Time feels like it is flying by - and yet - it is going at the same pace as it always has. We all know that, and yet, we talk about it 'flying by'. Especially when a holiday like Christmas is coming and we need to purchase gifts. I'm grateful I started early and other than the men in the my family, I am pretty much done. Men are always harder to buy for, but when I don't see them (especially the grandsons) frequently, I have no idea of what their wants or needs are. Especially if they are out of the house and working on their own - I imagine it is even as hard for their parents to know what to get them. I'm totally at a loss, and I do not like giving gift cards, but it may have to be an option.
I started my baking this weekend and got some things baked and in the freezer. I want to try some new things this year, and if I at least get started now and get them in the freezer, when I see people early in December that I may not see later, I can give them a 'gift' of whatever I have baked. They pretty much appreciate it. I always laugh because my boss always wants my bread, a jar of salsa, and if I make them, bread and butter pickles. I haven't the past couple of years so maybe I can surprise her this year. Last year I also made her a cheese ball because she does entertain towards Christmas and it helps give her something to set out. I love doing this and it is my love gift to others.
We had a quiet weekend. Hubby couldn't give blood; his iron level was down, I think for the first time. I think it was 12.6 or 12.8 and they raised the level for men. So he sat and ate snacks while he waited on me to finish. We both were surprised he couldn't give; it has happened to me a couple times. Guess it is because I eat a lot of chocolate? :-)
Today I am back at work and two of my bosses should be working. I noticed that I have 22 emails already this morning; hopefully they aren't for me to do a lot of work. I entertain the thought frequently of retiring.. and yet, what would I do that I can't do now? I know I am desperately needing some time out of this room - and alone with God. Yes, I am alone with God in here, but it is over the top cluttered now with things for Christmas all over the bed and stacked in the corner (had to take packages out to the garage as there wasn't enough room in here!, my weight bench, desk, chair, etc.... clutter! Maybe I will get a chance to take a break later this morning and take a short walk. I do need to run to the post office this morning.
I didn't sleep well last night and I'm not sure why. Other than yesterday afternoon and evening we watched movies and I crochet'd. Sitting. Rare movement. I don't know. Went to bed about 8:30PM and I was wide awake at 1PM. Hubby had left the bed to sleep in his chair; he has been doing that lately and finds he sleeps better in it. I think I tore the bed up - at least the bedcovers, with all my tossing and turning after that. I spent time praying, I said the Lord's Prayer, I tried to shut my mind to all other thoughts - and still could not sleep. I may have to sneak in a short nap this afternoon, but then, will I sleep tonight?
We watched a couple great messages yesterday. Dr. Mark Rutland spoke for Jentezen Franklin at Free Chapel. What an awesome message. And then CCV had a great message too. It was on 'Simplify'. Can you even imagine doing something to simplify your life? It isn't just about being a hoarder, or a saver, or keeper (one of which I am).... but what is most important to you? We've often heard the question - "if your house is on fire, what is the most valuable thing you will take with you out of the house?" Besides family.... what would it be? As I sit here and think about that question, I must admit I have no idea. Perhaps my cell phone as the case has all my personal information in it, i.e., drivers license, insurance, etc. But I don't know if I would grab anything. Do I have things that I have held on to for years? Oh you know I have! I have many treasures throughout the house that mean something to me. Many I have had to let go of for various reasons. I've learned not to hold on with a tight fist material things.
The pastor who spoke shared a story of working at a church where there were several pastors and one night the offices were broken in to. Looking at the video, two men ransacked all the other pastors' offices, taking electronic devices, moving things around, etc. Both men went into this pastor's office - and walked back out again. He said it was because he is a 'keeper' and his office was already in such a mess (although he knew where everything was), that when they walked in, they thought the other guy had already been in there - so nothing of his things were taken.
If someone broke into your room; into your house; would you notice if anything was missing? Would you find anything out of place? For me, it would depend what room they came in to! But it is something to think about, for sure. What am I keeping that I need to let go of. Someone may be needing the very thing I think I need to hold on to - in case someone needs it. I need to LET IT GO.
Sometimes it isn't material things we hold on to... but other things... those things that hurt us, destroy us, mess with us. Why do we hang on to emotions that make us feel bad? I sometimes fight with depression.... for various reasons.... and I have to literally fight my way out of it. I can't listen to the devil tell me how to live; what I need to feel; I have a right to be upset or angry; what are my rights?; I am of no value... If I listened to him and let him have a hold on my thinking, it will destroy me.
I choose life. I choose to live, in spite of the chaos of my life. I choose to live, in spite of things said or done to me. I choose to live, because Jesus died for me. Jesus took every sin away; He took my shame. He is Whom I choose to walk with daily, because He alone can help me get through life. And He will help you too. Struggling today? Ask for Jesus to help you. He's waiting for you to ask.
Choose Life; Choose Jesus.
No comments:
Post a Comment