I told my hubby this morning I am so glad that God gave me the opportunity to retire in the coolest part of the year - it is cold out this morning and the thought of having to go out in the cold to go to a job - brrrr! I know I will be in it before too long anyway, but for now, it is nice staying in until it warms up (maybe) a little bit. I think the high is to be 54 today. Maybe I will just stay in! I just 'don't do cold' real well.
Got to visit for awhile with a girlfriend from work last night. It was fun catching up on things with her - and hear her tell me that I am really missed at the office! That is always good to hear. I commented a few times when I visited awhile back to 'make me an offer I can't refuse' - then I slap my head and think 'WHAT are you thinking?!!' LOL God gave me this wonderful opportunity and I want to go back? I really did not like the long drive to and from work. Lots of people on the road that don't know how to drive. And they probably think the same about me at times.
Being off work this past month has really been good for me. I feel I am more relaxed and pretty much rested - except I didn't sleep well last night. Had planned to go to the gym with Tom this morning, but I was awake at midnight, finally got up at 1AM, went back to bed at 2AM, was awake at 4AM - finally got up around 6AM I think. Dozing off and on while I was in bed didn't give me enough rest. I may need to take a nap this afternoon! Bummer! I don't know why I couldn't sleep - I was sleepy and tired when I went to bed. Am I getting too relaxed? I know we need to get back into our workout/walking routine. We did so well the first part of November and after that it seems like one thing after another kept us from it. I'm re-evaluating how to get my exercise in.
One of the things I thought about during my wakeful time was New Years Day. To set the scene for you to see, I am a woman who loves traditions, loves doing things with my family, loves being with my children and grandchildren. It brings me so much joy to just be near them. I wish I could be more often other than just birthdays and holidays. But, they have their lives to live and so do I. Perhaps that is what got me thinking about this.
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, we do get together some time throughout Christmas Day, when it is convenient for them. The boys usually come here and bring their families around lunch time. Later in the afternoon we all head over to the daughter's house. We all stay there until later that evening then again go our separate ways. New Years is another holiday we always got together. Well, I guess it was about 7 years ago when Tom wanted 'us' to spend New Years Day together and we didn't do anything but stayed home. I was so depressed and so sad. It wasn't what I wanted; I wanted to be with the grandchildren.
But this year it is different. I mean, I STILL want to be with my children and my grandchildren, but the grandchildren are older now and don't 'want' to just be with grandma. And that is ok. I need to let go. I need to let my children have their own precious memories made for their children. Of course that means that mom doesn't make the BBQ ribs and the coleslaw with the quarter in it. No black-eyed peas, which I am sure will break their heart. Most of my children and their spouses work - so this is a real holiday for them. True, I did most of the cooking and they just had to eat - but it is a day they could be relaxing at home instead of driving wherever we plan to meet (which this year could possibly be an entirely different place!) and then watch TV all afternoon - or, perhaps play scrabble. :-)
So - my dear children. As you read this, please give me your thoughts. What would you like to do? I don't think it will be possible at Mary's this year - and Stuart you have to drive so far - and Delnora would possibly appreciate an extra day at home just to relax before going back to work. Should I fix things here and make it 'come and go'? - which I am willing to do. Unfortunately, we don't have anything for the grandchildren to do here - no computers for them to play on. It can get boring for some. But, if everyone doesn't arrive at once, we could possibly keep peace by doing it in stages. Or, perhaps we need to just see if someone needs help that day and volunteer to help with what is needed. I can always fix a pot a chili to take to someone's house so we can continue helping in other areas.
Trying not to say too much and yet say enough. So, my children, please give me your thoughts. Since Tom does have me to himself most of the time now, it won't be like before. This is one of the things I was thinking about during my wakeful hours. It is my New Years gift to you. Some traditions are ok to stop, and to create new ones. This may be one of them - not to say that another year we may agree to get together for mom's BBQ ribs, coleslaw and black-eyed peas.
I love you all so much and love being with you. I pray blessings for each of you, especially in this coming year. Sounds like there may be changes happening. Whatever you do, wherever you go, remember always that I love you and am praying for each of you.
Waiting to hear from you before I go buy the ribs!
Blessings!
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