17 Ways to be Happier..... really?

My former boss sent this little article out over a year ago and as I was going through some emails yesterday I came across it. Thought I would type it out for you - with a few minor changes here and there. The actual title was 17 Ways to be Happier at Work. Really? I would really like to comment that this boss is NOT friendly, she doesn't care about you, nor does she pretend to. She eludes she doesn't care about you, and she lords it over you that she is your boss. Seriously. Some of the emails our department received from the past could have been viewed as harrassment. They were so bad that I sent it to the VP. She said something to this director about the harshness of her note. So the director sent out a second email commenting "I heard some of you were offended by my first email. If you are afraid, you should be." Nothing was ever done. It wasn't directed at me so I just ignored it. I think I know who it was directed at - and that person is now long gone. Justifiably gone, meaning she wouldn't do her work and only did what she wanted to when she was here, prefering to do personal things on company time and company printers. But, gone, nevertheless. Anyway - the director sent this out. And now here it is with my minor changes.

17 Ways to be Happier (and I need to heed this more often)

1. Don't compare yourself to others.

Everybody, and I mean everybody, starts out in a different place and is headed on their own journey. You have NO idea where someone else's journey might lead them, so drawing comparisons is a complete waste of time. No one is better than anyone else. We all have our mountains, and the deep, dark, valley. Some more than others. Don't compare yourself and pretend you are better.

2. Never obsess over things you cannot control.

While it's often important to know about other things - like the economy, the markets that you sell to, the actions that others might take, your focus should remain on what you actually control, which is 1) your own thoughts and 2) your own actions. Look for the positive things to think about; choose your actions; mistakes can be costly.

3. Know and keep your personal limits and boundaries.

While your job might sometimes seem like the most important thing in your world, you're killing a part of yourself if you let work situations push you into places that violate your privacy and your integrity. Jobs are important; they pay the bills (ok, most of them). But don't let the job make you do something that you know is wrong. Keep alert and focused on what is right and good. Stand your ground. Don't take on more than you are able to.

4. Don't over commit yourself.

It's great to be enthusiastic and willing to go the 'extra mile', but making promises that you can not reasonably keep is simply a way to create failure and disappointment. This includes pushing your children to achieve more than they are truly able. Now I am all for encouraging your child to excel, but if they are struggling in something or show signs they aren't doing it because they want to but because you are pushing them into it, step back. Pushing them into commitment over their head when their heart isn't in it, is like you agreeing to complete all the projects your company comes up with and specific timeframes, knowing that you can't do it. Don't use all your strength for things that really do not matter.

5. Remember you get the same amount of time every day as everyone else.

you may feel you're short on time and that you need more of it, but the simple truth is that when the day started, you got your fair share: 24 hours. Nobody got any more than you did, so stop complaining. LOL I like this one. This is called get time management! Write down on a tablet all that you want to accomplish. Then determine how long it will take you to accomplish it - with interruptions. Determine the value of each item. For example, I always say one of the things on my agenda is cleaning closets, my desk, or organization. Well, it obviously is NOT a priority with me so I put it on the bottom of my list. Now if I choose to focus on some aspect of those tasks, I'm ahead and some day I just may be able to scratch that off my list. In fact, I did clean out SOME of my closet last week. Got rid of a lot of clothes. I just need to start letting go of other things. But for time management, determine what is most important and focus on that task first -then determine what is next in importance and work on it. Soon you will find that you accomplished a lot that day.

6. Don't take yourself so seriously; nobody else does.

The ability to laugh at your foibles (I looked that word up - it means weaknesses) not only makes you happier as a person, it makes you more powerful, more influential and more attractive to others. If you can't laugh at yourself, everyone else will be laughing behind your back. My boss is always laughing and sometimes I wonder why she is laughing, for whatever is being told her isn't really funny. But it is how she deals with things that come at her. She just kind of chuckles as they relate what is going on. Yes, she is serious in dealing with things, but when it is presented to her, there is nothing she can do at the moment. To defuse the situation, she just laughs - and everyone relaxes. So quit being so serious and uptight. It just irritates (me) people and makes you no fun to be around.

7. Daydream more rather than less.

The idea that daydreaming and working are mutually exclusive belongs back in the 20th century. It's when you let your thoughts wander that you are more likely to have the insights that will make you both unique and more competitive. I like being unique and competitive. :-)

8. Don't bother with hate; it's not worth the effort.

Hate is an emotional parasite that eats away at yoru energy and health. If something is wrong with the world and you can change it, take action. If you can't take action, you are better off to forgive and forget. Interesting. I was thinking about that word this morning. Hate. I refuse to 'hate' anyone. Again, as a wise woman once said, 'you can hate the behavior, but love the person'.

9. Make peace with your past lest it create your future.

Focusing on past mistakes or wrongs inflicted on you is exactly like driving a car while looking in the rear view mirror. You'll keep heading in the same direction until you collide with something solid. Don't live in the past. Fights happen. Hurts hurt. Offenses offend. "Let it go" and don't live there! You make not only yourself miserable, but everyone who is around you.

10. Don't try to "win" every argument.

Some battles aren't worth fighting, and many people are easier to handle when they think they've won the argument. What's important isn't "winning", but what you, and the other people involved, plan to do next. Enough said.

11. Remember that nobody is in charge of your happiness except you.

While some work environments are inherently difficult, if you're consistently miserable, it's your fault. You owe it to yourself and your coworkers to either find a job that makes you happy or make the best of the job you've got. Nobody is in charge of your happiness at home either. Your spouse, nor your children, have the responsibility to make you happy. You don't have to win every time to be happy. Sometimes you can be the happiest with there is peace in the household. Choose your battles, and choose to let the little things go and be happy.

12. Smile and laugh more frequently.

Contrary to popular belief, smiling and laughter are not the RESULT of being happy, they're part of a cycle that both creates and reinforces happiness. Find reasons to smile. Never, ever, suppress a laugh. Laugh Loud, Laugh Long. I try to laugh every day. At work it is easy to laugh. When I get home it is a lot harder. Find something that will make you not only chuckle, but laugh out loud, deep, and long. You will find you feel much better.

13. Don't waste precious energy on malice and gossip.

Before you tell a story about anyone else, or listen to such a story, ask yourself four questions: 1) Is it true? 2) Is it kind? 3) Is it necessary? and 4) Woudl I want somebody telling a similar story about me? Especially if it is about family, don't listen to gossip. This is family. You should always stand up for every member of your family. True, some things do need to get told to others, and that is ok. But gossiping about someone's choices or financial situations is NOT what you should be listening to unless the person involved is the one telling it about themselves. And don't repeat it!

14. Don't worry what others think about you; it's none of your business.

You can't mind read and you don't have everyone else wired into a lie detector. Truly, you really have NO IDEA what anyone is really thinking about you. It's a total wasate of time and energy to try. If you are living as you should - what do you care what they think.

15. Remember that however bad (or good) a situation is, it will inevitably change.

The nature of the physical universe is change. Nothing remains the same; everything is, as the gurus say, transitory. Whether you're celebrating or mourning or something in between, this, too, will pass. My Mother's favorite saying.... "Well, this too shall pass."

16. Trash everything in your work area that isn't useful or beautiful.

Think about it: you're going to spend about a third of your waking adult life at work. Why would you want to fill your work environment - and that part of your life - with objects that are useless and ugly. Hmmmm... think that can also apply to our homes. Why would you want ugly and useless things sitting around your house taking up valuable space. I keep saying I want to 'downsize' and declutter - I need to manage my time and just do it!

17. Believe that the best is yet to come, no matter what.

When my grandmother was widowed in her 70's she went back to college, traveled across Europe in youth hostels, and learned Japanese painting, among many other activities. The last thing she told me was: "You know, Geoffers, life begins at 90." Whenever I can truly retire, and do what I choose to do, I plan to do a lot of things as well. Right now I have to work to pay the bills, and my dreams can not come to reality. But some day, I know they can. I just have to be patient. Then again, God may not have MY plans on His agenda for me, and I may not do any. Then I hope to have something better - being with Him.

Ok - so here are your 17 steps to being happier. Why not take one each day and just ponder it and see how you can make your day better.

Blessings!