That was my thought when I woke up this morning. It ended up being a quiet evening after dinner. I tried to read and couldn't keep my eyes open, so was in bed by 8:15PM. Even on a Friday night. I fell asleep within minutes of laying my head down. Hubby stayed up but I have no idea how long; I slept deep until about 11:37 (I looked at the clock) and had to get up for 'the walk'. Returning to bed, it took a few minutes to fall back to sleep (praying time), but I finally did. At 5AM my watch started buzzing about something. I turned it off. I laid there and tried to figure out what day it was. Was it a workday and I need to get up and get moving... what day is it? I was still somewhat puzzled over the day and got up, and soon realized it was Saturday and I didn't HAVE to get up... except I love my time alone in my room with God. He always starts my day off right. I think hubby got up about 20-30 minutes later and brought my coffee. (Yes, I made 'real' coffee and he remembered.) It's actually pretty good this morning.
So here it is, Saturday, and I'm sitting in my room enjoying my coffee (which is nearly all gone from the cup), and the quiet that pervades the room. I love the silence (well, minus the 'road traffic'), but I do enjoy soft music sometimes too. In fact, I have some instrumental music on a CD player I have in here.... need to get a new one; this CD player tends to skip on occasion. Must be at least 10 years old. Oh well. It still plays. Perhaps I should learn how to download songs on my phone.... except I don't want to run the battery down playing them. Oh yeah, I think I have iheart. I have heard of spotify, but don't use it. I'm really never where I need to 'play' music... Saturday.... and today I have my 'Needles of Hope' to attend in a few hours. Will need to stop after this and get dressed and put makeup on. Yeah, I don't want to scare the other women and go without it. It's a time to just hang out with other women and chat and crochet.
A story I read in my book this morning is one I have heard before. It's interesting how the story gets told a bit differently every time I hear it. But its message is the same. Don't wait for that 'special event' or that 'special day' to use or wear or do the things you long to do. I know, a message I should take to heart more. Here is a short paragraph of the story without their comments.....
"My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion."
I know I have touched on this subject a few times before over the years. I am a 'packrat' at heart, thanks to my mother who always saved everything, and probably her mother before her. I try not to hang on to things and I try to give away things frequently. But I still have way too much 'stuff'. And that's all it is. 'Stuff'. It's material things, and when I die, someone else is going to have to deal with my 'stuff' - and what will they do with it? Oh some pieces they will keep, I'm sure. But the majority of this 'stuff' I have managed to hang on to will be thrown away, given away, sold, or just left behind. I do not plan to 'take it with me'. And, as I have mentioned before, I certainly do not want my children to have to deal with any of my stuff (which is why I hope I'm not the first to go.... I need the opportunity to get rid of it). Hubby is more than willing to get rid of 'stuff' - as long as it is MY stuff. Which is why I hang on to even MORE stuff. Granted, I have 'stuff' in drawers I have never used, never plan to, have no idea when it could be used... and yet... there it sits in the drawer. And I have mentioned often that I want to go through drawers and closets... it's just hard to do when hubby is underfoot watching what I do. Heaven help me if he sees me get rid of anything he remembers giving me!! LOL But it is all just stuff.
But, back to the story. How many times do we hold on to things that have a special memory, a special value to us, and then never use them. It's like putting them in a glass case for all to see... and it is never valued enough to use. When I read this story years ago, I started digging out my fine china (which is valuable, by the way; it belonged to hubby's parents) and used it for every day. So what if it gets chipped or broken. It's just a dish. It has no value to any of my children and none have expressed an interest in wanting it. No one needs these dishes of fine china. So I use them when we have company and I use them occasionally for just hubby and I. I've learned to let go of material things. Yes, there are still some things I hold dear, but only because I want someone to say, "I remember that and I'd like to have it when you are finished with it." I would probably (if not using it on a regular basis), just tell them to take it! I have way more dishes than I need, glasses I never use (we are still using juice glasses we got 40+ years ago!!) and I still get more if I want them... cause I love pretty things. I love pretty dishes; I love pretty glasses to drink out of.... and don't get me started on my teacups and teapots! Of course there is also my books..... some day I hope to put them in author order.... hubby just will not let me touch any of the books to put in any order... "IT IS MY OFFICE!!" Not worth the fight. He doesn't get it - we have 2 of several books because we forget we have them - or can't find them on the bookshelves... so order another because one of us wants to read it. But he won't let me touch them while he is home. Can I send him away for a few days? But then, I'd want to play and not work. Oh well.
I'm going to challenge you today to sit back and think about the things you have. What are things that you hold on to for 'that rainy day'? What dishes are packed away because you have no place to display them - and they aren't getting used because they are not every day dishes, but special dishes? What dishtowels are too pretty to use? What items have someone given to you as gifts or as a memory of someone else that you hang on to because you want the memory - and yet it is never being used. Don't you think that the person who gave it to you - gave it to you to use? To enjoy?
Use that special cologne that was given to you! (providing it smells good on you, that is) Wear that special shirt that holds a memory for you. Read that book that brought you so much joy the first time you read it. Determine within yourself to SHARE the memory of what it is you are holding on to (we all have dustcatchers, don't we?!) and then enjoy it. If it breaks, hang on to that memory. It's ok. Nothing is built to last longer than it's lifetime. Not even us.
Death comes upon us many times unexpectedly. Do you have things hidden that you really don't want others to see (I do, sigh), and need to let go of? Sometimes (I) we need to get over someone looking over our shoulder, or thinking we just don't have time to do that - and just do it. Right? Today may not be the day to start, but start planning even 15 minutes a day to start going through those things, those papers, you know you need to throw away... or pack away and label.... or pass on to a loved one. Sometimes it is hard to decide whom to give to, isn't it? I have that problem as well. None of my family ever express they 'want' something I have.... I think they are afraid they will just end up with it! LOL.
And with that.... I think I am going to close this off. Got to get my makeup and clothes on before I head out the door... it wouldn't be pretty otherwise. Maybe, just maybe, when I get back, I will 'do' something. will see.
Blessings!
