i received a phone call this morning from my husband. That in of itself is not newsworthy. But he called to tell me some news. He called to let me know he had placed a call to our eye doctor this morning for an appointment - only to find out from the office he had died on December 13. We both are broken-hearted over this news. Besides the fact that neither of us knew of it before. We don't take the newspaper now - and I rarely checked the obits when we did take it. Dr. Gary told me in May when I was there that he had been diagnosed with throat cancer. He had had the surgery, the chemo, and thought he was doing much better. I guess he went for a check up in the fall and found it had spread throughout his body. He was only 62. I can hardly keep the tears from falling as I think of the 30 years we have gone to this man. My fondest memory of him is that he wore the best smelling cologne and I loved smelling it when I went for my yearly eye appointment. Dr. Gary was funny, smart, and very friendly. We had come to know him well over the 30 years we had gone to him. 30 years. It seems so long, and yet, it is already gone. We will miss him. I don't want to go back to that office, although there is someone there quite capable of seeing us. They don't take my vision insurance - but I went to Dr. Gary anyway and paid for it - so I can easily change. I'm just really sad - for his family - and for us.
It also makes me think again of my own life span. I will be 66 this year and the years ahead of me are fewer than those behind me. Will I have made a difference with others as Dr. Gary made with me? Have I lived my life with purpose - and have I made a difference.
Death does make one stop and think of these things.
Of one thing I have hope of - is that when my time comes, that I have made things right with everyone. That I don't die knowing I have not forgiven someone, or that I have not been forgiven. That I have made amends. Life is too short to hold grudges. Thinking of death makes one re-evaluate the importance of things. Some days I have actually prayed to die because I know where I am going - but also because the pain of what others do - or don't do - is too great. Eggshells break so easily and I'm tired of walking on them.
I think of my sweet Aunt Mae who will be 102 in March. She has lived life to the fullest. She has made a difference and is ready to go 'home'. I will miss her terribly, but at her age of 102, death is expected to happen. It's hard to think of someone younger than I am to be gone already.
Dr. Gary - thank you for being our eye doctor, for taking care of us for these past 30 years. Thank you for being a friend, and not just a doctor. I will miss you.
Shalom, my friend.
Make a difference with someone today. I plan to.
Blessings!
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