I didn't get minutes done yesterday, in fact, I got very little done work wise. Hubby's electric toothbrush quit, he says. I've tried to figure out what is wrong, but have not. He started nagging again yesterday about it so I went online and found I have a lifetime warranty on it. Yep. So I put in a request to have this one replaced. They asked me to try a couple things, and although I got it going, I knew it wouldn't last. They are sending out a replacement for it. I really like the toothbrush and every three months they send out a replacement brush. I also got the water piks they have and they send out a new glass thing for it every three months as well. Hubby is happy, he will be getting a new one. I've got to quit buying him things... he always has something go wrong with them and then I am the one who has to get it taken care of. I used up about an hour yesterday talking to customer service and going through the website to find out what I needed to do. Now that I know how to go into the website, I won't have to contact customer service anymore. I was thrilled to see we have lifetime warranty on both his and mine. Our hygienist at the dentist office recommended them and gave us a code - I think I get 20% off of everything I buy. It does make a big difference.
Ok - back to erasing paragraphs tis morning. Trying to quit grumbling so much ... especially about hubby. Sigh. Some things are hard to break... a lot of things will not change by my grumbling. In fact, nothing will. So I may as well stop.
My little sister called the detective again yesterday. She told me about it last night. She keeps telling him that our sister did not commit suicide. The case is still open; but there is no proof. The detective said she had to have drank a soda can size of it... but that's not true... the doctor said one only needs two tablespoons of antifreeze for it to shut down your organs. I asked her if she reminded the detective of what the doctor said and she said no, she forgot. There is no way our older sister could drink antifreeze. If she really wanted to kill herself, she would have taken all her pain pills - which includes oxycodone.. or whatever it is. She would have just gone to sleep and not awakened. She would not do something that would cause her extreme pain before she went into the coma. It is all so confusing. I've heard my little brother's side of it; I've heard my little sister's side of it - but neither were there at the time. They only know what the hospital doctors told them. And I know for a fact, the more my little sister thinks about it, the stories change. My nephew has even called and given me his side of it.... but I don't believe all he said. And he had already changed his story from what he had told the detective and our little brother. Other than my talking to my sister the day before and she was fine - just mad that cable was down and her only form of entertainment was gone... and she may have been bored, or the nephew claims, but she still would not have done this. I just know she would not have done this. She would have gotten her hair done, her nails done, she would have put makeup on. You don't know my sister if you think she would have done it with her hair and nails looking as bad as they did. Yeah, she was prideful that people did not see her 'unmade'. Not even family. No, she didn't do this. Her papers were not in order; she left no notes; nothing makes sense. Until someone confesses, the case will remain open, and nothing can be done. The nephew is too mental to even remember specifics of that morning.... could it have gone on all night? My sister was often awake a lot during the night ... I don't know. I can only pray that God will bring justice and peace to the rest of us as we miss her.
Psalm 143:10 (NIV): "Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground."
Some days that is my only prayer. I want to be in His will always. Oftentimes it is so easy to speak the words that come to my mind - when it is sometimes better to hold them in. I often pray that God will give me wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of His Word, and help me to use them as He would. Life is hard sometimes, you know that? And, you may also know, when people age, they get more grumpy. I pray I never get that way. I tell myself I must be kind, I need to be considerate, I need to remain silent when I want to make a comment, and sometimes I succeed in that. Sometimes I just have to walk away. So many stories I could tell where I just look with exasperation of someone and wonder 'what are you thinking?' Or are they? I never know when an explosion will hit because of their own frustration of being unable to remember or do something. I tread lightly at times. And yet, at other times, things seem to be fine - if we get out of the house and are somewhere else, he seems to be fine... but here at home it is sometimes like he is another person at times.
Lord, teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. Sometimes I feel I need more than patience. Ever feel that way? Your heart has been broken into so many pieces over the years that there isn't anything left... and yet, life goes on. I know my life is nothing compared to some others. I'm not a victim of circumstances. I can stand up and demand my 'rights'. But I am tired. So I depend on God daily to help me through each and every day.
I know I'm rambling now... as before... and I may go back and eventually throw this into draft form... but one thing I want you to get out of this is that no matter what, God will never leave us, nor forsake us. He will always walk through the tough journey with you. Just because it is tough, He won't leave us. Just because we don't understand why this is happening (or even if we do), He will walk with us THROUGH the fire, and will be with us when we get to the other side.
Our hearts may be broken over things that have happened.... but God is the great Healer. He is Jehovah Rapha and I choose to lean into Him and ask for His intervention in my life. Give me the strength to do what I need to do each day, the wisdom to do it, and the ability to complete it.
"may your good Spirit lead me on level ground." I'm counting on it. I believe God for it. I trust in Him alone to help me. He will also help you. Just ask Him. It makes all the difference in your day, in your life.
Blessings!
