You all know how much I loved my long hair. But once I made the decision, I followed through, and I do not regret it. It was on MY terms, not my being told to. I didn't tell hubby I was going to get it cut. He was busy all day yesterday and text'd me about 2:40PM he had just gotten home. "Where are you?" began the questions. "Oh, out and and about. I'll be home about 5PM" "What are you doing?" "Can I just say shopping?" "But Where are you?" "I'm busy, stop texting." "But where are you?" I gave up answering. I was sitting at the hairdressers. Question again... "Where are you?" I finally responded, "I'm busy, I'll be home soon." When I got home, I got chewed out because I wouldn't tell him specifically where I was. "I was worried something had happened." Sigh.
Then he noticed, and asked.... "Did you do something with your hair?" I said "Yes, I was getting it cut while you were demanding to know where I was. I wanted it to be a surprise." "I like it." Of course he does. It's shorter. But, that's ok. I like it too. Shoulder length, in layers. I've got to learn how to take care of it.... and it means using rollers or curling irons again if it is going to look like anything. But that's ok, I just have to allow more time for it. I will miss my long hair, but, I can't get over how much lighter it feels. Might stop some headaches too.
I was also able to get some things accomplished yesterday and it felt so good. No one understands how limited I am when hubby is home. Work limits too, but hubby constantly prevents me from getting things done. Seriously. I moved the grandchildren's pictures to the back room; I cleaned out a large portion of my closet and got a bag started for Savers, I replanted a cactus into another pot. I replanted an aloe plant that had outgrown its pot. I took the trash out. I enjoyed my day off so much!
And then I left the house around 11AM and went shopping. Finished up one of the grandsons. He asked for clothes and if a grandchild asks for that, you know they really need them. I also did a run by Sam's Club - and that's always dangerous, but I didn't pick up food as I knew I wasn't planning on going back home before heading to get my hair cut. I knew if hubby was there, it would be hard to get away without him, even shopping sometimes. Ended up at Walmart before heading over. Meant to hit Penney's and Kohl's as I have coupons.... but it didn't happen. And that's ok.
Today is going to be somewhat busy too. I have Needles of Hope this morning and Ms. Amy wants me to pick her up today and bring her to her 'condo' so she can pick up some winter clothes. And it has gotten warmer. If she gets someone from the assisted living place, she says she has to pay them, and they don't allow her to look for things; she has to go and get and leave. So I'm to pick her up around 1PM, and take her back when she is finished. She text'd me last night to turn the heat on before she came so that it would be warm. Hubby and I will run over before I go to Needles of Hope, turn the heat on, flush the toilets, and check things to make sure all is ok.
I've started reading a little book about 20 days of prayer.. it's called Reset by Bob Sorge. It's a good little book and I'm reading the daily things. One of the scriptures it hits on today is:
Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV): "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
I know I have quoted that scripture to you before. It was interesting how Bob Sorge used it in that we sometimes rehash daily the bad stuff we have done, or we moan over things we have said and what has happened to us. In reality, we need to confess our sins, make right what we can, and let them go. Some times in some things, I fail daily. But when I confess, it wipes it away. Yes, it may happen frequently at times, but when I confess, I can let it go - and then I am more conscious about it to where I can remind myself NOT to do something. That can pertain to a lot of things.
Some things we may do may be seem 'bad' to us..... but they may cause another person to look upon you with concern. Some things we may say and people may look at us with 'what?' in their eyes. We don't have to live up to others expectations of us, but we do need to live good lives, with our eyes set on Jesus and the examples He gave us on how to live. Life is hard sometimes and I often find it easier to give in to my moaning and groaning. (You've heard enough of it on here!) But there is also a lot of hurt and pain and moaning and groaning I don't write about. Sometimes I will hear His Word of "No, you don't need to share that .... you gave it to Me.... let it go, I'll take care of it."
Many, many years ago, I received a birthday card from a big brother who had written these words in the card. "We only know what we hear." Because a few states separated us, they couldn't 'see' what I was going on.... all they knew was what I shared. It was in that moment I realized that I had to 'cut the string' and quit sharing a lot of things that I was sharing. My life was separate from theirs. I had chosen a different life (which in my case, is a very good thing, although it has been very painful for me) and it was separate from theirs. I didn't need to whine and complain about how miserable I was. I needed to stop and look at my life differently.
I've learned that when I 'forget what is in the past' and keep my eyes on Jesus, and walk in His ways, that everything falls into place. Just like my wanting to retire and hubby refusing to 'let' me. God has me still working for a reason; whatever it is. Maybe we have something coming up and we will need my income for it. Maybe I need it so that I can keep busy rather than deal with hubby every single minute of every hour. Maybe I need to keep working to keep my sanity. All very good reasons, for sure. I will lose total control of my life if I wasn't working, so working is sometimes a good thing, and I need to quit whining about it. God will allow it to happen when His timing is right. He sees the big picture and I do not. I need to wait on His timing, and not make it in mine.
Sometimes that is just what we need to do in our life. Let go of the things we 'want', and let God take over and allow Him to give us what we want.... in His time. After all, many times the things we think we want, we no longer want when we do get them. They don't seem as important; we need to wait on God's timing. No matter how hard it is to wait.
Let's press on toward the goal to win the prize! And we do that one day at a time. Start today!
Blessings!
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