Hubby came in after I wrote my blog yesterday and promised that today he would use the walking stick, and tomorrow he would put the cane together and use it. Like it would take more than 30 seconds to snap it together. He drives me crazy. So after our doctor appointments (more on that below), we came home and he did, in fact, snap the cane together. He did carry (yes, I said carry, and I called him out on it) his walking stick to the doctor's office. He said he prayed about it yesterday morning and felt he needed to do as I asked. (Really?) We discussed him using the cane, and I told him if he is walking a short distance, of course he doesn't need to use the cane, but even when he goes to breakfast on Friday mornings, from the parking lot to the restaurant, yes, he should have the cane in his hand for he doesn't know if he will stumble (like Chuck did!) and fall. He agreed. But then, I won't be there to see..... I think that once he starts using it, he will forget his 'embarrassment' of needing the cane and it will be automatic. It's just something new and he doesn't want to admit he is 89 years old and that means getting old. I get it. I just hope my pride doesn't get in my way when my time comes.
Our doctor visits. As mentioned, mine was just to check my thyroid levels. I already knew my TSH and T4 were in the red. I wasn't really prepared for Dr. Mark's comment of "I don't have an answer as to why your numbers are up. On March 30th, they were normal." So I confessed. I have been taking a drug that is unapproved by the FDA or whomever, and another drug.... one to help with clarity of mind, and the other with weight loss. He hadn't heard of either one. OOPS. I shared what I knew about them. Yes, I have researched both and was able to share. He offered to refer me to an endocrinologist but I declined. I stated then that I would stop both drugs immediately. It isn't that important for me to take them. He said it was my choice, but if I wanted to do a GLP, he would refer me to an endocrinologist to get as he doesn't make that call. I declined. So - for me, I have a script to get a new TSH and T4, plus my lipids, taken in 8 weeks and then come back to him. He wants to see if they are back to normal. If they are, we will schedule my physical. If not, he will have to refer me to someone for he says the GLP may raise the T4, but the TSH should go down - both of mine are high. And, it is either a pituitary gland tumor (as that is the only thing he thought would raise both out of range) or the drug I was taking. I'm leaning towards the drug. So - in eight weeks I will go get more blood work done and things will be back to normal. He didn't get after me as I expected. It was my choice to do it , and my choice to stop. Lesson learned I guess.
For hubby's doctor visit - it was his physical. As they do his blood work there (my insurance won't pay for labcorp, only SQL, so I go to SQL for my bloodwork) we don't know what his numbers are. But, he did 'confess' he also was doing the same thing I was. (of course he was, can I do anything without him doing it as well?) Dr. Mark didn't get upset with him, but told him he was NOT to take anything like that - EVER. He is on a lot more drugs than I am and the interactions with his drugs could be drastic. Will see what his blood work says - we go back July 15th for those results. The cane was discussed and I told Dr. Mark that he does fall and he refuses to use a cane. LOL Dr. Mark told him to get a walker if he didn't want to fall. Cracked me up. Of course hubby got bent out of shape with that and has agreed to use the cane. He also shared he has the 'help me I've fallen' button, but only carries it when I'm not home. I still need to get another key made and put outside and let my boys know where it is in case he just falls and isn't hurt, but can't get up. If he's hurt, he needs 911 and they have a key to unlock the key by the door. Overall, we will know more about his health when we go back in two weeks, but blood pressure (128/62) was good and heart and blood flow are showed good.
So there you have it. We will both be living a while yet. :-) Yes, that is a good thing. I just wish they had something for his brain, if you know what I mean. Sigh.
Oh - one thing that Dr. Mark DID say.... as he was going through hubby's prescriptions... it's funny, really... he had a bottle of Beetroot (yes, I bought it and gave to him) and asked him why he was taking it. So I gave the information, the cholesterol pills remove the cholesterol, but I had read there is still a film inside the arteries (he looked at me like I was nuts) and beets supposedly clear that up. His question? So why not just eat more beets? Well, duh. I don't know! Anyway - Dr. Mark said that if we have to buy supplements to meet our dietary requirements, then why are we not eating better? It's better to change the diet than take supplements that generally do not have what they say they have in them. He shared there is a group that go randomly and buy prescription drugs or supplements and then test them to see if they have in them what they say they do - and most of the time they do not. So, guess I will buy more beets! Good thing we both like them! In fact, we stopped at Wildflower for lunch on the way home and both of us got the Citrus Beet salad - (it was so good!!) with chicken. I guess I need to start fixing more healthy foods.
With all these sweet peppers I still have (I took 3 bags to the doctor's office; they were glad to get them), we need to eat more of them, even as snacks. I ate two tomatoes for dinner last night; I still wasn't hungry from eating that salad, of which I still couldn't eat all of it. I need to start cutting up. I bought one of those mason jar sealer things and will dig out my large mason jars and start putting them in for sealing them is to help them last longer in the refrigerator. That's always been my problem, I buy the good stuff and then we don't eat it fast enough and it wilts or rots - a carton of strawberries is molding in less than a week. So I may not get to it today, but with being off tomorrow (July 3rd) I can perhaps get some done. Need to go buy some more jars as well. I have a mason jar sealer for 'someone' if he wants it, since I seem to dump veggies on him occasionally.... just saying. I need to try mine first, I guess.
I'm back to work today and I'm sure it will be a 'light' day. Maybe I'll actually get the minutes completed. I need to get focused and get these things done and quit procrastinating. Perhaps I'm just bored? I'd really love REAL work to do, if you know what I mean. Sue doesn't give me much to do, Brett's gone, Anita is on PTO, and Kynda just gives meetings occasionally. I'm actually hoping that when Sue retires they will offer me retirement; they don't need me. But, I'm sure that I will be given others who WILL give me work to do! I need to keep my mind active. My big brother is always telling me to learn something every day. Well, I'm lazy, and haven't. Although I did finish another book last night - which brings me to 25 of the 50 books I made as goal. So 25 more to go by the end of the year. So my timing is about right - 6 months are gone, 6 months to go!
I was reading today about how hard it is to forgive ourselves for things we have done. Say we did something to someone that hurt them, and we go and apologize, and they forgive us. We ask God to forgive us, and He does. But the problem remains, do we forgive ourselves? If we find we cannot forgive ourselves, (we may never forget, but forgiveness is something else) we make ourselves miserable. Christ died for us. He took all our sins to the cross and they were nailed there. Why do we want to pick up our sins and put them back on ourselves and beat ourselves up? God says that 'He remembers our sins no more" once we confess them to us. He forgives us. So grateful. So very grateful.
Like you, I remember my sins, but I cannot wallow in them, for I have confessed them, and I have made amends where I can, and I have God's forgiveness. My remembrance is to teach me not to do it again. It isn't to continuously make me feel guilty, or shame me. I have been forgiven by the One who loves me unconditionally. I am forgiven; my sins are forgotten. I don't have to beat myself up by them.
Are you the hardest person for you to forgive? Do you feel like you've blown it and your life can never be quite the same? That's a lie.
Your sin does not define you. God's love is bigger than your worst mistake. Jesus paid the cost and took the guilt of your sin.
There is no condemnation left for you. God still has a great plan for your life.
It's time to stop hating the enemy you've made yourself into. It's time to stop repaying yourself evil for evil. It's time to forgive yourself so that you can be free.
Let go and let God.
Have an amazing day!
Blessings!
(words in blue from Restore by Vince Antonucci.
