I did not sleep well last night. Lots of things on the mind, causing me to actually think about these things.... and it was hard to get up this morning. When things aren't exactly 'pleasant' at home when I leave, then it makes the day especially more difficult, unless I can put it out of my mind.
When I'm really busy - which I am nowadays - I can't think about anything else but work. So many details I have to follow, so many things I have to do. If I miss one, I get emails from corporate. Alas, this morning I have already received two. I read one of them, and decided the other could wait a little bit.
I did check online on Saturday to see what my work looked like, and it was do-able for a Monday morning. I got back on again around 8:30 last night to check on what I would face this morning and a coworker was online so we chatted a few minutes. I am getting bombarded with admits this morning. She told me about them last night, but I was not going to stay up another two hours to complete them. I wouldn't have known about them if I hadn't asked her anyway as she had not put them yet in my folder. Rationale? Perhaps.
This morning is another protein bar and strong cup of coffee morning. Just couldn't get moving at home fast enough to fix a shake for breakfast. I had thought about an egg sandwich, and could have fixed it here at work, but just don't want to bother. I feel like I am fighting a sea of heaviness this morning. Personal issues and business issues.
I received a challenge from a girlfriend this past weekend (along with several others) to find a book of the Bible for this month and stay in it; read it daily, ask the who what when where why questions, and meditate on it. Feed on it. Glean it. I started reading Colossians yesterday as my chosen book. I started on Chapter 3 today and couldn't get past the first couple sentences. Oh I read the entire chapter, but I have a feeling that is where I am going to be camping for awhile. I know what I want to do, but like Paul in his letters, my mind and body do things I don't want it to do. My attitude isn't always what it should be. My actions speak louder than my words do. I'm already feeling beaten up - but I choose not to be defeated.
No matter what LIFE throws at me, I will prevail. No matter how much pain I go through, physical, mental, or imagined, I choose to rise above it. Doesn't mean I won't be sad. Doesn't mean I won't grow weary. But I will choose JOY to live. I will rise about the heartaches, the frustrations, the disagreements, and all that other stuff, for that is all that it is. Stuff.
With God's help, I will prevail and be the child He created me to be. I have failed Him so many times; I have been defeated. I'm tired of it all. I don't want to live a defeated life. I choose to live my life to the fullest - in Him.
What are you going through today? Lots of bills? Disagreements with the spouse? Children driving you crazy?
Be thankful. It's all part of the journey. What are you doing about it to make it a better one? Sit back and think of a way to make it better. Pull yourself out of your mood, if it's not a good one, and do something good for another person. Say yes when you'd rather say no. Love them just the way they are. Only ONE is perfect, and that person is not you nor I.
Have a good day - it's time to get to work! Hope it isn't another 12 hour day.
Blessings!
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