I usually don't listen to the radio on my way in to work, but this morning I decided to turn it on. As the people were talking, they said something that made sense.
If someone has hurt you, or made you angry, or did something to you or someone you love, get even with them. How? By forgiving them.
Yeah, that doesn't make sense, does it? You hurt me, I should get to hurt you back. Isn't that what people do? You say something that offended me, so I'm going to say something offensive back to you. You did something that made me feel guilty, so I need to lash out at you and say something cruel so that my guilt doesn't feel so bad.
Oh trust me, that has been my year, I think. But, I learned a long time ago that even though I can't trust some people, I can forgive them. They can not control my life by the things they say or the things they do. I forgive them.
And by forgiving them, I not only get even, I get set free. The more I withhold forgiveness, the more in bondage I am to them. When I forgive them, they have nothing to hold on me. I am free.
Want to get even? Forgive them. Let it go. Love them.
I read in a book recently that when we don't like someone (because of behavior or things said, or whatever reason), we should ask God to bless them. And be sincere about it. Jesus said that we are to 'Bless.... see Matthew 5 below.... NLT version.
The Beatitudes
3 “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
4 God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
6 God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,[b]
for they will be satisfied.
7 God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.
9 God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.
10 God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
11 “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. 12 Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.
I am choosing to forgive, and I am choosing to bless. What about you?
Have a great day!
Blessings!
3 comments:
Stumbled upon your blog through stumble upon tonight. Very interesting read.
I just wanted to add to this that as much as forgiving someone else may set you free, it doesn't tend to be real freedom until the other person forgives you back. Know what I mean?
like, for example, the fight is a backyard with a chained dog, and you are the dog. As the dog you are chained up to the fight. Once you forgive the other person you are unchained....but the gate is still shut! You get stuck pacing the fenced in yard, trying to find a way out. You try going under the fence and over it, even chewing through it, but it doesn't work because the other person has efficiently trapped you there!
once trapped what is there to do but stew? So you get angry and hurt and more frustrated, regardless of how honest your forgiveness was because someone other than God is holding power over your head.
just like fighting forgiveness is a two way street! You cannot fight without someone and you cannot truly be free without both parties participating and MEANING what is said!
I have also been there a lot this year with some close people to me, and because of that I have suffered even though I have said sorry and meant it and the forgiveness that I gave. Things are still being held over my head, and though we have not spoken in almost a month I can still feel the lock on my freedom gate. Sadly my person holds onto every wrongdoing that anyone in my family does and uses it as an advantage to hurt whole branches of our family tree because they are unhappy with choices made outside of their decision point. Is your person like this too? I sure hope not because it is hell on earth to deal with, even with God by my side I find myself falling into depressions because of them.
thoughts and prayers to your family.
Dear Stumbler.... sometimes life is hard, and those that hurt you either don't realize how deeply they hurt you - or they just don't care for their focus is upon themselves. We are still called to forgive. Whether they admit they did anything wrong is irrelevant, although we would want them to acknowledge our pain at their hand. It does tear families apart and it hurts innocent parties deeply. Whole families break away. But even so, our part is to love, and to forgive, even if we aren't involved in it. God never said life would be easy, pain-free, or perfect. He said that we will have trouble. How you deal with that trouble is a reflection of who you are in Him. Praying for you, that you can find strength in the journey.
I think you misinterpreted what I was saying. I wasn't saying that people have to admit what they did, but that they have to honestly and openly forgive you for your own part. Without forgiveness we cannot be saved from self conflict and blame, just as how without forgiveness from God we cannot be saved from our sins.
when I personally have put myself out there and asked forgiveness and it is not given it is leaving me locked up. I am sure you have been through something where this is the case. A sibling or relative is hurtful and you fight. Once you finally back down and say sorry they refuse to forgive...you are left feeling empty and broken-a shell of your former self. You want to move on, but are in stagnant water. You blame yourself. You analyze everything you said. You wonder how you could have said it differently or more clearly. Sure you have freed yourself from the blame you feel for holding your anger at them, and maybe you feel free of the situation, but you are not free of the relationship trouble -the whole reason the argument started. Your freedom from asking forgiveness is short lived when they act like you are still doing wrong by trying to iron things out when they have not forgiven you. Actions and words are held over your head, and your attempted amends mean nothing.
that is the lack of freedom I am talking about. I hope that cleared up any confusion.
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