Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Life sometimes isn't fair....

I received an email this morning from Benefits. Seems I am over 65 and I have an HSA account - which according to new IRS regulations, I cannot have. Now mind you that because I took the high deductible insurance (because I am healthy, praise God) I pay a minimal amount but I have to pay for just about everything (including this last procedure). The HSA was handy in that some money was directed each payroll into that account for medical expenses. I have used it over the past several years, different companies. But now, the realization that I am over 65 AND am eligible for Medicare (which I only have A because it is mandated to sign up at age 65) causes me not to qualify for this benefit. So I am now told my deductions will stop. AND the additional benefit of having monies put in my account by my company also goes away. They gave me $750 earlier this year, and I was to get another $750 in July. Now they are taking back the $750 and I don't get any more. I can not change my medical insurance - I still have to keep the high deductible and pay for everything - but next year I can change my insurance and take on an HRA which means I can have money put in it, AND get the benefit of company monies put in it as well. I'm about ready to just sign up for Medicare B and just not take any insurance with the company. It really threw me for a loop this morning.

And yet, it is really no big deal. It was like a savings account that my money was diverted to in order to pay medical bills. We paid my husband's medical expenses as well as my own if the money was there. Now they are closing my HSA account, no more deductions, and they are taking the money that is there to reimburse themselves for what I have already been given. The plus side is that they say they won't make me pay back what I have already spent of the $750. Since I have only about $300 in the account right now, it's a good thing. But, also unfortunately, I have an automatic deduction taken out on the 3rd of each month which probably won't come out. Which means I'll get a phone call and have to pay myself. I think I need to re-evaluate some of the things I take advantage of that is covered under medical. At least this year. It wasn't a big deal if it came out of that account, but to take it out of my personal account, well, I don't need it that bad. I need to process it all.

But that was a very, not really stressful, but concerning morning. I almost feel punished because I'm old. And I don't even feel old.

So now I want to quit work. Which can't happen. Not yet, anyway. I don't have that luxury and yes, I resent it. I know, get over myself. It really doesn't seem fair. But Life Sometimes Isn't Fair.........

I've been sitting here this afternoon trying to think of something that I can do that I would enjoy doing, and where it would pay enough to pay the bills with. I've read stories of retired people sailing for the rest of their days.... but I'm not a good friend of boats - even cruise ships. Yes, I'm afraid. The one trip I went on was nice, and memorable, but I really don't want to do it again. I just want to live life again. To be happy again.

I must figure something out. I enjoy my current job, and love the people I work with, and my boss knows I want to leave in 6 1/2 years (as is her plan). But I don't even want to wait that long. I'm feeling restless. I asked hubby to find us a hotel up north for a few days next month. I just need to get away. I would love to go somewhere by myself and just stay a few days - but that won't ever happen. He pushed to find a place, but I hear in his voice it is more for him than it is for me. It's just the way it is.

Well, guess I have rambled on enough. I'm still processing the first paragraph. It has made me very tired and weary. It's no big deal, and yet, I want to cry. I guess because as much as I try to make things run smoothly, sometimes it just won't.

One thing I do know. God is still in control, and He will provide all I need - and He alone knows when I need it most.

Blessings!

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