relief for her, for sure. But my headache was more of a draining on me yesterday. In spite of taking things to calm it down, it just seemed I got more and more exhausted to where I nearly fell asleep in my chair! And I wanted to fall asleep... but had so much work to do, I tried to keep plugging away.
When my work time finally ended, I started to shut down, but was waiting on one more response to an email so just closed the lid, intending to check again later. I go sit down on the couch and hubby comments...."Just think, you don't have to get up early in the morning." I look at him like he is from another world and say "what are you talking about? It's Friday, a work day, my boss is off, but I'm not." And then he asks... "Isn't the women's retreat this weekend?"
Wow. I hadn't thought about it for a few days and yes, it is this weekend, and yes, I am off work today. But I still have some pressing work to do so will jump online a bit this morning in the hopes the emails will have been responded to and I can close out the week. I did put an 'out of office' message on so any future emails they know I'm off. Totally forgot. Hubby had taken me to a Mexican restaurant we found a short distance away for lunch so neither of us was really hungry. He had a TV dinner and I fixed a sandwich - and we watched a movie. He asked if I was up to a second movie but I felt completely drained and exhausted. I read a little bit before finally putting the book down and said I had to go to bed. I slept good most of the night - hubby's snoring kept waking me up (and he talks about my snoring waking him up!) so I finally rolled out of bed at my usual 4AM. I tried to go back to sleep here, but could not. It may be a long day.
So, yes, I am off work today other than checking for messages that I was waiting for yesterday. I will need to pack this morning, but it is just overnight so don't need much. Clean underwear anyway and my jammies. And my Bible. And my computer. And my blankie to curl up in cause the hotel rooms are always chilly. I am having my daughter pick me up about 1PM and we'll do the drive over and then grab a late lunch and then check in to the hotel. Grateful my daughter is going with me to the retreat. She always makes sure I am taken care of when she is with me. Might be able to read for a bit before heading over to the church where the retreat is. I hope to finish this one book this weekend. My headache has waned some after taking Ibuprofen... but it is still centered right smack dab in the middle between my eyes. I hope to keep it at bay this weekend so that I can enjoy it.
Chatted with my three remaining siblings this week. Two by phone, one by text. My little sister has become subdued somewhat...not sure what is going on. Since I told her she needed to let go of the drama surrounding her best friend's death and the family issues, she has, but seems distant. Interesting. My little brother is nearly completely healed from a fall he had taken several weeks ago now, rescuing his aged dog from the lake waters where he had fallen. He still has some problems (my brother, not the dog), but is doing much better and the infection in his leg seems to be just about gone. My big brother is doing well on this new diabetic thing that has come out. It escapes my mind now on what it is called, but it is something placed on the body - I'm sure you have seen the commercials - and you just touch it and it sends insulin to your body or something like that. I didn't know, but he said he used to take 3-5 shots a day (I think he has been a diabetic for 45 years) and his A1c has now dropped to 115. I don't understand all the numbers but I know I watch mine when I get a blood test - always am 95-98 or 5.6 which they say is pre-diabetic.... I know it is in my family (my brothers) and a son and daughter have it as well... but I have somewhat an anxiety I would have to take shots if I 'got' it. And with hearing the side effects from pill medication from both my son and daughter - I think I would pass on that too. But for now, other than that, I think all are doing well.
"Keep reminding yourself that you live in a world that is groaning, waiting for redemption, but remind yourself also that the cross guarantees that the groaning will someday end." Journey to the Cross by Paul David Tripp.
Permit yourself to groan; you have valid reasons to do so. Give yourself to seasons of groaning; it is spiritually healthy to do so. And as you groan, remember that your Lord hears your groaning and responds with tender loving care. We most often groan when we don't get our way, don't we? But sometimes it is ok to 'moan and groan' when things don't go our way. Sometimes we make things worse with our groaning (remember all the times our children would moan and groan because they were asked/told to do something?) and sometimes it is just ok to do so.
But what do we do with that groaning? Do we just sit back and moan and groan about our lot in life? Our health? Our finances? Or do we decide to do something about it? Sometimes God allows us to groan and He provides what we need.... but sometimes, don't you agree, our groaning is self-centered? I know how much I have groaned over the years on here! Things not going my way; things not happening the way I want them to, etc. We all seem to do it - I just publicize mine on here.
And sometimes in my groaning (and in yours), God listens and He steps in and either opens our eyes to the truth of our groaning or helps us to see His hand in it. For example... I groan all the time about my weight, right? Every time I look in the mirror I groan. But I still head for the chocolate dish. Or the handful of nuts. Or bread. Or ice cream. And if I can sneak it (I can't believe I did it again the other day!) in to my room without being caught (if I do that, does it still count as cheating?) it shouldn't count at all, right? I don't enjoy my 'cheat' any more than if I ate it out in the open. And it definitely isn't helping my waistline. So I groan... but what am I personally doing about it? I can pray all I want about my health, but unless I start eating the way I should and take responsibility for what I put in it, I have no reason to groan.
But if I groan over the behavior of my children or grandchildren, and bring those before the Lord, I know that He hears me and although they are the ones causing my groaning, it affects me, it affects others. But the Lord hears and although He will allow them to do whatever they choose, He will also give them opportunities to step back and say 'no'. And that is not a bad thing... it gives them a conscious choice. And the more we say 'no' to destructive behavior, the more we become the person God created us to be.
I need to get moving this morning; I'm sure hubby will want to take me out to breakfast ... and I still have to pack... but still have plenty of time. And I need to get on the work computer too and check for the message I need. They just can't do without me. HAH! Hope that you have an awesome day! Pray for a good weekend for me and my daughter... that the weekend session will truly be one that 'changes everything'.
Blessings!
