I know I have some things that I want to do.... and some of the things that I want to do will get completed even if hubby is with me. Notre Dame isn't playing today, he has told me already, so that also tells me that if I want to do anything, he will be 'with me'. Stuck to my side. Even at the grocery store. I may be wrong..... I have some things I want to do that I don't need him with me. He won't understand.. ah.. and I am probably making no sense at all. Just rambling to get this blog started. Aren't you glad you started reading and are now scratching your head and wondering where I am going with this? Actually, I'm going no where, so rest your mind.
I will be finishing up here soon and will either go cook breakfast or ask if he wants to go out for breakfast - which you know he will. That man does love to eat! He ate breakfast with his buddies yesterday and then came home and complained about why he can't lose weight. Just like we all do, I think, when we know we ate some things that we probably could have passed on. I'm just as guilty. If I go out to eat, I want to eat what I want, not what I should. But I have gotten better at my choices.
Another interesting read in my devotional this morning. It was his 30th birthday and they were driving home from another city and his wife turns to him and says, "I don't think you really love me." Obviously, that shook the man up, and he mentally started to defend himself.... after all, she couldn't provide any answer as to why she felt that he really didn't love her. He began to ask her questions... "Do you feel that I don't provide enough financially for you?" "Do you feel I don't spend enough time with you?" "Do you.... and he went through numerous questions to which she responded to each one with "Yes, you do provide quite well financially." "Yes, you do spend enough time with me." "Yes, you do ......" To which he felt a loss of what it could be - because she couldn't tell him what it was that made her feel that way. It was just a feeling she had.
Some time later, the thought occurred to him what it possibly was. Even though he provided for her, he spent time with her, he did all these things for her..... even when he was with her, he wasn't 100% with her. He was always mentally preparing for the next message he was to give, or creating a song in his mind, or just thinking about what activity he was planning for the church youth. She never had his complete attention, even when he was with her.
Does that sound like you? I know it sounds a lot like me. I feel my situation is totally different because hubby doesn't work or have a hobby.... if he isn't watching TV, sleeping in his chair, reading his phone or a book, he is on his computer or working through his lessons for his bible study. And that's ok - not criticizing him at all. He's in his element, in his own world. I'm wrapped up in my job Monday through Friday. He interrupts frequently, coming in to sit in the chair to tell me about his breakfast, what he ate, what the discussion was about. I 'politely' listen, keeping an eye on the computer. But he doesn't have my full attention.
When we are together (me not working, him by my side), I'm trying to get things done - whether physically or mentally. I'm planning the next meal; what I need at the store; shopping I need to do; where I am on my crochet project; I need to clean the clutter; I need to visit Ms. Diane; I need to visit Ms. Vicky; I need to..... all these things run through my mind..... and I'm never really 'there' with him. I am his life, it feels at times. Some women would treasure being in my shoes.... but well, not going there.
But as I read in the book - the thought occurred to me... how does God feel when I am with Him? I have to admit that sometimes (not always!) my thoughts are not always all about Him, even when I'm with Him. Even when I come in here and read His Word, sometimes my thoughts will wander to what I need to be getting done. During my prayer time, my thoughts will wander to something other than what I wanted to be praying about. Hence, it is better to pray without ceasing because I don't always get all done in the mornings! I can remember times when God did have my complete focus. And I love the memory of those times.... and I long for them again. That is what I have been wanting, and striving for, for a long, long time. I think I have mentioned it here numerous times.... I want to get away by myself - just me and God - where I can just lay everything else down and just focus on Him.
So many times we look to God as our 'need-meeter'. When we need something (or want something) we think about Him and send up a prayer for Him to provide. Just like a husband and wife provide for their family, we expect God to provide for us. But He wants so much more for us! He doesn't want to just be our 'provider' (Jehovah Jireh), He wants to be our All in All.
Think of it this way.... when you take your children out on a trip, don't you want them to be engaged with you on the trip? Talking with you, laughing with you, connecting with you. (same with spouses, by the way) We want the connection. But instead... the child (or spouse) is buried in their phone and playing games. They may respond to you - or not. Depends if their earplugs are in. How does that make you feel? Probably frustrated, disappointed. Right?
How do you think God feels when we push Him off to the side so that we can entertain ourselves with other things? That we can focus on other things? He's only there to meet our needs, right? Like a parent does with a child? And this world is getting worse with supplying ipads and entertainment to childen as they grow up - they don't learn to interact mentally with the people around them. We are just as bad........ our phones before God. Our TV before God. Our reading before God. Crochet before God (yeah, I'm using myself as an example as well). Do we give God as much time as we give the world and the things around us?
The gift that God gives us - to know Him personally - is a great gift that we often times let fall by the wayside. Why not take a few minutes, starting today, and before you do an activity (cause God does want us to have fun!), thank God for providing for you and your family; praise Him for the opportunities that come your way. Give Him glory for who He is. You will find your heart will feel better, your attitude will change, and you will be able to love others much easier. It's all about putting Him first and being with Him completely. Think about it.
Be completely with your spouse today. Be tuned in to your child. And when you take those few moments to send God a prayer or a thought, be completely with Him.
Blessings!
