Yeah, it's Tuesday and I gotta go back to work. Why do I gotta? Cause I didn't take the day off, like many did. I think all those that I support will be working today. I did have to get on the computer for awhile yesterday as it was 'timecard Monday'. I had already approved all the timecards before I signed off on Friday, but wanted to confirm I hadn't missed any, so got online to do that - and also schedule a meeting that I saw One wanted me to do. All tht didn't take long.
Had a nice time at my daughter's and ate more than I had planned to, of course. They had bought my favorite Limon chips, and of course we had 'white girl salsa'. Lots of food. And I ate lots. Most went outside while my daughter and I cleaned up the dishes and put the leftovers away. A granddaughter got in the pool so after I finished I changed and got in the pool (still too cold for me even at 87 degrees!) with her. She talked and talked - LOL - and I heard about everything that has been going on with her this past month. I just listened. I told her how much I had been praying for her, and that Jesus is the only way for her to get her life put back together. She surprised me by agreeing, and said she has been praying day and night, not only about her situation, but about a situation with her brother, and also for her little baby. We aren't sure where the baby is right now and I think my son is going up north this week to see about getting him back and brought down here. I encouraged my granddaughter to come down here to live after this ordeal so that family could help her, but she has to make wiser choices than in the past. She said she is still thinking about it.
Sometimes God allows us to go deep in a journey of troubles, so that He can gently draw us to Him and we will be willing to seek Him.
Hubby had some issues going on yesterday and it seemed that he was snapping at me for everything. I am coming to the conclusion he is afraid. Not of me, but of things he is forgetting. He started on me before we left the house, so I'm not sure what that was about. On the way to the daughter's.... he asked if the way I have driven on Tuesdays at times was the fastest. I don't know if it is the fastest, but it has less lights. Then while we heading that way (with him driving, of course), he asked if he had to go the 'high road' (it's part of the road that goes up as it turns on Grand)... I was surprised, but just said, yes, we need to go over that and then as we came on the other side, reminded him it was the second light after that we turn on. Then he asked if he took the sharp turn or the angled turn. Yes, it concerns me; he has driven this way a few times, and he has ridden with me. Then when I changed to my swimsuit to get in the pool and came outside, he asked if I was going swimming. ??? I said yeah, I had my swimsuit on.... after we got home last night he explained his question... I had worn black shorts over and the botom of my swimsuit is black shorts so he thought I had left my shorts on. ??? Why would I get in the pool with my regular shorts on and change to a swimsuit top?? I just commented about the same and let it go. He was mad all evening becuase I rejected his comment. He knew he was in trouble ..LOL... he even sat next to me on the bench to eat lunch - veruss insisting he gets an end seat as he has in the past. That is a definite sign that something is going on.
Hubby is meeting a friend for breakfast this morning (the one who has the start of Alzheimers) so he will be gone for a couple hours this morning. Even though I have to work; looking forward to no interruptions. He still feels he has to stop at the doorway and tell me everything the does and just about everything he plans to do.
I think I need to start going to Goodwill and Savers to look for my books. I'm sitting here and look at the binding of a book I bought from Thriftbooks, probably for $4, and see that it has a 'Goodwill' sticker on the binding. I think when people give their books to Goodwill or Savers, if they don't sell within a certain timeframe, they must donate/sale to Thriftbooks, who then sells them. And I buy most of my books anymore from Thriftbooks. I could save some money I bet if I go to Goodwill or Savers first and look at what they have. Now that is a thought to kill a few hours of a day. I do love my books.
Psalm 56:4 (NKJV): "In God (I will praise His Word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?"
We've all heard the saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." And we all know that is a lie. Words DO hurt. Words DO cause pain. We may put up a front and pretend and even tell ourselves it doesn't matter to us, but it really does. When someone calls you a name; or if someone says something hateful to you, it hurts. And it can be your spouse, a child, a friend. It could be anyone to say it. We often get told we are 'too sensitive' - ever been told that? "You take things out of context, that may be what I said but not what I meant." Yeah - I've heard all that. But some words cut deep inside and kills, when we let it. I've gone to the bottom of the pit and fought my way out again many times, as you, my reader, knows. I tell way too much on here. But it is my 'therapy', if you will, to share some things and even to put them in 'print' in front of me... I'm able to clear my head and see how to respond to some things. Do you do that as well? And some things don't need to be said, nor do they need to be responded to. And as you know, I have done that as well.
My sister and I are still somewhat estranged, and it is on her end, not mine. I did delete the email she told me not to read and delete. Yes, I read it first (like, what was so bad that I couldn't read it?) It was her bringing up the past and blaming me for it. I pretended I hadn't read it, but I"m sure she knew I had... and since then she does not answer my calls, nor return them. We have very infrequently text'd a line or two. And I've sent an email with casual 'hope you are doing well'. I'm not playing the game anymore.
"God can't take you to your future if you continue to live in the past."
You learn from the past; you don't live there. I have a hoipe and a future - God's Word says so.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NKJV): "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart."
He gives us a future and a hope. It doesn't say anything about living in the psat. Things happen; we forgive and move on. Doesn't mean we forget, but it means that we give those things that we cannot change in the past to Jesus and let Him deal with any of the consequences. Our position is to look to the future and seek His face and allow Him to guide us in all that we do.
Can you even imagine the mess I'd be if I chose to live in the past? So grateful for Jesus, for His sacrifice for me, for His grace, for His forgiveness and for His love for me. There is no greater love.
He loves you with that love too. He died for you too. Are you living in the past? Isn't it about time you let that go and start living in the future God has for you? Something to think about.
Blessings!
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