What is it, Lord?

 We had our first (and only scheduled) Christmas dinner last night with other pastors from the State Association we are in. Ya know, hubby scares me (more so than just 'makes me nervous') when he says things like.... "is this just for ministers?"  We have been going to these Christmas parties since the mid-90's, when I/we were first licensed.  They used to have 200-300 people show up.  Last night there may have been 40-50 people there.  Big change.  People move; change churches or they are 'too busy' to come - which is what I heard was told the leader.   It was a nice evening and although we didn't know many of the pastors as there are so many new ones, but it was good to see those we did know.  Ironically.... the majority of the pastors there were Hispanic.   And we had REAL HOMEMADE Mexican food last night.  Homemade tamales (I have never tasted any that was so good before!), posole, mole (naw, I didn't try that), enchiladas, rice, real refried beans, horchacha (or whatever it is called - it's a white drink - rice milk with cinnamon .. and so good) and the typical Mexican desserts; sweet breads and flan and a couple others.  I did not eat dessert.  There was absolutely no room.  But it was all so good and we had a great time.

Each table was asked to share one Christmas memory or tradition that we do.  I shared about my grandchildren coming over to bake Christmas cookies and Christmas mice, and how my granddaughter brought up HER daughter last year so that we could bake together.  Those are my treasured memories.  I want to encourage my daughters and daughters in law to start the tradition with their grandchildren as they come along.  My first granddaughter was two years old when we started this tradition.  I'm so grateful for all the years I have had with each one at Christmas time.  And they all grow up; but I hope they will always hold in their hearts the fun we have had over the years.  I'm hoping I can encourage some to come this year and bake.  Yes, it takes time away from things I need to do at times, but the time I get to spend with them is priceless.  I'll have to figure out how to manage it.  Grandchildren grow up and work now, and I know it isn't easy to find free time for either of us.

Oh - my title this morning?  I don't know what it was, but I couldn't sleep last night.  I was even up until around 10PM before I went to bed.  Hubby was already in bed snoring.  I feel like I tossed and turned most of the night.  I thought of my boys and prayed for them; I prayed for others as they came to mind. I (think) I even asked God 'what is it, Lord?', hoping He would bring to mind what was keeping me awake.  We ate dinner around 7-ish... could it be that it was because we ate later than usual?  I didn't drink caffeine at all... what could have kept waking me up?  

But when I woke up at 4:30AM (instead of my 4AM - didn't 'feel' my alarm on the watch go off) I woke up with the verse "Your goodness keeps running after, keeps running after me.  Your goodness keeps running after, keeps running after, me. With my life laid down, I'm surrendered now, I'll give you everything, Your goodness keeps running after, keeps running after me".  I like it when I wake up with a song in my mind... but I still don't know what kept me awake most of the night - nor why I woke up with that song in my mind.

Sigh.  Want to hear an update on my sister and her furniture saga?  I tried to go back to where I've written about it different times to see what I wrote, but didn't find it.  Anyway... if you recall, the third time she placed the order through the internet, she said it was a wholesale/warehouse thing but she could still get the furniture she wanted.  Then the next day or so she cancelled it again.  She said she didn't talk to anyone, but she had also said she would get her money back in 10-14 days, so I'm not sure where she came up with that.  She also had been on the phone 3 1/2 hours and no one ever picked her call up.  Well, I guess her hubby finally confronted her and told her that something didn't sound right.  She could never get through; she had written an email and cancelled it, but had gotten no response.  No confirmation of the cancellation.  She had told me it was AFC warehouse or wholesale or something; I don't remember... I tried to look it up and never could find it.  She called me yesterday and was relating the 'rest of the story'.  Her hubby googled it... and all over the page were comments - DO NOT ORDER FROM THIS PLACE - IT'S A SCAM.  Getting the right information, I googled it and found it... and saw what her hubby saw.  Also saw that the BBB was involved and said they investigated because there had been 1012 complaints within the last three years - and 757 of these complaints had been resolved. It is a scam company.  They were going to go to the bank to see if there was a way they could recoup her monies (about $1300) that was taken out of the account.  I haven't heard how that came out.  I told her to also notify the BBB and file a complaint so that they will continue to investigate.  She said that she had told her hubby that 'my sister said it was ok'.  I'm going "What?!  You had already ordered the furniture and I couldn't find it because she couldn't get the website name straight - so I probably did say 'I guess it is ok'".  I don't think I could order furniture online from a place I had never heard of, without investigating comments and the BBB.  I'm hoping - and praying - she can get her money back.   

When I did talk with her yesterday, she was also returning a lot of purchases from Amazon.  Not saying that is bad; I've done some of that this year as well.  But she is a shopaholic and I'm not talking one to five items.  I'm talking like about 15-20 items she will return.  Her hubby went with her yesterday to return some.  She said she saw how many gifts she had for the 5 grandchildren, then started looking at what she had spent - and realized she had bought gifts without looking at the price tag.  Who would pay $79 for a Barbie airplane?  I NEVER would, even if I had the money - unless it was the ONLY gift they got! (and add to that two Barbies!)  She was returning the airplane yesterday.  I have overspent.  I admit it.  Spent a lot more than I meant to.  But, prices have gone up a lot on a lot of things.

For example, there probably won't be summer sausage this year unless I can find it someplace the price has been reduced.  With the number of boys that would receive it, it has gotten too pricey.  Even Amazon was over $11 each and buying 12 brought it to around $167.  I'm sorry; I just can't do it.  So they get beef jerky instead this year.  And have you priced THAT lately?  Not complaining (much); I buy what I buy because I want to.  But at some point one must draw the line.  Right?  And can you believe they are charging over $5 at some places for the $1 box of chocolate covered cherries I always gave the girls?  For 10 pieces! I did find some less than that, but I'm afraid that some traditions are going to fall by the wayside over the next year or so.  Ok - enough of my grumbling about the price of the 'age'.

Jeremiah 7:23 (NKJV):  "But this is what I commanded them, saying, 'Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be My people. And walk in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well with you."

Have you ever wondered why life is tough sometimes?  Many, many times, it is OUR OWN FAULT things happen the way they do.  But what about those times when it isn't our fault and bad stuff happens?  What about those times with good things happen?  We don't usually dwell on the good times happening, do we? 

But the best part of any stuff happening, is that when we walk with God, and we allow Him to guide us, even the bad stuff can be turned for our good.  Sometimes the consequences of our actions, though hard to deal with at that time, help us to not do that again.  Well, in most cases, anyway.  For some people, they just don't want to learn, and take their chances on the consequences.  Me, I prefer not to do it again so that I don't have to deal with the consequences.  

I guess I've rambled on enough this morning for my mind has gone totally blank.  I need to write (another) list of the things I need to get done prior to Christmas.  I was going through it in my mind last night - I'm heading to Mesa again on Thursday this week - meeting one department for lunch - and I'm taking two of my bosses their Christmas gifts.  Which means I need to get busy and make them!  I have to decide what I'm going to give them.  My male boss has a wife who is an excellent baker and a stay at home mom who cooks exceptionally well.  But, because he is a male, it is also harder to buy for him.  I don't know him that well; he is a 'young thing' - late 20's/early 30's - and makes a lot more money than I do!  He may get cookies and a jar of bread n butter pickles.  I don't know - but got to figure out something!  The other boss I will be seeing is a female, and I don't know her well either, however, I have finished up a cotton throw that I started some time ago and I think I will wrap it up and give to her with some goodies.  After all, with working, there isn't time to do a lot of their own baking.  Will have to think about it - and be prepared to do it Wednesday!

Hope you have an amazing, productive day!

Blessings

January 1, 2012

And here we are - the first day of the new year. I even remembered to write 2012 when I wrote in my journal this morning. Tomorrow I will probably do 2011 again. It just takes awhile, doesn't it!

We came over to our daughter's after church today to meet up with her family and her two brothers. One brought his family, one didn't. Miss getting to see those grandchildren - but I have plenty here to get hugs from. :-)

We have a tradition in our family. Actually, my mama started it many years ago.  For new years day, one has to have pork (in some form), cabbage (again, in some form), and black-eyed peas.   I have continued that tradition because I want my children and grandchildren to remember traditions from my mama.  For years we would have ham, coleslaw and black-eyed peas, but for several years now it is revolved to BBQ ribs, coleslaw and black-eyed peas.  Doesn't matter if we have anything else or not - we have to have that for the menu.  Why?  Because I want to do it that way.  My mama always told me that it was called a 'poor man's lunch.  Certainly not the extravagant way we cook/make it now, but since my mama was from Tennessee, I can see a piece of pork, cooked cabbage and black-eyed peas for a 'poor man's lunch'. 

Oh - another tradition my mama did was in the coleslaw she would hide a silver dollar. Along with the lunch, whoever (without searching for it) received the silver dollar in their coleslaw, got to keep it.  That was to also bring them luck throughout the year.  Usually Ralph, my middle child, is the one who always found it.  The funny thing is - he would let everyone else go ahead of him and get their food.  He would always go last.  He said that way he could load up since everyone already had their food.  Well, today things did not go as planned.  One of our granddaughters, Tricia, found the quarter in the last bite of coleslaw on her plate.    Oh, yeah.... my mama gave silver dollars..... I use quarters.

It has been a good day.  I love spending time with family.  Just thought of something else my daughter got us doing a couple years ago.  You can do it too.  On a piece of paper put 2012.  Then list  the following in a column:   Physical Goal; Spiritual Goal; Financial Goal; Personal Goal.   Beside each one write out your goal for 2012.  I am proud to say I did achieve 3 of my 4 for 2011.  What I didn't make?  My personal goal of running a 5K.  Just didn't get around to training for it.  At least this time I could put a mini-marathon down since I will be doing that in Indiana in May.  We have sealed our 2012 goals in an envelope and they are now put away until January 1, 2013.

Today is also the first day of my 21 day fast.  It has been difficult at times - especially since I did the cooking for lunch!  But, I maintained my fast to have fruit and vegetables throughout the day.  I don't share that to brag or to build myself up.  I share it to encourage you.  It is hard to fast - even when God calls you to it.  I will not be sharing the journey every day, but will on occasion for the next 20 days share what I'm doing, how I'm doing.  Spending time with God is priceless and bringing to Him my requests  - well, I know He hears me.  My fast is not for me, it is for my family for whom I pray, for my church and others that I care about, and for the communities around us.  I also include my friends in my prayers.  I want to see God move in all three areas and I want to get out of the way so that He can.

This first week my focus is my husband, children and their families, as well as extended family members.  Friends are also included in my prayers.  If someone was praying for you, what you want them to be praying?  Sometimes people don't ask for prayer, they just hope someone is praying.  They don't want anyone to know they have a need.  Share your need - someone may be waiting to bless you, and be blessed by helping.

I can't wait to see - and hear - what God is doing and will be doing within my family and friends as I bring them before Him.  

Blessings!

Shopping?

Wow - it isn't even December yet and I'm already shopping a lot!   So glad I'm not working so that I can go in the day time when others are at work.  It sure does make a difference!  I'm hoping to finish shopping by the 2nd week of December so that I can focus on my baking and canning. 

Finished up two of the grandchildren yesterday and got a good start on a couple others.  No, I don't buy a lot of gifts anymore - just a couple per grandchild now.  I try to focus on my children and their spouses - they do without all year to provide for their children - now I want to bless them.  Just  being a 'mom'.   Which reminds me of a true story...

One Christmas, many years ago, I was struggling with strept throat.  I didn't know it was more than a sore throat so I continued to bake, to can, to shop - just like every year.  At that time, I think we had only 3 grandchildren.  Anyway, I wanted everyone to come to "grandma's house" for Christmas morning first thing - just like when I was growing up and everyone came to my mom's house.  (I'm big on traditions.)  After we married, we always got the children together around 6AM on Christmas morning.  This Christmas was no exception to that.  I would cook a big breakfast and after opening gifts, we would all eat together, then they were free to go wherever they wanted for the rest of the day.  I would buy so many gifts - sometimes buying silly things to ensure that everyone had the same number of gifts.  Exactly.  Didn't matter how much I spent (which was never a whole lot), but everyone got the same number of gifts.  That year I remember it was 27 gifts apiece.  Of course we had to open each one - one person at a time - so it took us a little while to get through all the gifts.  I loved watching it all - but being sick, I could only sit in my chair and watch.

After the gifts were open and everyone went in to eat, I continued to sit in my chair when God spoke to me. Yes, I know without a doubt it was Him.   "You are selfish."   What?  Me selfish?  How can you say I'm selfish?  Look at all these gifts I bought and all these things I made - how can you say I'm selfish?  "You are selfish." 

As I sat there and thought about it, God revealed to me why He said I was selfish.  I wasn't selfish with material things.  I was being selfish in wanting my children and grandchildren with ME first thing on Christmas morning.  The grandchildren were not even opening their gifts at home - they were being awaken to come to grandma's house first. They would then either go to their 'other grandparent's house' or home to open their own gifts.  As God revealed all this to me, I realized He was right.  I was being selfish.

I called my children over and told them I was sorry, that God had revealed that I was being selfish.  Of course they immediately said 'you are not!' - so I had to explain.   I told them from then on, they were to have their Christmas at home first, and then stop by whenever they wanted to later Christmas day.  It was hard for me to tell them that, for I love being with them all and seeing all their excitement.

But Christmas is not about me.  It is about Jesus, his birth celebrated on Christmas day.  That is what we are to be celebrating - not giving gifts to each other.  But, of course, I still do that, just not in that quanity.  It isn't the number of gifts, it is being with family that you love.  (and perhaps some you don't!)

This year, think about what you do Christmas morning.  We start ours off with just Tom and I.  We open our stockings from Santa (yes, I still believe in Santa Claus) then gifts from each other.  Tom brings my coffee before we even start (is he trained or what!)  I fix lunch now - and whoever stops by around that time opens their gifts and eat when they want to.  Then later in the day we head out to our daughter's for a few hours.  They insisted on starting their own tradition of everyone going to see them.  Kind of like I was doing first thing, I think, but it is what they wanted.  It's not the same as by then it is crazy and everyone opens their gifts at the same time and I miss getting to see their faces seeing what I searched so diligently for them.  But, each family has started their own traditions.  And I have to let go.

Think about what you would like to change from Christmas past, then make that change.  Take time to celebrate Jesus and remind your children and grandchildren the reason for the celebration.  It isn't just about gifts, it is about loving each other too.   What is your tradition?

Blessings!