Who would have thought?

 We went to a Celebration of Life for a dear friend yesterday at church.  He was a greeter, and that very first Sunday we attended, he greeted us like we were old friends.  And every Sunday he was there, and we (I) looked forward to his greeting.  Little did we know that he was also battling cancer.  Long story short, he passed back in July and they now had his service.  We didn't know much about this guy other than he loved fishing.  He would tell me when he wouldn't be there cause he would be on vacation fishing.  I found out a lot more about him yesterday.  He had been a truck driver.  He came to accept Jesus as an adult, and he never looked back.  He was loving and kind to everyone. No one was a stranger when he was around. He loved Jesus and shared Him with others.  There was a lot more shared by his grandsons and wife, and even granddaughter.  The church was packed, which apparently surprised the wife as she seemed started when she stood up and turned around to thank everyone for coming.

But what got me... and you may laugh at me because it is so silly.... we visited a bit inside the church before we started making our way to the door.  They had food and tables set up, but we opted out and decided to leave. I am walking ahead of hubby, through the lobby, and I hear my name. I turned and there is a couple that we have known for years - from our former church days.  In fact, this is the 'Bill' that hubby used to meet for breakfast every week until he got Alzheimer and he became all weird.  He seemed fine yesterday.  Anyway - it was he and his wife.  She asked how we knew Stan (the man who passed) and I told her.  So I told her that was our church  and had met him there. She then let me know that she knew the wife BEFORE she had married Stan (2nd marriage; married 24 years).  (ok, are we pulling rank here? My year and a half versus her 24+ years?)  But what struck me after I left, is that both she and Bill had such dour looks on their faces, and I realized this morning, as I thought about it, they (not to be judging!!) are Christians..... but they forgot to tell their face!  I have never seen her smile.  I'm going to stop there, for I don't mean to judge, but the contrast from a happy Christian who loves Jesus to someone who speaks all the right words, and possibly even lives it, but to appear so unhappy?  What is up with that?  It wasn't over the death of our friend, that is the way they have always looked.  It puzzles me.  Most Christians I know are always smiling (at least around other people) .  I don't get it... and I hope I don't get THAT. Just an interesting observation.  And all hubby wanted to talk about with Bill is when can they get together for breakfast or lunch... sometimes I think going out to eat is all that man thinks about!

Hubby and I swung by Cracker Barrel on the way back cause I didn't want to do anything - not even cook Tovala.  That was a mistake.  Not only was the food slow in arriving, I got the vegetable plate of mashed potatoes and corn and two orders of fried okra.... hubby got the catfish dinner... for some reason, none of it 'hit the mark' for either of us. He said the catfish was mushy.  Interestingly, at 5:30p and the restaurant wasn't even half full.  Could it be from the cooking as it seemed to have gone downhill?  We both decided we wouldn't go back for awhile.  It was very close to the church so it was easy to slide into for a meal.

Today is Sunday and of course we will be going to church.  Now whether I will stop early enough that I can go fix breakfast for us remains to be seen.  It's only 7a so have a couple hours in here yet.  Yep - on Sundays I don't come out until around 9-ish.  My eggs ole is sounding really good right now so am thinking about that.... only make maybe half a batch rather than a full batch; don't know how much cheese I have.  Yeah, I'm getting hungry, a little, anyway. I could go get a protein drink or bar... may do that anyway. 

My big brother sometimes cracks me up.  Several months ago he and my SIL ran into a great niece that he had not seen in probably 30 years. She recognized the SIL and my brother, and my SIL recognized her, but my brother did not... which really isn't unexpected; I could probably pass her on the street and not know who she is as it has been many years since I saw her.  Anyway, the great niece asked my SIL if my brother had dementia because he couldn't figure out who she was.  So he plays on that dementia bit ever so often with me.  This morning he texts me (because I have found out our little sister also goes to that church) that if he ever saw her close enough to speak to her (now mind you, they have not spoken since 2012) he would ask her if she was MY older sister!  Then he said he could blame it on his dementia.  LOL   He and I can't figure out why she is so terrified of running into him.  He said he'd say hi if he saw her close enough.  Just isn't going out of his way to see her.  And vice versa.  This situation is one reason I struggle with going back for a visit.  And I'll leave that there.  I know what he says and I know what she says - and they are miles apart in the reasons they don't associate.  

I sometimes think about how much Christ has forgiven me.... how could I not forgive someone for less? 

Ephesians 4:32 (NIV):  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Romans 12:19 (NIV): Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God' wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. 

But the 'self' within us WANTS to take revenge, doesn't it!  When we are hurt by words or actions, we want to spread malicious gossip, we want to 'do unto them as they did to us' and we want to just go beat them up badly.  Right?  Surely it isn't just me at times. Well, maybe not the beating up badly part, but I want to tell MY side of the story before THEY get a chance to tell theirs.  Right? Please tell me I am not alone!  Sometimes I have to shut my mouth and tell myself to let God take care of whatever happened.  And you know what?  When I take my hands off the situation, God does take care of it....and it is ALWAYS in His timing.  Not today, when I want Him to take care of it, but in one of the tomorrows that I may never know about.  I have to leave issues and problems in God's hands.... how else could I survive in this world?  I've shared way too much in here about times I've been hurt (just think of the times I didn't share!) and my thoughts about it.  And God has - in most cases - worked it out.  Sometimes I have to just keep forgiving.  I even verbally speak the words "I forgive XXXX" because I know I must forgive, for if I don't forgive, that would be MY sin and that is worse than my forgiving someone for a wrong done to me.

And now I am out of things to talk about.  Church this morning, then I'm not sure about this afternoon; possibly a nap in there somewhere.  Before hubby gets the TV on (unless there is a game of some sort) I can get some reading in.  It really annoys me when he asks - almost daily - is this a read night or a movie night.?  One would say he is just being considerate.  He KNOWS I would prefer the TV off.  Yes, I do enjoy a good movie on occasion.  But I don't 'learn' anything from the movies.  The books I read are not romance novels... they are to help me grow in the Lord... and that to me is more important.  We did watch two movies last night (although hubby often sleeps through most of the 2nd one.).  I know he will turn NCIS on ... sigh.... I like NCIS, but I don't have to watch it every week - they are all reruns and most we've seen.  I guess I may work on some diamond art... or crochet.... 

Hope that you have an amazing day - and be kind to others, you don't know what they might be going through.  We are all God's children; let's share His love - it just might be what is needed to bring someone to Jesus, just by watching us walk.

Blessings!

It's Saturday -

 and normally a day that I can take my time in here, for the most part.  Today is not one of those Saturdays.  I need to stop around 7-7:30-ish and get dressed and cleaned up.... heading to Wildflower to meet my friends - Sue, Dr. K and Nancy.  We meet up about every 6 months it seems.  This one just got pushed out to today. I checked the other day and all were still coming.  We are to meet at 9a, but I can only stay until 10:30-ish as I need to head over to our church. The women's group is meeting and I still never got the cups over to the leader... which means I need to get to the church to drop off the cups... and I think it starts at 11:30a.  I'm giving myself plenty of time to get there (I hope).  After that, will come home for a short while (probably a nap) and then we will pick up a grandson who leaves tomorrow for the Army.  We are taking him out to dinner just to spend a little time with him before he leaves.   A busy Saturday for me, for sure!

I did a thing. Well, another thing. You know that I do those on occasion.  I 'bought into' one of the food services. Again.  We've done 3-4 of them over the years, I'd guess.  For the past year I have gotten information on this one - Tovala - where they give you a free 'oven' to cook the food in.  I decided to finally do it. Not that we needed the oven.  It's a toaster oven/oven/air fryer and I don't know what else all in one.  Anyway - I went with the 'best', of course.  It arrived yesterday.  It's bigger than I thought, and I do not have counter space - even where the current toaster oven is.  So I set it aside until I can figure out what to do. I think I know where I'll put it, but I need to clean off the counters anyway.  I need to declutter a lot of places - maybe the kitchen is the first place to start?  Anyway - I've ordered six meals a week - 3 each - and we will see how it works out.  We liked Nutrisystem, but it felt like it got expensive over time, but that may be because we ordered several meals?  Factor we did not care for at all.... Home Chef was good, but it got to where we were 'out' all the time and I didn't have time to prepare the meals.  Home Chef they send you all the ingredients and you actually create the dish.  Fun - and good.  But I ended up throwing some away cause I couldn't get to them.  That's on me.  So I cancelled it some time ago.  Trying Tovala with only 3 meals each.  Considering if we go out to eat at sit-down restaurants we can easily drop $50 with a tip - maybe this will save us money.  Oh we'll still go out to eat.... sigh.  

In fact, I thought about going out to eat last night, but I kept thinking about spending the money, and I just didn't want to. So hubby got a hamburger and green bean casserole. Talk about making something very easy and simple!  And he was happy.  He always eats whatever I fix.... I need to live forever or he will die from starvation as he just will not cook.  Or hasn't, let's put it that way.  He'd rather spend the money and go out to eat.  I'd rather save (for the most part) the money and eat at home.  As a last resort, he could have a protein shake, right?  Not putting him down; a lot of men don't cook.  A lot of times I just don't want to 'clean up' to go out to eat.  I'm not one of those women who wear makeup all the time.  Especially with working from home now. But I will this morning!  LOL

I'm getting used to the liners now that the 'fillers' are in place.  It still cuts into my inner lips, but, it's only for a short while. So I tell myself.  I'm not putting them back in until after the women's thing today as I eat with my friends, and although I don't plan to eat with the women (hopefully won't be hungry), I may eat dessert... just saying.  It's difficult to take in and out (I now have to use a tool, rather than my fingernails to grab hold and pull.  I'm getting used to it.  When I change out these liners next Thursday, I think it is, I will need to deal with 'new' liners that will fit tighter.  Not looking forward to that.  But, I'm in it for the 'long haul', I guess.  Better than biting my inside jaw all the time.

I need to make a run to Staples at some point too; I have a prayer shawl to send to a friend I used to support at work as her mother passed away.  I don't have anything here to mail it in and I think I can find a bag or something there.  Just haven't made it over to look. Hope to get it in the mail by Monday.

Reading in 2 Peter this morning and as I read the introduction to the book, which was Peter's last letter to the Christians in Asia Minor to encourage them, under an explanation for 2 Peter 1:5, it has this.. well, let me give you the verse first.

2 Peter 1:5 (ESV):  For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue and virtue with knowledge,

When Peter urges us to "make every effort," he does not teach salvation by works; he means we should make Christ and His kingdom our focus, putting all our efforts into running the race He has set before us.  Bishop J. C. Ryle wrote: "I would just as soon expect a farmer to prosper in his business who contented himself with sowing his fields and never looking at them until the harvest as to expect a believer to gain much holiness who has not been diligent about his Bible reading... his prayers, and... the use of his Sundays."

I think COVID restrictions really screwed up a lot of us - us included.  People were sent home and couldn't go to church or any church fellowship activities.  Yes, some churches then turned to online services - and that's great.  But, as I have mentioned before, it leaves a void because of not having the fellowship with other believers.  And after a few years, many of us got into the 'habit' of just watching 'church' on TV and not going at all... or only once in awhile.  I admit, it was hard for us to get back into going every week.  And, at times, we do not feel guilty about staying home to watch.  But we enjoy the fellowship of other believers and greeting people and being hugged and talked to.  It's a great feeling to be recognized when you walk in the door of the church, because you have been present - in person.  Sitting at home watching does not make you NOT a Christian, but we are told to have fellowship with other believers.  Sometimes we need them as much as they need us.  

So many people quit going to church completely during this time. And they never went back. I probably could say that many slipped back into their 'old ways' of living life.  There was no accountability.  Unless they were rooted in the Word, and continued in the Word, and worked around not meeting in person - i.e., Zoom or Teams calls; I admit, it is hard to maintain living in close fellowship with Jesus.  We need each other.  And, that's why I am going to the women's luncheon today, although I don't know but one or two of those that will probably attend.

Yes, this is the group of the 'over 55' women.  I've said it before, and I've said it to even the leader of this group - I don't want to go because I don't want to feel OLD.  Yes, I'm over 55.  Yes, I sometimes act like it.  But I don't want to be 'one of those' 55 + women who ACT like they are 55+.  Does that make sense?  Yet, I probably do act like it because I cannot do the things, the activities, I'd really like to be doing. And yeah, I better just hush on that cause I always get myself riled up.  Moving along....

Back to the scripture, we need to do all we can to keep growing in the Lord, to keep reading, to keep going to church, to keep (or try to be) in fellowship with other believers.  I want to get more involved in the church.  Even to the point I'm thinking of getting a few women together here at the house.  I want to find a woman that I can trust with my innermost secrets and be held accountable in my walk.  It is so easy to let things slide, and I'm being honest here.  We all need someone to hold us accountable in our walk.  Some things we may question.  Some things we may wonder about.  We are all here to lift up each other in our walk with Jesus.  I am not perfect, by any means. I fall on my face and beg for forgiveness more than you know.  It could be a word. It could be an action. It could be anything. We will never be perfect for only Jesus is perfect.  But He is our perfect example.  I wanna be Jesus to this world.  Does that make sense?

Ok - need to get off here and start getting ready for my brunch.  It's hot here, so be careful going out.  Find a good book to read and settle in.  Grab that Bible and read about grace in Romans, love in John, instructions in Paul's letters.  There are so many jewels in the Bible that in our daily readings, many times we skim over them and miss them.  Dig deep.  You won't regret it.

Have an amazing day - and be kind to someone; you don't know what they are going through.

Blessings!

Well, didn't get my 'free' night.....

 Just as I walked out of my 'office' here at home, hubby greets me with his friend had called and wouldn't be able to make it to their study tonight.  So, hubby offered for us to go 'Dutch' and go out to dinner - my choice.  I was thinking Black Angus but their parking lot was full at 4:30PM so we drove by Mimi's and it looked pretty open, so we went there.  I had a grilled salmon (about 6 ounces I think; it was small) that was really good, a baked potato and green beans.  LOL Those green beans were the long ones, but were only about 1/8" thick - could barely poke them with a fork!  But I couldn't eat everything - and it was all so good.  Oh yeah, they brought out warm french bread.  Yeah.... you know me and bread.  Out of the five slices, I ate three.  With soft butter dripping all over it.  Sooo good.  No wonder I wasn't that hungry for the food!  Hubby got his liver and onions - and even he couldn't eat everything (he had two slices of bread first).  It was someplace different to eat - although we have eaten there before, it's been awhile.  I don't like paying $$$ for meals - I think with our drinks the bill came to about $50.  I like keeping it down around $20 - but that's me. LOL

I have been up since about 2AM.  We went to bed about 8:30PM as usual.  I fell asleep fairly quickly, but was awake at 9:30PM. 12PM.  1PM.  2PM - finally I just got up and came in here.  Tried to sleep; could not. Did some reading. Knowing hubby wouldn't get up until about 4AM, I tried to go back to sleep around 3AM - but was still awake when I heard him moving a bit before 5AM.  I don't know what is keeping me awake, but God and I had a great prayer time this morning.  EVERYone got prayed for!  Which may be what I was supposed to do - be up all night praying for everyone.  My bad for trying to sleep versus pray!  I will admit it was nice to have more time - a lot more time - than I have moved it to (5-7 versus 4-7).  Maybe I should go back to the 4AM get up time.  I just felt I needed that extra hour of sleep.  Maybe I should just let God decide what time I should get up.  Sigh.  He has been waking me up at 4 AM the past few nights - only I rolled over and went back to sleep until 5AM.  Hmmm. Maybe I should pay attention better?

I have a dentist appointment this afternoon that I am not looking forward to.  Something about two teeth that they need to go in and scale.... not sure what that is about.  I just had a cleaning a few weeks ago.  Something about the gum was 'soft' so they wanted to focus primarily on these two upper back teeth. Want to bet what may happen?  This is a crown area... they will decide to pull the crown, the tooth will be black (as before - it's been crowned for over 40 years!) and the tooth will be soft, so it should come out.... and off to the surgeon again.  But maybe I am anticipating too much.  Stay tuned; it may be nothing at all.

Hubby has his vascular surgeon doctor appointment this morning, but it is just a checkup so he told me I didn't have to go (yay) as he isn't reviewing any tests; just checking the flow of his blood in his leg and abdomen.  Glad I don't have to take off work.  My lunch break will be my dentist appointment.  Oh joy.

We plan to go to the VFW after I get off work to have tacos..... I understand another large group has been invited, so will leave it up to my son to let us know if we should come or stay away.  We are early enough and will be out before most will get there, more than likely.  I hope they have enough food - and yet, don't overdo it - for they don't know how many will come.  Still, $10 for a meal that fills you up - yeah.... we'll go.  I love tacos. :-)

We have a group meeting at church in the morning from 9-11:30AM.  It's called a 'growth track' and it is really for new people in the church, but I told hubby (I think I've mentioned this before) that it wouldn't hurt for us to be refreshed in some things, and find out more things about the church.  We love our pastors and many of the people there that we have met.  In fact, after the growth track, we plan to go visit one of our friends at a rehab center.  I talked with his wife yesterday and got to pray with her over the phone.  She was so appreciative. I told her I'd call to see if it was a good day before we came over.  After that, we will probably head home and I think I need to get back to the diamond art. I would like to finish it before Christmas! LOL  

I read something in my new devotional that really stayed with me this morning.  Actually, I quickly read it yesterday, but because I didn't have time to think about it, I wanted to read it again today - and I did.

Psalm 16:5-6   Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

Sometimes we need boundaries around our own unique struggles and temptations, right?  My issue?  Food.  I.Love.Food.  I've told you that many times.  Lately another boundary I need to make is around Facebook.  I've told you how I get 'hooked' into reading those A1 stories... (yeah, I got hooked on one last night too).  Maybe it can be a certain relationship.  God helps us put boundaries in place, knowing that we need a boundary but just won't do it.  Honoring the boundaries we set helps strengthen us and will move us forward in our daily lives.  Here are some things that we can remind ourselves of when we find ourselves fighting against that boundary we set - regardless of what it is.  

* I am not made to be a victim of my poor choices. I was made to be a victorious child of God.  God helps us put a boundary in place so that our choices are better.

* When I am struggling and considering a compromise, I will force myself to think past this moment and ask myself, "How will I feel about this choice tomorrow morning?"  (I think about the times I buy something on Facebook and then immediately wish I hadn't!  How many times have I caught myself in that issue!)

* If I am in a situation where the temptation is overwhelming, I will have to choose to either remove the temptation or remove myself from the situation.  (Like, I surely can't go to an 'all you can eat buffet' for I will definitely overeat!)

* I have these boundaries in place not for restriction but to define the parameters of my freedom.  Psalm 16:5 reminds me that the boundary lines God has placed in my life are in good and pleasant places.  When I'm broken, my brokenness can't handle more freedom than this.  And I'm good with that.

This battle to have boundaries is really hard.  It feels like a war raging in your head and in your heart. You want to do what you want to do - and yet, you know that you shouldn't do what you are thinking about doing - whatever it is!  You can overcome whatever that temptation is.  You have victory in store for you.  We all have different weaknesses - but with God's help, we can overcome and stay within the boundary lines that we - and God - have placed around us.  He is for us, not against us.  Trust His boundary line.

Blessings!