Respect - what do you do with it? Do you give it? Do you receive it?

There was a woman who moved to a small town. After being there a short time, she complained to her neighbor about the poor service she received at the local drugstore. She was hoping her new acquaintance would repeat her criticism to the store’s owner.

The next time the newcomer went to the drugstore, the druggist greeted her with a big smile, told her how happy he was to see her again, and said he hoped she liked their town. He also offered himself as a resource to the woman and her husband as they got settled. Then he took care of her order quickly and efficiently.

Later the woman reported the incredible change to her friend. “I suppose you told him how poor I thought the service was?” she declared.

“Well, no,” the neighbor said. “In fact – and I hope you don’t mind – I told him you were amazed at the way he had built up this small town drugstore, and that you thought it was one of the best-run drugstores you’d ever seen.”

That woman’s neighbor understood that people respond to respect. In fact, most people will do nearly anything for you if you treat them respectfully. And that means making it clear to them that their feelings are important, their preferences are respected, and their opinions valuable. It means giving them the benefit of the doubt. Or as poet-philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson put it, “Every man is entitled to be valued by his best moments.”

Where love focuses on giving to others, respect shows a willingness to receive from them. Respect acknowledges another person’s ability or potential to contribute. Listening to other people and putting their agenda ahead of your own reflect your respect for them and have the potential to make you and them more successful. According to a recent study by Teleometrics International reported in the Wall Street Journal, executives understand the power of respect. Among the sixteen thousand executives surveyed, the researchers concentrated on a group of high achievers. Within that group, all had positive attitudes about their subordinates, frequently sought their advice, regularly listened to their concerns, and treated them with respect.

If you have had the opportunity to work in many environments, and you have worked bot both types of people – those who have and those who have not shown you respect – you understand how motivational respect can be. And you also know that you are more easily influenced by people who treat you well.

I have both types of people here in my office. I have a director who is not respectful of others. She will send horrible emails in which she will say 'you will do this or there will be consequences'. No if, and, or but. When I worked in that department, I received that (along with the rest of the department) email and it wasn't directed at me personally, but at one person who wasn't working. This person is no longer here, but at that time she would watch videos on her computer, do her homework doing work hours, use the printer for personal business... in fact, I think I have written about her a couple years ago. Anyway, I forwarded that email to my current boss and told her that this type of email should not be going out - it was disrespectful.

Within minutes a second email came out from the director that said "if you were offended by my first email, too bad. I mean what I say". Nice. Disrespectful. We all knew who it was directed at, and yet, we all received the same email and felt the same beaten feeling. I was appalled that a director level person would send such an email.

Disrespect. Respect.

If you want people to respect you, then you need to treat other people with respect. You should never criticize to tear down to your level, but build up and encourage. The better they succeed, the better you look. Why? Because you are a part of their lives.

Sometimes we try to live life through our children, encouraging them to be successful and pushing them to excel in everything. Sometimes that is detrimental for that isn't where their heart is. And when you focus more on one than the other, it makes the other feel less important (providing you have more than one child). If that one child should fail, it could crush them beyond repair, for their disappointment is not in what happened, but that you were disappointed in them.

Then there are those we don't encourage to become anything at all. Why? Because we didn't know how to. We were never encouraged as a child, so how would that be a learned thing? Unfortunately that will pass on to generation after generation unless someone will step up and begin the art of encouraging others and teaching them to respect others. When you show others respect, you will receive it as well.

I think that is one of many reasons I love my boss. She is an amazing woman. She and I always encourage each other to succeed in different things, we build each other's ideas up, we present opportunities to succeed. I am who I am today because of the model she has given me in the professional world. I succeed because she shows me by example how to do my best. I often tell her my job is to make her look good. I don't want her to fail, therefore, all I do is to make her look good. And she acknowledges my efforts.

Choose today to acknowledge how someone does their job, choose to build up and not tear down. Choose to see yourself as someone who is to be respected.

Blessings!