Another early morning!

and although I did try to go back to sleep when I got up at 3AM, I could not.  So I turned the light on here in my room and grabbed my Bible to start reading.  In Luke 15 is the story of the Prodigal Son.  I've always been drawn to that story, for I was a prodigal daughter for so long.  And I have my own prodigal sons that I pray for.  I'm like that Father, I think, peering out, praying for my sons to come back 'home' where they belong.  That's what our Heavenly Father does for each one of us who have strayed away.  We let the ways of the world entice us and put the world before our God.  And sometimes even before family.  I did that too, in some ways, I believe.  Perhaps that is why they also 'went away'.  I accept the blame.  God knows my heart for each of my children, my grandchildren, my great grandchildren.  He brought me back to Him; and I believe with all my heart that some day my children will also return to Him.

My devotion this morning was on desperation.  I've sat here and given it thought.  My desperation for God has kind of waned over the years.... it's hard to explain.  I've been praying for some time that God would increase my hunger for Him, that I would seek Him more diligently.  But this morning, as I have at times in the past, I prayed for desperation for Him.  That can be scary, for sure.  Desperation can come in all forms.  A sickness, a death, a tragedy, something that would drive one to their knees in desperation.  I don't want any of that to happen, but my heart longs for a deeper relationship with Jesus.  I have that hunger within me to 'know' Him more intimately.  I just need to carve out the time to focus on Him and take the time to dive deeper into His Word and knowing Him..

Have you ever felt a time of desperation, when you want something so badly you would do just about anything to get it?  I guess it is something like what addicts feel, don't you think?  But I want my addiction to be Jesus.  Can't never ever get enough of Him.

At our Bible study last night, one of the women mentioned she had a Bible that had the words of God in red in the Old Testament.  I had never heard of that!  She handed it over for me to see, and it's called the Sword Study Bible.  And, it was true!  I had never seen the word of God in the Old Testament in red.  It was really cool.  It was also in big print!  My immediate thought was that I would 'have to get one' and start my new year (2023) with a new Bible to read through.  (I'm going to be close in finishing this one before year end as I have gotten lax in my reading.  Going to need to take extra time to finish by December 31). I've been more diligent this year in that I'm also reading the study notes after I read each chapter to better understand what is being said.  And I underline a lot in pencil.  But, anyway, I decided that maybe I wouldn't get it, for I need to go through the Old Testament (as I usually do), and this time highlight the Words spoken by God so that I can hide His words in my heart better.  Make sense?  I am thinking that maybe I'd get one for hubby as he also seemed interested.  Christmas will be here before I'm ready and I need something special to get him, although I have bought him probably all the Bibles he owns.  

2 Timothy 2:15 (NKJV):  "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."

Hebrews 11:6 (NKJV):  "But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."

The word 'diligent' came to mind as I paused on what to write.  These two scriptures are just a couple of what I found as I looked the word 'diligent' up in Bible Gateway.  See how the words 'diligent, diligently' are applied?  

Diligent is actually an adjective.  It means steady, earnest, energetic and painstaking.   You are actively seeking, search, and longing, and wanting.  Have you ever felt that?  Something to think about.  And that is what I want to be - diligent about searching the Word of God so that I learn how to live life.  We all should be diligently seeking Him, don't you agree?

Although we had our Bible study last night, the 'mother' church is wanting us all to gather over at 'their place' (we are the 'daughter/sister church' - not sure what they call it) and discuss Chapter 8 together.  I don't want to go.  Then on November 18th, when all should be finished with this 10 week book, we are to go back and I hear there will be a great banquet for all who went through the book.  I don't want to go to that either.  I can't give you a reason 'why'.  I just don't want to go.  Is it because I didn't care for the book?  I don't know.  But hubby is on my case because 'how can you get to know people if you don't go to things?'  And I get that.  The women are also having their every other month luncheon on November 12th and I don't really want to go to that either, but hubby is pushing on me to attend.  Now I enjoy being with other people, I really do, but .. well, I just can't explain it.  But I need to suck it up and just sign up and go.  It won't hurt me.  I will meet people and will enjoy them.  Could it be I have just gotten lazy and encircled in my own world and don't want to include others?  Could be.... But guess I'll 'just do it'.  Maybe I should do it for hubby; he needs men friends that he can do things with.... and maybe it will get him out of the house more.  At least I have a life with work, but even with the Bible studies he does, he spends all his time doing his 'homework' or watching TV, unless he has a breakfast/lunch with someone - which is infrequent anymore, or his Bible study.  Like I have any room to talk.  My world is involved with work.

Had an eye doctor appointment yesterday and he confirmed the cataracts are getting a bit worse.  But, as long as I can see with brighter lights, I can wait to have them removed.  Maybe next year I will tell him to go ahead and remove them.  It isn't critical yet and doesn't affect anything.  Other than trying to thread a needle is next to impossible without a magnifying glass and lots of light.  

And, today, I have another massage scheduled.  I do enjoy them, and I need to have them monthly.... I have probably about 13-14 that I've paid for and let the months go by and they have built up.  I'm thinking if I go twice a month, I can get them used up.  A facial every once in awhile is good too.  I just don't enjoy those as much as I do a massage.  Need to jump online some time and get a few more scheduled. When I find someone I like and go to them a few times, it's frustrating when I try to schedule and they are totally booked out for a couple months or even worse, they leave!  And, like now, I'm having to find someone I really like the way they work.  And I don't like someone who talks!  I sometimes fall asleep while getting the massage - and I don't need someone talking to me and waking me up!  Today is another new person.  Hopefully they will work out.

I guess I've rambled on enough this morning so will hush.  My sneezing has started - seems about this time every morning I go through 3-4 sneezes and then it stops.  Maybe I'm allergic to work and my nose knows it's almost time?  Yeah.

Make today count.

Blessings!

Is it any wonder...

 that I woke up somewhat troubled in spirit this morning and as I read in one of my devotionals about a mother praying for her prodigal son, that I thought of my own?  These prayers touch my heart, and I found myself praying them for my own sons.  Oh that I could use words that would say what my heart says!  Then I read my son's blog and he is troubled over something that he did not name.  And my mind wonders about the 7 finger comment, but my heart prays that he will have clarity of mind and the answers that he seeks.  He seeks answers, Lord, and I ask that You reveal to him what to do in whatever this situation is.  Grant him the courage to do what is right.  Turn his thoughts to You, Lord, and help him find the answers he seeks.  Thank you, Jesus.

I am reminded of the Serenity Prayer:  God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  

The wind is blowing hard this morning.  I'm glad I took our metal star flag off the outside of the house a few days ago when the wind was blowing.  It doesn't blow off, but it bangs against the house when the wind is blowing hard and even in the back bedroom it can keep me awake - and has.  It would be flying all over the place today, from the sound of the wind.  I need to find another place for it that won't create banging with the winds.  LOL Reminds me of a song... (something) with the winds.... is it running with the wind?  ugh, mind isn't working this morning!

Today is Friday and I have much to get done this weekend.  Well, that I want to.  I need to get the message completed for the RV park - I speak on the 20th and then we are done for the season.  I need to still strip this bed that I slept in some this past week and get the sheets washed and put back on the bed.  My brother is thinking of coming out for a visit this fall and has asked that I find him an airbnb to rent for a few days while here.  I want to do some reading, some crocheting, and maybe even some baking and cooking.  And those are just my wants.  Who knows what hubby wants to do... he usually wants to drive somewhere... and I generally try to nix that.... but I have to come up with alternatives... which is usually watching a movie.

I bought hubby a headset at Christmas and he never tried to figure out how they worked.  I asked a couple people about it and it was finally decided that it needed an output optical cable or whatever it is called.  Told us where to get it.  It's been 3 weeks perhaps and hubby has made no effort to go get one.  I finally went on Amazon and figured it out and ordered it.  When hubby was gone earlier this week to one of this 'things', I took the opportunity to plug it in and tried out the headset.  It works!  He can hear the TV through the headset...... and if he hits the mute button on the TV..... I do not hear it at all and he can still hear his programs through the headset.  YAY!!!  Mission accomplished!  He won't even have to wear his hearing aids if he doesn't want to as he can adjust the volume on the headset.  But my wish has finally come true!  He can watch his type of shows, and I don't have to listen and be distracted; I can continue to read or do whatever I want to do - including watching a movie on my kindle with my plug in headset if I want!  I am a happy camper.  I mentioned to him the other night that I had fixed it for him.  He had to know how I did it... and yes, I commented that he didn't seem to be in any hurry to get the optical cord needed, so I ordered it, and put it together with the headset.  It works; I tried it out.  I had hoped he would use it yesterday, but he did not.  He doesn't realize how loud he has the TV in the afternoons when I am still trying to work.  I've gotten to where I just shut the bedroom door so I don't have to l isten to it.  It's usually Chicago PD ... around 2-2:30PM... and then his snoring starts shortly after.   I'll have to show him how to use the headset this weekend, maybe then he will use it.  And I will hear 'silence'.....

I'm drawing a blank about what to write so guess I'll close this off.  Hope that you have an amazing day and that clarity and understanding and wisdom to know what to do will guide your thoughts today.

Blessings!

Got through Monday!

 Yesterday was busy, and yet, not too bad for work.  I even took a 'lunch hour', albeit that I went to the pharmacy to pick up my 'drugs' for the upcoming oral surgery on March 3.  Wow.  Maybe I'm taking it too lightly.  It's a remove the roots of a tooth, add a bone graft (hmm, I wonder where that 'bone' will come from?), and insert a metal screw into my jaw.  Yes, it does sound painful, but I will be 'out cold' and won't feel it until afterwards.  Which brings me to these drugs.  I expected two perhaps, but I received 4 different ones!  One pill (literally just one pill!) to take one hour before the surgery.  Perhaps that is to calm me down?  Then there is a rinse.  Then there is an antibotic.  Then there is the pain killer.  That one surprised me.  I usually get hydrocodiene (or however it is spelled - vicadin).  But they gave me something much stronger.  NOW I think I will get concerned.  I love my insurance though - all these 4 prescriptions only cost $4.29 total.

We got a fun and yummy surprise yesterday.  One of our neighbors that moved in a few months ago -  we have only met twice, I think.  She came by in October, I think it was, and asked that we watch her house, pick up her mail, and gave us the keys to her house.  She then flew to Hawaii where she said she and her husband had a house and they wanted to pack it up and sell it.  They had just sold their house in California before that.  They had bought the house caddy-corner from us unseen (and had a lot of work to be done on it!) this summer.  They are still in Hawaii, packing up things and getting the house ready to sell.  It makes me wonder how big that house is!  She called the other day and wanted our address cause they wanted tos end us something.  It arrived yesterday - macadamia nut cookies of all kinds from Hawaii!  They are small cookies in the shape of pineapple - each a different ingredient - i.e., pineapple macadamia, coconut macadamia, chocolate chip macadamia, etc.  We both ate one last night.  These are small enough that I could eat 4-5 of them to equal one cookie I would normally eat!  But, am going to try to behave myself and limit myself to one whenever we get in it - and it's a big box too!  There was a note of how much they appreciated us watching their house and getting their mail (that which wasn't forwarded), and that they pray for us every day.  You don't get that very often.  The husband is either a retired pastor or they were missionaries, I think.  I forget.  Her sister, whom we have met as well, I think her husband is a pastor somewhere or was.  Anyway, they still don't know when they will be coming back to their home here.  We've never met the husband as he has been either working on the California house to sell or the Hawaii house to sell.  They want to settle in here.  I guess when we reach a certain age we need to gather everything together to keep track of it.  We really know nothing of this couple, but I am looking forward to seeing her again.  Perhaps I can gain a walking partner and get to walking again.  Perhaps I will finally have someone to do a Bible study with.

Which brings me to today.  February 1.  I have a friend who joined the Breast Cancer Challenge of walking 300,000 steps this month.  She posted something about it the other day, and it began to stir something within me when I used to walk a lot more than I do now.  I have gotten very lazy in my walking and challenges just haven't gotten me out there.  I know some of my 'excuses' are just excuses, but it really has stirred something in me and perhaps I can't do 10,000 steps a day right off the bat again, but perhaps I can do 7,000 a day.  I'm not sure how I can get it done - but I'm just going to try.  Do I dare sneak out while hubby is gone this morning and walk around the block to get perhaps a thousand steps in?  I do get 15 minute breaks ... I'll have to think about that.  Or I can just get on my treadmill in the garage.  It's cool enough in there that I can do that as well.

I can't wait to get my treadmill in the house.  And move the workout bench out of here.  It is just too crowded in here when I try to use my weights.  Well, on some of the exercises.  I'm getting rid of a couple pieces of furniture in the back room and when I get the rubber matting down to put under the treadmill, will get it moved in from the garage.  Then I'll move the workout bench to the back room.  I also bought a small 'rebounder' trampoline recently.  It's supposed to be good for the bones.  It has a bar to hold on to but I've left it off.  I tried to put it on and hubby was annoying me so much I just put it away.  I was having trouble getting the holes to line up for the screws and he kept trying to 'help'.  I wish he would just let me be and let me do what I want... if I can't do it, I will ASK for his help.... but he will get in my way and fuss at me because I'm not letting him help - when I don't want his help.  sigh.  Anyway, I do have dreams now of perhaps making that back room my exercise room (or as hubby tells others, OUR exercise room, although he doesn't use any of it), since we don't seem to find the 'time' to drive down to the rec center to do anything.  We should, it's mandatory we pay for it every year.  But they also have bowling and shuffleboard inside too - and a pool outside.  I think some of the rec centers (we have our choice of 8, I think), have an indoor pool.  Not that we use it.  I know, it's all me...

I read in Luke this morning, in my Bible, of the Prodigal Son.  I am sure you remember the story.  Two sons, the youngest asked the father for his inheritance, then took it and squandered it all.  When he had reached his lowest point, feeding swine and being so hungry he could have eaten the pods the swine ate, he went home to his father, willing to humble himself and ask to be made a servant.  But the part of the story that always warms my heart.... the father, every day, was looking and watching for his son.  Can you imagine him perhaps walking to a small hill where he could see all around, and spend hours there, waiting and watching for his child to come home.  I think as parents we do that too.  When one of our children moves out on their own, we are constantly alert to what need they may have, where they are, what they are doing.  It doesn't matter if they are old or young, our hearts are molded with theirs and a part of us is always with them.  

I have two sons.... no, they didn't ask for their inheritance (cause I'm spending it all) but they have been out on their own for many years.  For some of their teenage years, they turned to our Father and followed Him.  Then they turned away from Him.  And I still see our Father, standing and watching and waiting, for them to return to Him, to return Home.  They both have their own families now, and I'm sure that when a child is away, their hearts are with them.  They wait for their return, even if only for a visit.  Just for a moment, to know they are ok.  That's what moms and dads want.  And our Heavenly Father never pushes Himself on us, He is always waiting and watching for us to call out to Him, to seek Him, to want Him to be first.

Life is hard sometimes.  Many times we may feel we are in the swine pit, just getting by.  We can have so much more if we just return Home.  But it will never be forced on us to return.  Our Father is always waiting and watching for us to come home.  And when we do, He will celebrate our return with much joy and rejoicing.  He rejoices over us - can that not bring a smile to your heart?  He loves us so much, He rejoices over us. :-)

No prodigal is ever too far away from the love of the Father (or mother).  Why not just try talking things out with Him this morning?  Tell Him what's going on in your life and what you desire, what you need.  If nothing else, you will feel better, cause you will know that you shared life with Someone who loves you more than you can ever imagine.

Luke 15:17-24 (NIV)  "When he came to his senses, he said, 'how many of my father's hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death.  I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.' 

So he got up and went to his father.  But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.  The son said to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son."   

But the father said to his servants,  'Quick! Bring the best robe and put on him.  Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fatted calf and kill it.  Let's have a feast and celebrate.  For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'  So they began to celebrate."

And that's what we do when one of our children come home, we celebrate.  And that's what our Heavenly Father does when we return to Him.  All of heaven celebrates with Him.

Blessings!