My sister watches Dr. Phil and the other day he had a woman there who had written the book, The Devil in Pew Number Seven. She wanted me to get the book and read it, as she also had ordered it. So I downloaded it on my Nook and have been reading it. I'm down to the last twenty pages or so, but I have been through a round of emotions as I have read this. Yes, tears, anger, fear, amazement - through it all. Without telling you the story - which is a true story - it is a story of forgiveness. I still find it difficult to believe such things happened in the 1970's and 80's. I wonder if this is an isolated true story - or are there others who endured the same.
This morning in my quiet time with God I pondered again what I had read in this story. Forgiveness versus unforgiveness. It is easy to say 'I forgive you' but it is harder to mean 'I forgive you with my heart and mind'. Jesus said we are to forgive 490 times. So, does that mean we put a mark down every time we forgive someone? We only have to forgive them 490 times and after that we don't have to? No, it means we are to be continually forgiving them. Sometimes that means every time the hurt comes back, the wrong comes to mind, we may need to verbally say "I forgive ____." Sometimes it may be every little bit, sometimes daily. Sometimes it may be just once a year. But we have to re-forgive every time it comes back.
So what happens in forgiveness when one is abused by their step-father and he denies (although caught in the act) doing anything when confronted by one step daughter, yet tells another step daughter he was wrong and asks for forgiveness? That is one I have had to deal with. I was abused by my step father. I buried a lot of my childhood memories so that I didn't have to remember. When I finally did remember through counseling, I wrote a letter and confronted my step father. He denied it all. Yet, I still needed to forgive him. And I still need to forgive him today. When he died, I felt no sadness, no loss. I attended the funeral to be with my mother, not to remember him. In the last ten years of my mother's life, we became very close and I knew she was so sorry for what had happened. It doesn't erase what did happen, but it makes forgiveness much easier.
It isn't only forgiving others, it is forgiving myself for things I have done and said to others. It is forgiving the boss who was so evil I nearly left my job over him. It is forgiving our children when they say things in their own pain, that hurt you. It is forgiving our spouses when they do or say things that hurt. Sometimes it is forgiving strangers for they things they have done. It is forgiving hatefulness, and rudeness, and just plain meanness. It's all out there in this world.
A world that God created and wanted it to be a paradise for us. But sin came in and changed all that. So God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, as a newborn baby, born in a manger - not as a king, but as King. How precious we are in His sight! How faithful He is to us and how glorious that He forgives us time and time again, each time that we fall, each time that we seek His face. In His mercy, He has forgiven me. And I choose to forgive others.
Jesus said that if we don't forgive others, we will not be forgiven. Read it - it is right after the Lord's Prayer in Matthew -
Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
13 And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.[c]
14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
I decided a long time ago that I was not going to allow unforgiveness of anyone keep me out of heaven! I wanted my sins to be forgiven, therefore, I needed to forgive others. God will take care of any punishment. By not forgiving them, I kept myself in punishment. I choose LIFE - and I pray that you do too.
Who do you need to forgive - howbeit reluctantly - today? Don't let the sin of unforgiveness keep you from being forgiven!
Blessings!
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