I have more to do than I thought!

 I decided to take a break yesterday morning while hubby was at his Bible study and start sorting through some of these Christmas gifts that are stacked everywhere... and I am a bit nervous.  I haven't bought and taken care of as much as I thought I had.  Yipes.  I've only a few people I am 'done' with buying for.  And I have many others that I haven't even started with yet!  I think as I go into the weekend I will finish sorting out by families and get a bigger picture of what I need to get done.  Good thing I can do a lot of this online for that saves me a lot of time.  But first, I need to work through ideas and get some thought of what to get for each one.  It's the thought, right?  Not the gift itself.  I have a lot to do though.

The wind is really blowing outside this morning and has blown the cover I put on the wind chimes off and it is banging some.  I woke with a headache yesterday - could it have been from the wind coming in and bringing all the 'stuff' with it?  It seems to always land on my right side of my sinus and just pound. Oh well, 'this too shall pass'.... my mama always said so.

What I will try to get started on today is listing everyone (again) and writing what I have bought by their name.  Then this evening I can jump online and finish filling up my cart with what else I need to get and get things ordered.  I am really trying hard to keep it down to just a couple gifts... but I may have to lump some things together for some.  And that's ok.  If I hear there is a need, I tend to try to help as much as I can.  Wants are totally different.

But my goodness!  The cost of things this year is so much higher!  So I feel like I'm spending more and getting less.  But I still try to get something that will be of some value to them.  Maybe, maybe not.  It's the thought, right?  

Hubby mentioned a few weeks ago he hopes to get another steering wheel cover like the one he got last year... it's starting to wear and fray in a couple spots.  It has a suede type cover and he really likes it.  He's also about through the last journal he has.  He does a lot of writing in the mornings.  My mind is blank right now and I can't think of anything else... gift cards that he can buy what he wants (i.e., visa cards) would be good too.  Just to give a few ideas for hubby.

I know, I'm much more difficult to buy for because I say I don't need anything.  And I really don't. As you get older, you realize the same about yourself.  I do a lot of shopping on Amazon for my books so those gift cards are always good.  I love pajamas... sizes 12-14.... I absolutely love fun socks to wear with my tennis shoes or boots.  Journals are always used.  Pretty stationary is nice.  Just a few ideas ...

I like the saying on my card this morning.... "May your joys be as deep as the ocean, your sorrows as light as its foam."

Isaiah 60:20:  "The Lord will be your light forever."

I'm sitting here thinking about that verse and how true it is.  When my path seems so dark and dreary, when life weighs me down, I can still see 'The Light' because I belong to Him.  When you have Jesus, you have all the Light you need to get you through each day.  As you know, from reading this blog, I go through some struggles a lot of times and I'm all over the place with them.  But I always come back to the One who loves me and gives me strength to go on.  If you could read between the lines and see the paragraphs that I delete sometimes, you would perhaps know the depths of my struggles at times.  The hurts that I receive from others and how I push them out of my mind and my heart, praying for those who struck the blows.  I know I share way more on here than I probably should, but this is my personal blog, in spite of the title of the blog.  

I don't share I do this very often, and I don't give out the information about my blog because I do tend to share my heart on here, and sometimes what is weighing me down in my mind.  I'm just like anyone else.  I get my feelings hurt.  Sometimes so badly I can barely breathe through the pain of it.  And the hard part is I must hold it in.  And then I take it to Jesus.  Oh the prayers that I have prayed for those who have hurt me!  It's not just any one person, there are quite a few, actually.  Some intentionally hurt by words, others by actions.  We all have people in our lives who say or do things that bother us, and when it bothers us, we hold it in, and then allow it to fester within.  I can't do that.  I can't allow it to fester.  I hold it within, but then I give it to Jesus. 

Why do I do that?  How can I do that?  Because of Isaiah 60:20 - "The Lord will be your light forever". I don't need to let things get to me... not even the 'concerns' of buying enough Christmas gifts.  It doesn't mean I love anyone less because they get less, or love anyone more because they get more.  It's because the Lord is my Light and He alone works in me to do His pleasure.  Someone may need a bit more 'loving'... others know they are loved.

And I'm rambling, aren't I?  Can you even follow my thinking in all this.  Ah... the time is getting away from me I see; perhaps that is the cause of my rambling?  Or is it my coffee has kicked in and my mind is all over the place?  LOL  I so wish I didn't have to keep an eye on the clock all the time.  Some day, Lord, some day.  I must be patient.  I am still working for a reason.  I may not know it; may not see it; may not like it.... but for now, I do what I must do. 

As we all do.  Some days are better than others; some days are worse.  One thing I have learned over all these years....  God is my refuge and my strength.  In Him I have all that I need.  And you do too.

Blessings!