is a good word. Webster's dictionary states this meaning: ....overpowered by thought or feeling. Sounds appropriate, doesn't it? That's exactly how I was feeling yesterday. Whether it was by all the emails I had when I turned on my computer yesterday morning, or by the conference call with my brand new top boss mid-morning, or just by all the meetings and things I must complete, I was overwhelmed with all I had to do. I did get most of the things completed yesterday, but I have one critical meeting I still need to make - and daggone it - some people don't read the entire email and so don't respond to me, and I'm still waiting on their response. I will resend this email to one of the admins of a critical one and ask again if her person could be available for 30 minutes in one of the 5-6 times I gave her. She read the first line of my email, commented on it, and ignored my request for availability. I have to get this meeting scheduled today.
I did work out a little with my weights yesterday and even did a partial of the workout on video that I want to get into. If I don't apply myself to strengthen my body, it won't happen, and I will get weaker. I don't want anyone to feel obligated to 'take care of me' as I age, and it is up to me to stand on my own two feet for as long as I can. I don't want dependency of my self on others. I have to push through my exhaustion. Most is probably from not sleeping well anyway. Hubby tosses and turns so much with his arthritic shoulder that I rarely can sleep sound through the night.
We begin our vacation two weeks from today. Part of me is looking forward to it - the other part is screaming 'why are you staying so long?'! It's all good. I truly feel this will be the last time we see some of the relatives as we are all getting up in age and some have much worse health issues than my complaints about mine. I'm trying to be sure we spend time - at least over dinner a time or two - with everyone. Only God knows if even I will ever be able to make the trip again.
It's hard to believe today is Wednesday... and the week is nearly over. So many times when I was much younger, couldn't wait for the weekend.... and now they come quickly. Time is flying by and I am not accomplishing the things I would want to get done. Life seems to get in the way of each day... things like having to work, and then trying to cram all the things I need to do, and want to do into the weekends make them go by quickly as well. Do you realize that Christmas is only a few months away? I'm glad I already have a start on gifts, but still have other things to get. No idea what for some people. I buy because I love to give.... not because I'm obligated or have to. I like being able to find something and think of someone and want to get it for them. And usually I can't wait for an occasion to give it to them! But I need to wait on some. I'm running out of room in my closet so once we are back from vacation, may pull everything out and double check my list, then just wrap and label the gifts and mark certain people 'done'. I know I will find more things... but I will just have to resist. I love to buy things for my kids, but if they need something they get it. I'm at a loss anymore on what to get them. And there isn't anything we need.
I guess we are going to get a new patio door.... this one has slipped off the track and has gotten hard to open. Someone was over yesterday to measure and it will be ordered today - and they plan to install it tomorrow and perhaps Friday, as they will be removing the entire frame and putting in a new frame. I think part of the track is bent and will continue to jam the door if we don't replace it. Getting a new screen too. I'm curious if hubby is expecting me to pay for it out of my savings, or if he will pay for it out of 'our' savings. He has no problem with taking what I've saved and frequently refers to what I have as 'our' money. A whole 'nother story of my life. At least the replacement will remove something to complain about.
God is good, and He is faithful...all the time. As I sit here and think back, I can see God's hand upon so many areas of my life. He watches over us faithfully. I often wish I wasn't working (as you know) so that I could spend more time being involved in His work, volunteering, etc. But, God keeps me working so that we can afford to do things, to replace things that need to be replaced. I appreciate when family members step up to take care of things, but I also don't want them to ever feel I expect it from them. Life is give and take and some people are givers, and some are takers. I never want to be known as a 'taker' in that I expect things to be done for me, without gratitude.
It's been a nerve-wracking couple of weeks with both hubby and I having tests completed. I finally got the 'release' yesterday from the doctor's office that everything is fine and I don't need to go back until next year for my wellness physical. I like those words. Hubby is having a major test today for which he is extremely worried about. I am not worried, for I believe that God is in control. But he has always been a worrier, especially about his health. Whatever comes of this test, God is still in control. I'm trusting and leaning into God... and I pray that his fear will be turned into peace. God's peace that passeth all understanding.
Where are you at in God's peace? Do you feel calm and relaxed and at peace with life? Or are you uptight and cranky and grumpy over what you feel you have been dealt in life? Just a few words can make all the difference. "Jesus, I need you. Please forgive me for...... and help me to let You take over this issue that troubles me. I trust in You and I believe that You love me, and will give me the peace that I seek to get through this. You won't take me to something and not get me through it. Thank you for loving me that much. Please help me in my weakness. Amen."
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life."
May the Lord bless you and keep you, make his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you. May the Lord turn his face towards you, and give you peace.
Amen.
