Morgan made me cry again.

 There is one exercise that I absolutely can not stand.  You will laugh and think I'm crazy.  And you may be possibly right.  But it is the reverse leg curl machine. I absolutely hate it.  Yes, I used the 'h' word.  I do not like it at all.  And last night was legs...and she made me do it.  Not only one set.  But three different exercises within one set - and I had to do three of them!  You lay on your belly on this machine with the rollers at the back of your ankles.  You bend your legs back.  Sounds easy, right?  It is - without weights.  Granted, she 'only' put 15 pounds on it but it's heavy!  It was ten reps of the full leg bend. Then ten reps of from the top, half bends.  Then it was ten reps of full to the top and then hold for two seconds.  Ten of each.  Three sets.  Yeah, my tears were filling up my eyes and I was grunting.  She was helping me in the last two sets, but it was still painful and embarrassing cause I couldn't get my legs to pull the weight up.  But, I have decided, after that embarrassing and painful ordeal, I am going to master that stupid machine and excel on it.  I am not going to let it defeat me.  I don't like that machine, it is difficult.  But I am going to do it.  I may as well suck it up and do it - Morgan knows I hate that machine and puts me on it occasionally anyway.

I found out what was going on in the corner yard - they were putting rocks on the side yards.  The front and back still have grass.  They even did a nice design.  

My coach on Virta, as I mentioned yesterday, sent me two questions and I answered them last night.  I was really discouraged though.  I had forgotten to take my ketone measurement the night before so I took it right after I did my glucose yesterday morning. It was .4 - which is good, but not in 'nutritional whatever it is'.  I thought that when I took it later in the day, it should be higher - right?  They want it .5 or above.  Well, I fixed an egg and cheese sandwich (using keto bread-one slice) for breakfast. 2 deviled eggs was lunch.  I made a meatloaf with no crackers or oats in it and as I was taking out of the pan, a piece fell off (about a TBLSP) and I ate it. That was 1.  We have to wait two hours after our meal to take our ketone measurement so I waited until 4PM to take it.  We went yesterday afternoon to get our taxes done and we stopped at what used to be KFC/Taco Bell - and neither of us noticed the KFC part is gone and it is entirely Taco Bell now.  I didn't order anything, but hubby did, so I had a glass if unsweetened ice tea while he ate his burrito and taco and drank his Dr Pepper.  I took my ketone measurement at 4PM and it was .1.  Have no clue why it went down.  So last night before going to bed I finished off a box of girl scout cookies.  Before you roll your eyes at me, it was only two pieces.  Yes, probably about 27 carbs for those two lousy cookies - but I wanted to get rid of them and I refuse to throw good cookies in the trash. 

My coach responded this morning and has encouraged me because although my ketones jump up and down, I am mindful of what I'm eating and I'm exercising and not just giving up but pushing through and trying to get it together.  This Virta plan is really for diabetics and helping them get their bodies regulated. I've read where some have had insulin reduced or they have even gone off of it after losing weight and eating more healthy.  I'm not a diabetic but need to be careful as my family (the male line) has diabetic and heart issues.  But, cutting back on breads and cookies (no, I didn't tell him I ate those cookies!) and potatoes (although I did eat biscuit and gravy and potatoes when out with my son Saturday, but not like I used to eat it!) has helped.  I measured my waist yesterday and I think I am down 3"!  I need to find when I took it a few months ago and compare.  That is encouraging.

Our appointment with our CPA for taxes went fairly well.  In and out in about 20 minutes.  We get back from State enough to pay the Federal.  Same way it has been for the past several years. Grateful the money comes in from the State a little over what we pay for Federal.  I need to keep better records - as I tell myself every year.

This morning I have my dermatologist appointment for a 'look over' and to see the bites on the inside of my leg - again.  They are fading - but why do I still feel pin pricks?  Why does it sometimes look gray under the skin?  Is it all my imagination?  I hope this doctor, the son of the one I had been seeing (he retired in January) will be a bit more knowledgeable and able to give me clear answers.  If not, it may be my imagination - and yet - why does it wake me up in the middle of the night - and why when I'm sitting and reading it will start hurting?  

Psalm 62:7 (NKJV):  In God is my salvation and my glory; the Rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.

God is definitely my strength in so many things - in so many trials of this life.  He is the One whom I call out to in times of struggle (working out at the gym, for one!), in times of turmoil (when life seems so hard), in times of goodness.  Something stood out to me in my reading this morning.  A woman was testifying about she had bills to pay, and God provided unexpectedly the finances to pay for them, and she thanked Him for His faithfulness.  So here is the question.

Would she have thanked God for His faithfulness if He had NOT provided the finances to pay her bills?

We are to thank God always for everything.  He is our salvation.  He is our Rock.  He is our Strength. He is our Refuge. He is our Provider.  He is All Things - and He alone is worthy to be praised - whether we get the answer we want or not to our prayers, to our requests.

I didn't sleep well again last night and I'm not sure where my prayers flipped.  When I awaken, I've gotten to where I don't look at the clock, but just start praying in my mind.  But last night, as I was naming my children, and those that came to mind, my only prayer for them was "May Your will be done."  I don't know where that came from.  It is like I can ask God for blessings and provision and care for those I pray for, but it is His Will that will happen.  I just bypassed the asking, and just named them and said "Your will be done."   I could not bear to lose any of my family.... but again, God's will be done.  He will bring good, even out of the painful situations we find ourselves in.

Sometimes we don't see the good in the situation until much later.  Sometimes we feel it is much, much, later.  The one good I think about, is my remarriage and moving here.  Because I was away from family, because we were having difficulties within the marriage, we went to church.  And, going to church, we had a preacher who preached the Bible.  And when I heard it, I ran back to Jesus.  Jesus changed my life for the better.  It didn't change all the situations and problems we had then, nor the many, many that we faced later, nor even the things we face now.  But it changed me.  And through me, others got to hear about Jesus.  It probably would not have happened had we stayed where we were.  It took getting me away from others, to where I had to make my own decision, that I found Jesus.

You can find Jesus too - right where you are.  Right now.  Are you tired of the life you have been living? Are you ready to come alive again?  All you have to do is surrender.  And let His will be done in you. Take this opportunity to get right with Jesus.  He is your salvation, your Rock, and your Refuge.

Blessings!

The day flew by -

 I don't know if it was because I was fairly busy all day with scheduling and moving meetings or what - but I didn't even take a lunch break - although I did pause and skim my phone a couple times.  (guilty. I need to stop doing that)  It just seemed that the hours slipped by and before I knew it, I had to get ready to head to the gym.  Morgan changed her mind.  We didn't do core last night.  We did legs.  I much rather do upper body training, but she chose legs.  She also gave me a compliment. She said as we finished up that I am a trainer's dream trainee.  I do everything she tells me to do and I don't quit; I push through and complete the exercise.  Tee hee.  Hubby had legs yesterday too and he came home and was telling me about the leg press he did - and how his trainer had him press 180 pounds (90 on each side).  I told Morgan about it.  Guess what she did!  She had me do it too (yes, I pressed 180 pounds!) only she made me 'pulse' each rep, meaning full press, then a partial, then full, then a partial.  She tells me I am stronger than what I give myself credit for.  I quit looking at what weight she puts me on; I just do what she tells me to do. She does crack me up when even I know the weight is too light.  I'll glance over at her and she will go "I'm falling asleep; stop; I'm putting on more weight". LOL  

Today my male boss SHOULD be going on vacation; think he is going back to Utah for a family reunion. He isn't supposed to be back to work until next Tuesday so I may have some breathing room.  My favorite boss is in Buffalo until the end of the month; working 3-4 days a week and then taking a day off.  I may have smooth sailing this week.  Still have lots of work to do, but not as much as when they are here. Grateful I have Thursday and Friday off.  I think I really do need more than just a weekend to recover at times.

I've been reading some really interesting books that talk about following Jesus.  And I believe what they say. Especially the one by Andrew Womack in which he says that if it isn't in the Bible, then it isn't true.  You know, I hope, that I believe the Bible is the Word of God and all of it is true.  Yeah, I fail on a lot of His instructions, but I'm trying to get on track.  God's Word is the final Word.  We let preachers and people tell us how we should think, how we should feel, what we should do..... but if it doesn't align with what God says, the word of that person is a lie.  No matter what they think or how convincing they say it.  People have asked me if they need to attend church to be a Christian.  I may be wrong, but I tell them that no, they don't need to attend church to be a Christian, BUT, God's Word says that we should be in fellowship with other believers, which means that we should meet with other believers and share God's Word.  Sure, there are some Sundays that I just don't want to go to church.  No reason, just don't 'feel' like going (thank you to COVID we all got used to staying home on Sunday mornings).  Some times we don't go, but watch on the computer.  And sometimes we regret not going.  I think right now it is because we aren't really 'involved' in the church.  We are feeling more of a connection, somewhat, but I'm still missing something, and I can't even explain what it is.  The church we were in for years was 'home' and it was totally different than this one.  Like I've mentioned many times, we have difficulty getting past the culture and the screaming into the mic.  It just isn't necessary.  But it is their culture and it just feels we can't get into it.   Don't know what the block is.  We love the people.  It's been 4 years I think; 3 at least.  One would think we would be used to it by now.   So I pray and ask God where does He want us to go.  Where we are to go may not be in existence yet.  Or we may have ruled one out.  It's His choice, not ours.  I just have to listen.

Psalm 100:4   Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.

How much have we taken for granted what God has done for us?  He provides a home for us. He provides food for our tables.  He meets our needs. He restores relationships. He is our Jehovah Jireh, our Jehovah Rophe, and our Jehovah Nissi.  But do we stop and thank Him?  When we sit down to eat a meal, do we pause to say "thank You, Lord, for providing this food for us. Please nourish it to our bodies."  Remember the prayers we learned as a child?  God is good, God is great, let us thank Him for this food. By His hand we are fed, thank You, Lord, for our daily bread.   I can remember my brothers making light of prayer that when they were asked to say 'Grace', they would bow their heads and just say "Grace".  The first couple times it cracked us up, but after that, they were reprimanded.  We are to give God praise in ALL things.  Not just our food.  Not for just when things go right for us.  Not when something unexpectedly good happens.  We are to thank Him for all things, for He provides for us.

Take a few moments after reading this and speak to God and tell Him "thank you" for all that He has given you and your loved ones.  Did He provide food for your family, give you place to live, provide transportation, provide work, give you friends? There are so many more things that He does for us. He gives us Peace in the midst of storms.  He brings us Comfort when we are hurting.  He is our Shelter in any storm that comes at us. 

Let's just say that I know that I am empty and lost when I don't have Jesus in my life.  He is the most important One to me.  I may fall on my face many times, but when I seek His face and ask forgiveness, He picks me up, and sets my feet on His solid ground.  Thank You, Jesus!  He provides even when I don't ask. I still need to thank Him.  And so do you.  

Blessings!