I overslept this morning and didn't wake up - from a deep sleep - until nearly 6a! Hubby was up and had been for over an hour. He just kept quiet so I could sleep. I didn't mean to sleep that late. I haven't in a long time. I check my sleep time on my phone, curious as to why - and it shows I was awake 8 times during the night - but interestingly, he flipped from deep sleep to a real quick wake, then to core and then back to a deep sleep. Well, core sleep was only 4 times, the rest was deep. I've never seen my stats this crazy. What in the world caused it to be like that? Why am I still feeling exhausted?
Could it be the copper in the water? Interesting thought, right? One glass in the morning, one glass in the evening. That's what I've read about drinking from tis copper bottle. But why make the bottle so big if you are only to drink one glass? I guess it is so that you can share with the family? I don't know - and I have been sharing with hubby. In fact, I have had my glass this morning and need to take it out to him (and will soon) so he can get a glass and then we'll refill it for evening. Could that have let me sleep later?
I know I went on an eating binge last night while hubby was gone. He changed back to Tuesday nights with his friend (from Thursday) so I was alone. I watched a disc on The Chosen (still trying to get all the way through it. I am using the DVD player I bought a year or so ago because I can't figure out how to get the DVD player to work with the TV. I think it is a lot of my reluctance to figure it out. I can only work on it when hubby is gone, and last night was a good time - but I didn't want to take MY time to figure it out. LOL Besides, I do have the DVD player. So eating. I felt like I just couldn't stop eating. I ate cucumbers, a 1/2 peanut butter sandwich - which is usually all I want - but last night I ended up eating a leftover pork chop and potatoes before I declared I was done and refused to eat anymore! Oh, that was also after a couple mini Unreal candy bars so that I had dessert. I haven't eaten that much in one setting in - well, I can't remember when. Not getting on the scale this morning!
But I do have Morgan at 8a this morning and my body had best start moving around so that it can go. Legs today. By Thursday I won't be able to walk much. She's tough. And it is the simple exercises that seem to hurt the worst. I've been writing down my exercises when I come back from the gym for at some point I will have to cancel my gym training and I want to know what to do for the different parts of my body. I thought about walking on the treadmill last night and watching my movie, but knowing I had legs today.... naw, not a good idea. Unless I was already walking my 10k steps a day - which I have not in a long, long time. I 'hate' that I have gotten so lazy. But after watching the DVD, I was also able to get a chapter done in the book I'm reading before hubby got home.
The book I'm reading? I think it is called Fasting with Fire but I don't remember who it is by. I know some chapters are by Lou Engle and some by Heidi Baker... but I can't remember the others. I'm finding it very interesting and encouraging me to get back into fasting once a week. My most difficult part of fasting is hubby... he thinks I'm going to 'waste away' by fasting one day. He worries so much about me, and about my health (as he should!) and is always concerned when I choose to fast. Which has been a long time. I need to put it in my mind this is what I'm going to do each week - and just do it. Even an evening meal to an evening meal, or just two meals a day and have dinner. I may be able to get by with that without too much difficulty. I want to fast and focus on God. I want to... but I always find hinderances and I don't always have the support I want. Oh well, it's between God and I anyway, not you and me.
I have learned over the years that fasting with prayer is sometimes needed for specific things to get an answer to. Fasting can be food - and you know we have done the Daniel fast (just fruits and veggies) and we have done total fast (no food, just water), and there are other fasts I've done - hubby has done the TV fast (leaving the TV off for so many days) and other things. Fasting is to be done quietly, and without fanfare. That's why it is so hard for me anymore - I feel that I'm being worried about and watched all the time. Sounds like an excuse doesn't it? Maybe it is. I've got to get over it.
Wow - I'm surprised I've written this much already; thought I'd only get a few lines in before having to shut this down. That's what sleeping late does for you. But - on a positive note - to my knowledge, I did not wake up with my legs hurting during the night - unless it was one of the quick wake-ups that is showing on my tracker. The arthritis in my finger joints doesn't feel as bad this morning and it's not swollen - could it be the copper water? Stay tuned - if I remember to think about it.
Have I ever mentioned how proud I am of my son and the journey he is on? It's not a pleasant journey. There is some pain involved. There is stress involved. There is confusion and desperation involved (on my part at least). But he has accepted responsibility and is doing all he can to remove the barriers and get beyond what it is. He is amazing. I love him so much and I am so proud of the man he is becoming. He warms my heart with his short texts and occasional stop-bys. He encourages me (he got me back to doing the HIIT workouts before I thought I wanted to), we share a reading 'love'. He has gotten involved in the community and taken (in my opinion) leadership roles. He speaks his mind still - and that's ok - but he pauses to determine if it builds up or tears down. That's a trait many of us have yet to learn. Anyway - moving on...
And I'm running out of time. Now the above is not to say that I don't love my other children - and I do - too much at times. And they try to include me in their lives as well. And I appreciate that. I really do. You would have to know our family dynamics before - and now. I will say that both of my boys have stepped up to keep in contact with me since my daughter moved away. She and I still talk, of course, about as much as we did before. At least once a week, I think. She has a new life there and I respect that. She is doing what she needs to do. Perhaps it moved the 'barrier' with my boys. They knew my daughter always checked with me so they didn't need to. Hmmm. My SIL still does my repairs though. LOL And I just make a list for when they come 'home'. I think Thanksgiving is the next time they plan to come.
And we will be doing Thanksgiving for them and their family here.... I wish the house was big enough I could extend to all my kids and their families. I wish .... things were different. People refuse to apologize and people refuse to forgive, even when forgiveness isn't asked. All they are doing is staying out of heaven and giving the unforgiven power over them. And with that -
I do need to get off here and get the work computer on. I have really rambled this morning, haven't I! I need to get dressed too - got to leave in about 30 minutes and head to the gym! Yes, I cut short my 'quiet time' (I did pray!!) so I could write in here - just didn't think I'd get it done. But here it is.
Have an amazing day!
Blessings!
