If you don't want the real answer....

 then just don't ask - right? I woke up about 2:45AM this morning. Thinking I needed to go to the bathroom - I did so and came back to bed.  Could not go back to sleep.  Prayed for awhile.  3:15AM and I'm still awake, although sleepy, so when hubby started his flipflopping, I gave up and got up about 3:30AM and came in here.  I sit in here, lights off, door shut.... and I hear hubby up about 3:50AM, walking around (was he looking for me since I didn't have the light on?  I turn the light on so he knows where I am.  The footsteps pause, then I hear them going on down the hall.  Soon he comes in with my coffee and he asks... "why are you up so early?"  My response was ..."because I was awake."  He actually got angry!  "Well, you don't have to give me a smart-aleck answer!  I thought maybe I woke you up!"  I just looked at him and said "well, if you want that reason, I was trying to go back to sleep and your flip flopping did wake me up...."  He walked out of the room.

Now - I told him the truth. I woke up early, couldn't go back to sleep, so I got up.  It truly had nothing to do with him.... why does he try to make it about him?   Sigh.

By the way, I did get to enjoy my time alone yesterday.  (and I did my three small loads of laundry!)  And as he has been doing lately, he rushes in the door around 1-1:30PM and is flustered because "I have so much to do - and I just don't see how I can get the laundry done today!:  (wait until he sees I've already done mine - well, I'll get the usual "Why did you do that?  That is my job!")   Boundaries!  Other than calling his doctor's office, I have no idea on what was so critical about him getting back home and do nothing.  Yet, he has so much to do!  He comes and stands at my door to tell me about his Bible study; (only one more week left.  SIGH.  They break for the summer.  Then he tells me about our friend he has lunch with every week, what they ate for lunch/breakfast.... and that our friend, who has the beginning stages of Alzheimers... repeats himself or forgets what he is talking about that. (Heck, I do that all the time!)   And I try to be patient and listen to the same information and complaints he gave the week before, and the week before that.  Lord, please help me survive.  And I tell him again, "If Bill repeating himself each week bothers you, quit going to breakfast/lunch with him and spending 2 hours with him!"  Then he gets mad I would suggest that.  After all, he does get to go out to lunch with someone.

Luke 9:23-24 (NKJV):  "Then He said to them all, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it."

I think that scripture is pretty well self-explanatory, don't you?  Following Jesus isn't just being good and doing good things.  Following Jesus is hard.  Denying yourself doesn't mean not letting yourself eat good ice cream or candy or drink soda.  Well, not in this instance.  Denying yourself in this instance is giving up the things that you know are not Christ-centered, Christ-like, and instead making the determination to do what Christ would do.  You know the saying "What would Jesus do?"  That's a hard saying some times, isn't it?

I love the book "In His Steps" by Charles Sheldon - and I would recommend that book to anyone.  It can really change the way you think about things.  I still remember reading it as a teenager and how it changed the way I thought about things.  In fact, I have the very book I read.... this book was published in 1931... and it belonged to my mom and dad... as a gift from my Granny.  I hope, when I pass, that my children will go carefully through my books... I have about 6-8 of my dad's books he used for church... and they are also quite old.  I hold on to them, although I haven't read them, because they belonged to my dad.  I also have several papers/articles that he had kept for his messages when he preached.  Uh oh, thoughts are wandering....

It's Wednesday and I believe we will be going to the prayer meeting at church tonight.  I told our pastor that I'd bring him a key lime pie tonight.  I talked to my youngest son the other day... asked how he liked our church.... and I had to agree with his response.... "the music is too loud".  And it really is - it was so loud I cord barely make out the worship team saying the words.  I've complained before, and I know others have as well.  I understand why people leave churches because of the music.  There is no reason for it to be so loud my watch gives me a warning that I had reached 90 decibels and that 30 minutes at that level could damage my hearing.  Uh yeah.  We love the church; love the pastor; love the preaching..... but the music is so loud that hubby doesn't even wear his hearing aids on Sundays.  I try to ignore the loudness, but often look back at the sound booth with a 'look' (my 'southern look' doesn't work with them).  (who am I kidding, my 'southern look' doesn't work with anyone!"

Yesterday was a pretty quiet day for work.  I sat through three town hall meetings because I didn't have anything else going on.  I did move a few meetings and did schedule a few, but I also finished up a baby blanket and got my laundry done.  My day today will be about as busy, I imagine.  Maybe I'll clean off the bed in here and take a short nap.  You know that hubby will be 'suggesting' it a few times to me throughout the day because I got up 'so early'.  I know he thinks he is doing it because he cares about me - but I can't get through his head that I'm 73 years old and if I want a nap, I don't need him to tell me to take one!

Hubby will be 86 in a couple weeks.  I'm not sure what I'll do for his birthday.  At least he will get a lot of good thoughts from 'friends' on facebook.  In years past he would often tell me who says what and who wished him a happy birthday.  I hope he does get a lot of wishes.  I may take him out to dinner.... thinking I might find someplace for us to go for the weekend and call it his birthday present.  He keeps asking if we can get away for a 'retreat'.  Might be the perfect time and count it as his gift.  Or part of it; I always buy him something. 

Guess I've run out of things to share.... and can't think of a different way to end this today... I have time to read a bit before I have to turn on the work computer since I got an early start.  Maybe I'll get a second cup of coffee too.  Hope that you have a good day!

Blessings!