it's been a rough week....

I have heard of people losing their pets and how sad it made them, but I had never truly understood their sorry until it happened to me. It has been, well, I can't really say a 'rough' week, it's just been a different week. I have found myself looking for Marley, wondering where she is, what she is doing.... she used to sit at my feet at the dinner table; now that spot is empty. At times she would sit on the futon with me when I did my quiet time; now that spot is empty. She laid next to my chair. She kept hubby company while I was at work. Her presence is certainly missing in our home.

It's been a different week, too, in that my boss has been on vacation all week doing the - what we called 'The Dad Tour' - as she and her husband were visiting both her dad and his dad this week back east. It's been quiet here at work, and with all the changes going on, that can be a good thing, and one that is uncertain. A couple positions were eliminated a week ago - in leadership - which is interesting. One, I'm not really sorry to see go for I did not feel he was a good leader. However, this other one is also my friend, and I will be sad when it is time for her to go.

Sometimes they say our health is reflected in things that are going on around us. I can understand that. With missing Marley, the changes here at work - well, I find I just want to be quiet more. I want to be alone more. I want to step back. Depression? Could be, somewhat. I recognize that. And that is acceptable, as long as I don't allow it to control me. I did allow myself to step back and just be quiet the other night. Hubby was at church, and when I came home to an empty house, I wanted it to be quiet. I didn't turn on the TV, nor radio. I sat in a chair and worked on a quilt for most of the evening. I just wanted to "be". And it was good.

I'm finding too that - but I do blame it on the cooler weather - I don't want to wake up in the mornings! Even though I go to sleep right away at my usual time, I find it very difficult to wake up to get ready for work. Many times I wish I could just sleep another hour or two. Tomorrow I will get to sleep a little later, but I do have a full day planned.

Last week at church I got "cornered" (seriously!!) that my adopted aunt's apartment is a total mess. Now mind you, when she lived in her house, I was over nearly every Saturday to clean and help her get things done. But since she moved to the independent living apartment, I had hoped she could keep a much much smaller place clean. I was wrong. Although I have gone to see her and taken her out to dinner, every couple weeks, I haven't gone to her apartment as she has met me at the door, and also wanted me to just leave her at the door when we returned. But last Sunday I was told her apartment was a mess. My first instinct was to mention that I am only "adopted"; she has a niece who will be inheriting everything, who lives barely a mile from her. Since when did cleaning the apartment become MY responsibility?

But I couldn't say that. I love my adopted aunt and I will happily go over and try to help her sort things out. She's 94 and she just finds it hard to let go of mail, of anything, actually. I am sure what I will find when I go over. But I will go over tomorrow morning. No, I haven't called her yet; I told hubby that we can go out for breakfast, then I will purchase a breakfast for my adopted aunt, and then call her to tell her I'm coming over. She can sit and eat while I work on bringing some type of order to the apartment.

Lord, help me to know what to dispose of and what she will need to keep! I don't mind helping her at all, I love this adopted aunt who loved me when we first came to that church and needed a friend. She, along with her siblings, loved on us and adopted us as niece and nephew over 30 years ago. I just find it interesting that her niece who will inherit everything - does nothing to help her. So sad.

Well, I need to get to work as it is another workday. Hope you have a great day!

Blessings!