My headache is finally gone, I think, and I hope it stays away. It was a real pain to have. Pun intended!
I've read more this weekend than I have read in awhile and I must admit that I have enjoyed it. I did crochet while we watched a movie last night, but other than that, it was reading. And it felt good. I know I've mentioned before I don't usually read fiction books, preferring cookbooks or self-help books. By self- help I mean things that will help me grow spiritually. Remember what I talked about yesterday and the Rapture? Well, my little sissy and I talked yesterday and we both decided to purchase a couple books and do a study together on Revelations. We can read a bit and talk it through. She's more in to end times, as I've shared before. I haven't been, I'm more interested in living right to get to the end times. But it wouldn't hurt for me to delve into it and become more aware. I do know the book I'm reading right now is really 'deep' and I'm not sure I understand it all, but I'm trying to finish it and not put it back down.
Ah- my title today... Denial. Juts realized that I was rambling and forgot about that title. Let's see if I can write the scene as I read it in one of my devotionals this morning. There was a reporter who was doing a series on exposing the dirtiness (is that a word?) of hotel rooms. He had a black light and he would find a couple who would let them in their room and he would turn out the lights and turn that black light on. Well, he found an unsuspecting couple on an anniverary getaway and asked to go up with them and shine the black light in their room. They agreed. The arrive at the room, and the wife turns the lights on. They all look at this pristine room, everything crisp and fresh and clean. Then the lights went out and the reporter turned on his black light, and you could see stains everywhere - even on the carpet was a big stain! The wife started yelling "turn the light back on! turn the light back on!"
And that's what we do. We want the light turned back on so that we don't see what is hidden. We want the light of relationships on so that we don't see the situations and emotions that need discussed and repaired. We want the light of our lives to stay on, so that we don't see that the things we have done in the past have left big stains on our spouses, our children, our families, our homes. We go into denial mode and refuse to see damages. We want everything to be pristine and clean; everything in its place. We don't want to see anything ....
But not wanting to see it doesn't mean it isn't there.
Sigmund Freud defined denial this way: a defense mechanism in which a person is faced with a fact that is too uncomfortable to accept, so they reject it despite overwhelming evidence. Instead of brutal honesty, many of us choose denial. When we are confronted with a reality that is so uncomfortable, so inconvenient, we choose to continue living in a false reality.
That's why a lot of people medicate their denial of life circumstances. The truth is too uncomfortable so it's easier to pretend everything is ok. For example - a simple thing - how many of us (I've done this too!), that when we get a bill in the mail and we don't have the money to pay for it.... we choose not to open the envelope? We want to deny the bill.... and if we don't open it, we haven't actually received it - have we? We throw it on the stack of other unpaid bills until there is no choice and we have to face reality... or the second delinquent bill comes in. We want to deny the bill exists.
We try to deny the sins that stain our lives and pretend that they don't exist. We medicate in different ways in that denial. We think if we pour ourselves into our children, we can deny our marriage is bad; we think if we hide behind baggy clothes, we can deny we have put on too much weight. Or lost too much weight. We keep going shopping and taking trips with the pretense we have money in the bank, instead, we are making it worse. We live in denial.
But as for our sins, there is hope. When we confess our sins, the blood of Jesus is poured over us and all - not just one or two - all of our sins are washed away; covered and cleaned.
I John 1:9 (NKJV) "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
I find it easier to confess my sins than deny them. Sins hang around your neck and weigh you down. Guilt clouds your thoughts and your actions. You tell yourself that you will do better 'tomorrow'. But that tomorrow doesn't come. Things don't change. The guilt becomes unbearable and at times, we forget it is there because we keep medicating it by continually denying it exists. Our lives are miserable, and the lives of those around us are miserable.
Take a moment and just think where you are in life right now. What is it that you have been denying to yourself - and to others? Sometimes the reality is to painful to talk about so we deny the root and discuss the leaves that have grown. Get to the root of it and confess to one another what the issue is, what is it that we keep denying.
Confess that sin and be washed clean. You will feel so much better! And you can face what is in front of you; sometimes it has to come down to just you and Jesus. Then you can face the world.
Blessings.
