Why? Because it is board meeting day and I have to take minutes. And, legal has now decided -after all these years - that we can no longer record the meetings. Now, in all honesty, I haven't bothered to listen to the recordings as I was able to let my notes suffice, but still, it was my back-up if I couldn't understand something. And what is weird, is that the recording only lasts about 3 weeks on Teams and then it disappears. So I will go back to how I used to do it... I will record it on my tape recorder 'just in case' I need clarification. The meeting will be in Tucson; I have not met personally any of these members - and I do not know their voices from just a couple board meetings. Yeah, I'm already grumbling I have to take minutes. Doing these will be one of the things I will enjoy giving up - if I can ever retire.
I've been feeling like I've been beat up and spit out lately.... and yet, nothing to me has happened. I think I'm going through a bout of 'pit-building' and I need to get myself out of it. Things I want to do, but can't; things I don't want to do, but have to... you know that feeling. It's oppression, right? UGH. I need to snap out of this and get some joy in my life. The sad part is, I don't know how anymore.
Hubby doesn't have Bible study for the summer, but he and his friend are going out for breakfast. He asked me last night if it bothered me that hew as going out for breakfast. It was a weird question. He goes out with his friends almost every week at least one breakfast or lunch. He has another breakfast on Thursday, I think it is. No, I don't care.... it's unfair he gets to enjoy his friends' company and eat out....and I have to keep working ... but I need to not go there. If I didn't work we would not have money for any extras so its a good thing. And I could not just sit at home day in and day out; nor could I afford to eat out frequently. I would find a part-time job to get me out of the house and give me play money. Or at least money to support my yarn habits. Or learn to sew again and start making things. And maybe catch up on some reading... I am so far behind... sigh. Ah - there I go, rambling again. What is that serenity prayer?
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Got a lot of things on my mind this morning. Praying for a granddaughter who made some bad choices and now has to face the consequences. Didn't call the doctor yesterday as I was busy, but I did discuss my headaches with my boss, who is a nurse. She sent me info which called them 'migraine aura'... which I already knew. I know some in my family who suffer greatly with migraines, but I have been healed of them for years so don't understand why they are hitting me again - and this time in a different way. Is it to wear me down? Perhaps. I'm rebuking the headaches and telling them to go away - we do have that authority, you know.
I John 5:14-15 (NKJV): "Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him."
This takes us back to the the ramblings I've done recently, doesn't it? Does God hear us when we pray? Does He answer the way we want Him to? Will He answer? What is His will, anyway? Is it that this person will live and that one die? Is His will that one will be sentenced harshly and one will be sentenced lightly? Is it fair? Is it right? Why do we have to suffer the consequences of our actions? What if we have learned something? God, are you even there to hear us? Do You look down on us and shake Your head? Or do You look down and laugh at our predicaments?
In spite of all my ramblings, all my questions, all my uncertainly, one thing I know.
Job 19:25-27 (NKJV): "For I know that my Redeemer lives, and He shall stand at last on the earth; and after my skin is destroyed, this I know: that in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another."
Yes, I know, that my Redeemer lives. No matter what I go through, He is with me in the darkest of valleys. He will once again take me to the mountaintop. When the way seems rough; when life is hard; He is always there, taking my hand, and walking with me.
He is always walking with you too. Don't push Him away; grab hold of His hand. It's the only way you can get through this life. You are never alone.
Blessings!
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