It was a great time....

 I enjoyed hanging out with my youngest son yesterday.  And, we DID get nails and toes done!  (Thanks to the older brother who told the younger he needed to do it!!)  Surprisingly, the nail place was not busy - only a couple other people in there.  On a Saturday at noon!  I tried to talk my son into getting polish - but he resisted. LOL  He had to wait on me because I DID get polish!  Afterwards it was to Denny's for lunch - neither of us could decide where we wanted to go so just went there.  Now to talk my oldest son in to going with me another time!  (cough cough)

Today is Sunday and I will need to be getting ready for church soon.  Last Sunday our pastor spoke on 'Jailbreak' - which caught my attention with that title!  He talked about Peter being in prison and the church praying intently for him, and his chains fell off and an angel led him out of the prison - free!!  God does answer prayers. :-)

Busy working on our tax preparation.  Hubby has been working on 'his part' all week, but I started working on 'my part' last night.  Actually, I started earlier, going through statements and writing down things I knew we could claim.  I HAVE LOST THOSE PAPERS!!  But I still got started last night on what I have written down from my calendar (I write a lot of things on my calendar so that I can track.  I still need to look for the 'missing papers'... I had several pages written down to put on the spreadsheet.  I still need to go through my checking account statements, and all the receipts I have.  Needless to say, with all my rambling in this paragraph, I will be busy today after church, trying to pull it all together.  And in my mind I'm telling myself I will get more organized and will start recording everything from now on.  Right.  Don't we say that every year about this time?  First off, I'm going to look for those missing papers!  I have high hopes I can finish today - albeit it may take me 8 hours to get it all done - I am going to stick with it.  Crossing fingers I can!  We see our tax guy on Thursday so got to get this done.

Watching Jentezen Franklin this morning and they are doing baptizing this morning.  I keep wanting to turn it off so I can focus on my writing, but hearing these testimonies of how God has taken addictions and the things of this world out of people and how they are dedicating their lives to Jesus through baptism - it is too good to turn off.  I personally was baptized when I was 14 years old.  I don't remember much about it, but I do believe I was focused on God.  He was Whom I ran to during my struggles growing up.  He is Who kept me in the palm of His hand as I dealt with so much.  He revealed to me what was right and what was wrong, and I chose Him above the world.  Until.....  

The little things of the world crept in... and it only takes the door to open to fall down the stairs of the world.  But God wasn't done with me.  He drew me back into His fold and I have been willing to follow Him all the days of my life.  He brought me up from the depths of hell to live my life for Him.  And He can do that for you too!  Our God breaks addictions.  Our God sets our feet on solid ground.  Our God loves us so much that He will take our past away from us - and will not remember them any more - for as far as the east is from the west.  I am so grateful.  And when the devil brings your sins to mind and tries to bring you down, you can tell the devil where to go because you are a child of God!

Maybe you spoke against Him.  Maybe you turned your back on Him because He didn't answer your prayers.  I tell you what, He hasn't always answered my prayers either - many that I have shared in here.  But I cannot turn my back on the One who rescues me from the world.  He is the only One who loves me without condemnation.  He gives me Hope to keep living.  I have been in deep despair many times, and I will tell you, that without God to walk me through those times, I know He rescued me from myself.

And He will do that for you.  Won't you consider giving your life to Him and ask Him to come in to your heart?  He is right there with you, waiting for you to come to Him, ask for forgiveness, and He will set your feet on solid ground.  He loves you that much.   You can be the answer to many prayers.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Make it count.

Blessings!

Interesting words of description....

 In our last group study in this book we have been going through, it was asked that we have words of affirmation to share with each other.  I really struggled with words because several of these people I do not know very well at all as they came in to this group late.  But, I did manage to have a word for each one.  And then we didn't go around the room.  In fact, we didn't review that last day at all.  But, as our group got started, one of the women, whom I mentioned before who runs 20 rabbit trails before getting to what she wants to say.... did something.

She started with "I just want to do something...." and then went on to say but she knew she wouldn't have time, then this happened and that happened, and then she took the day off and realized she did have time.. yeah, you get it, right?  Anyway, she made bookmarks for each of us, and on the back of each book mark she wrote three words that she said came to her mind when she thought of each of us.  When she handed Tom his bookmark, I can't remember what two of the words were, but the first word was 'teachable', which I found interesting and wondered how he took it.  We haven't discussed it.  

When she started to hand me my bookmark, she had to tell the story that when she put a certain ribbon in my bookmark,  it ripped the end and she had to hurry and make me another one, and then she handed it to me after she read the words she wrote on the back which were the affirmations she felt God gave her for me.  Interesting.

Resilient - Loving - Compassionate.  The word that surprised me is Resilient.  I thought maybe the definition I had in my mind was wrong, so before I started this page, I looked it up in the dictionary, and no, I wasn't wrong.  It's standing up and not letting things knock you down.  It's standing firm in the midst of whatever comes at one.  Tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.  I had not ever thought I was resilient, but yes, I think that is a good word for me, don't you?  You have a lot from me over these years of this blog, so I ask you the question.... do you think I am resilient?  Loving and Compassionate, yes, I think I am that.  I love a lot of unlovable people as well as those who are easy to love.  My heart is touched in certain circumstances and I feel that I am compassionate.  But resilient was an interesting word to describe me.  

Towards the end of group we began to talk about baptism.  Everyone implied they were baptized at some point in their life.  Then our pastor's wife, who is in our study, mentioned that she had been baptized at 7 or 8 and feels she would like to be baptized again because she knows so much more now and has been through a lot of more now and it is more meaningful.  By the time the discussion was coming to a close, there were about 5 of us women and one of the men who were saying the same thing. Personally, I was baptized at age 14, but I don't remember much about it.  I didn't even have my own Bible until I graduated high school and was given one with my name engraved on it from the church as a graduation gift.  I don't think I have ever read it.  I never had that example to follow.  I was never taught to read the Bible.  It was a Bible; something to lay on a coffee table.  I made a real mess of my life, and although I know that I have received God's grace, covered in the blood of Jesus and forgiven, I've always wanted to be baptized again  Wash off the old and receive the new.  One time I asked one of our pastors about it and mentioned I'd like to be baptized again.... his comment to me was, "Naw, you're good.  You've been baptized once so you're good."  I was disappointed.  He had no idea what my life had been like before or after that baptism at age 14.  I rarely mentioned it after that.  But if our pastor's wife can do it, so can I!  Not sure when it would happen, but I understand they do them after service one Sunday a month - we've never seen it done so don't know if no one has stepped up to be baptized or what. Will see where it goes from here, but I hope they do it on a Sunday we are there, since we are heading into our preaching months.

Hubby surprised me last night by voicing in front of everyone a prayer request that is quite personal.  He had even instructed me not to share it with anyone.  I'm pretty sure I've alluded to something wrong, but never came out and said what the problem was.  But since he verbally shared his request, I can put it on here.  About 3 months or so ago he found that his PSA count had gone up about 2 points, I think it was.  Not only that, but his prostrate has swollen.  He has gone for cat scans, and MRIs.  He went to the doctor the other day and was told that it isn't cancerous (but could be pre-cancerous), and they found nothing in his bones or abdomen that would imply something was going on.  There is a shot he can take which will have some minor side effects, and it would reduce the swelling, but he opted out of the shot right now - because of the side effects.  He is to go back to the doctor in six months and have these tests again.  They want to see if the PSA goes up more or if there is still swelling, or more of it and will have to make the decision on getting the shot to reduce the swelling.  He is very much afraid of getting cancer and being sick.  He always has been.  Unfortunately, that fear comes out of him in disturbing ways sometimes... he gets angry easily (more so that before), he gets defensive about everything.  There are other things to, but some are just worse then they have been.   I try to understand his fear and get him to see that he is letting that fear control him, when he doesn't need to.  Not always successful.

I John 4:4 (NKJV):  "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."

I truly believe that Who lives inside of us is greater than the one who roams the world, seeking those whom he may devour.  When we have Jesus living in us, we have nothing to be afraid of.  I know that hubby knows that..... but he has been afraid of things for years.... he just hasn't been able to let go of that fear of losing me, losing family, getting sick, things going wrong... he has always had that fear, and it has also made family and friends back away from him at times.  He becomes possessive and has to hang on to things he values because he is so afraid of losing them.  It doesn't mean he doesn't love Jesus; but fear has gotten a foothold and until he relinquishes that fear, he will continue to be afraid and miserable.  He feels unloved and unwanted, I think.... based on all the questions he hits me with nearly daily.  Most time I have no answers.  He loves me being home and working, for then he can keep an eye on me, and he isn't alone.  But it's ok if he has something to do.  It's being home alone that he doesn't like.

We continue to pray that the swelling will go down as well as the PSA count.  No matter what, I trust in God and what His plans are.  Hubby doesn't understand why I don't act more concerned, but all I can tell him is that when I give it to God completely to take care of, I take my hands off the situation.  I can't make him well.  Only God can - whether through a miracle or through the doctors.  

When I do my part - and pray - then I leave it up to God to do His part - and His ways are so much better than mine.  It doesn't mean I stop praying.... I still pray for healing for hubby, for my prodigal children and grandchildren, for my job, my health, other things.... but I believe that when I ask God to take over, I am to take my fears and worries out of the request and trust Him for the outcome - no matter what it is.

I've lived too long in God's grace to allow fear to overwhelm me of the 'what ifs'.  I refuse to live in fear.

No matter what you are going through, or will go through, for everyone has something difficult to go through at some point - or many points  in their life - when you pray and give it to God, you must also trust Him for the outcome, no matter what.

It's when we cry "Lord, Help!" And then we wait for His answer.

Blessings!