Today I just didn't want to wake up.

 So when I woke up at 3:15a, I tried to go back to sleep for several minutes, and could not. So I got up and came in here.  Did some reading, did my prayer, then snuggled down in my chair and slept until hubby got up about 5-ish and brought my coffee in.  And I still wanted to sleep.  So about 5:30-ish I snuggled down again and... next thing I knew, the landscapers were blowing the dirt outside in the courtyard (trees are not shedding now so why ae they blowing hot air all around?).  I still wanted to sleep, but I think I'm waking up now. Good thing. It's almost time to start work!  In fact, I may have to finish this on the work computer - but will see.  I do type kind of fast.  Which is why I still make mistakes when I type.  "I can remember when, back in 1983, I took a typing 'test' to see how fast I could type.  Seriously.  I don't know if they do it now, but back in 'my day', to prove how fast you could type - without errors - they gave you something to type and timed you.  You had only so many minutes to complete that task.  My results that I remember so well?  I remember, I was proud of myself.  I've always typed fast and I love to type.  Oh - my score?  I had.... drum roll, please.......  91 words a minute with two errors.   It may mean nothing now, and I guarantee you that I do not (probably) type that fast - and I do make a lot more errors.  Oh - and back then - it was on those gadgets you called TYPEWRITERS.   Remember those?

In high school I did one year (Typing I) on a manual typewriter. (yes, I'm old).  My second year I took (Typing II) on an electric typewriter.  THAT was hard to get used to.  Didn't go to computers until I was with Peachtree Fabrics - and that was in the 70's.  I was the first computer operator and the computers took up my entire office they were so huge!  The back-up discs were bigger than the roombas being used now to sweep floors - but the same style.  I had to learn from scratch how to be a 'computer operator' and I did it all.  I ran the computer, put the information in, backed it up every night and put the discs in the safe.  I loved that job.  I don't know when it closed down, but it is no longer there.  I've googled about it, but nothing is ever there that it even existed.  Interesting. I spent 7 years at that company, was the computer operator, bookkeeper, credit manager, did payroll, kept the books, raced with the CPA on using the 10-key calculator (and I often beat him, I was so fast!!) and kept all the books for the company.  So with it being gone, I know that if I hadn't left, I would be working elsewhere now.  Perhaps it was a 'God thing?'

Yeah - I'm going to have to finish this on the work computer.... hang on..... and I'm back!

I'm on the work computer, I paused and watered my plants outside, and here I am again. Aren't you the lucky one?  HAH.

And here I sit with blank thoughts of what should I write about today....

I heard from all three of my children yesterday.  Sorta all three.  My daughter called on the way back from her 2nd opinion podiatrist who did more x-rays - and showed her where her middle toe was broken, as was the top of her foot. Which, of course, was causing the burning, the redness, and the foot being swollen.  She has gone 2-3 times over the past 4 months to another podiatrist (who at the last visit put her in a boot last week), the hospital, and her medical doctor, I think.  No one could find what was wrong.  This 2nd opinion podiatrist says, oblique and lateral weightbearing views of the left foot demonstrate 2 intra-articular fractures on the base of the ..... and other things 'significantly displaced, a small incomplete fracture... I'm not typing it all.  In other words, she has broken bones in her foot, tendons that are tearing away.  Oh - and the PT they had been sending her to was cancelled.  Why?  Because the exercises were weightbearing on the damaged foot!  Obviously, she is going to switch to the 2nd opinion doctor who says she needs to be in a cast so that her foot can heal without further damage.  The hospital and the first podiatrist took x-rays as well - why did they not see the breakage?  I don't have answers.

Another call was from my oldest son who informed me of an IR meeting regarding his health and his paracentesis earlier - which was 10L removed.  He was in pretty good spirits and has dates for when things are to happen. Unfortunately, they also fall during the time hubby and I leave on vacation - which we both agree will be postponed if we are needed here.  But, it sounds like we are not needed, so until I am told otherwise, it is no problem to cancel our trip and reschedule - or move it out a couple days.  We're just going a few hours out to hopefully find some cooler weather for hubby.

It still amazes me how people complain about the heat - and they are indoors all day.  

Since I hadn't talked to him for a couple days, I called my youngest son to see how they were. Middle of the day.  He said he was laying down.  Ok.... said all was fine. Didn't appear to want to talk, so I let him go.  At least I know he is alive. :-)  He goes back and forth - sometimes he calls me every day - and like this week, he hasn't called at all.  Interesting. Wonder what really is going on?????

This week is nearly over already.  We have a 'Growth Track III' at church on Saturday morning that we plan to attend.  I forget what it is about - Revelation, I think.  Should be interesting as we have read several books on the end times and hubby is about finished with one called Revelation Revealed by Tim LaHaye.  Yeah, he's the one who did the big series on the end times. Can't think what they called it. I haven't read it. Yet.

Well, I think I got nothing this morning and I already have work I need to do.  Guess I'll close this off and move on.  At least you have something to read, right?

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Did I really win?

 Hubby came in after I wrote my blog yesterday and promised that today he would use the walking stick, and tomorrow he would put the cane together and use it.  Like it would take more than 30 seconds to snap it together.  He drives me crazy.  So after our doctor appointments (more on that below), we came home and he did, in fact, snap the cane together.  He did carry (yes, I said carry, and I called him out on it) his walking stick to the doctor's office.  He said he prayed about it yesterday morning and felt he needed to do as I asked. (Really?)  We discussed him using the cane, and I told him if he is walking a short distance, of course he doesn't need to use the cane, but even when he goes to breakfast on Friday mornings, from the parking lot to the restaurant, yes, he should have the cane in his hand for he doesn't know if he will stumble (like Chuck did!) and fall.  He agreed.  But then, I won't be there to see.....  I think that once he starts using it, he will forget his 'embarrassment' of needing the cane and it will be automatic.  It's just something new and he doesn't want to admit he is 89 years old and that means getting old.  I get it. I just hope my pride doesn't get in my way when my time comes.

Our doctor visits.  As mentioned, mine was just to check my thyroid levels.  I already knew my TSH and T4 were in the red.  I wasn't really prepared for Dr. Mark's comment of "I don't have an answer as to why your numbers are up.  On March 30th, they were normal."  So I confessed.  I have been taking a drug that is unapproved by the FDA or whomever, and another drug.... one to help with clarity of mind, and the other with weight loss.   He hadn't heard of either one.  OOPS.  I shared what I knew about them. Yes, I have researched both and was able to share.  He offered to refer me to an endocrinologist but I declined. I stated then that I would stop both drugs immediately.  It isn't that important for me to take them. He said it was my choice, but if I wanted to do a GLP, he would refer me to an endocrinologist to get as he doesn't make that call.  I declined.  So - for me, I have a script to get a new TSH and T4, plus my lipids, taken in 8 weeks and then come back to him.  He wants to see if they are back to normal. If they are, we will schedule my physical.  If not, he will have to refer me to someone for he says the GLP may raise the T4, but the TSH should go down - both of mine are high.  And, it is either a pituitary gland tumor  (as that is the only thing he thought would raise both out of range) or the drug I was taking. I'm leaning towards the drug.  So - in eight weeks I will go get more blood work done and things will be back to normal.  He didn't get after me as I expected.  It was my choice to do it , and my choice to stop.  Lesson learned I guess.

For hubby's doctor visit - it was his physical.  As they do his blood work there (my insurance won't pay for labcorp, only SQL, so I go to SQL for my bloodwork)  we don't know what his numbers are.  But, he did 'confess' he also was doing the same thing I was.  (of course he was, can I do anything without him doing it as well?)  Dr. Mark didn't get upset with him, but told him he was NOT to take anything like that - EVER.  He is on a lot more drugs than I am and the interactions with his drugs could be drastic. Will see what his blood work says - we go back July 15th for those results.  The cane was discussed and I told Dr. Mark that he does fall and he refuses to use a cane.  LOL Dr. Mark told him to get a walker if he didn't want to fall. Cracked me up. Of course hubby got bent out of shape with that and has agreed to use the cane.  He also shared he has the 'help me I've fallen' button, but only carries it when I'm not home.  I still need to get another key made and put outside and let my boys know where it is in case he just falls and isn't hurt, but can't get up.  If he's hurt, he needs 911 and they have a key to unlock the key by the door.   Overall, we will know more about his health when we go back in two weeks, but blood pressure (128/62) was good and heart and blood flow are showed good. 

So there you have it. We will both be living a while yet. :-)  Yes, that is a good thing.  I just wish they had something for his brain, if you know what I mean. Sigh.

Oh - one thing that Dr. Mark DID say....  as he was going through hubby's prescriptions... it's funny, really... he had a bottle of Beetroot (yes, I bought it and gave to him) and asked him why he was taking it.  So I gave the information, the cholesterol pills remove the cholesterol, but I had read there is still a film inside the arteries (he looked at me like I was nuts) and beets supposedly clear that up.  His question?  So why not just eat more beets?  Well, duh. I don't know!  Anyway - Dr. Mark said that if we have to buy supplements to meet our dietary requirements, then why are we not eating better?  It's better to change the diet than take supplements that generally do not have what they say they have in them. He shared there is a group that go randomly and buy prescription drugs or supplements and then test them to see if they have in them what they say they do - and most of the time they do not. So, guess I will buy more beets!  Good thing we both like them!  In fact, we stopped at Wildflower for lunch on the way home and both of us got the Citrus Beet salad - (it was so good!!) with chicken.  I guess I need to start fixing more healthy foods.  

With all these sweet peppers I still have (I took 3 bags to the doctor's office; they were glad to get them), we need to eat more of them, even as snacks.  I ate two tomatoes for dinner last night; I still wasn't hungry from eating that salad, of which I still couldn't eat all of it.  I need to start cutting up. I bought one of those mason jar sealer things and will dig out my large mason jars and start putting them in for sealing them is to help them last longer in the refrigerator.  That's always been my problem, I buy the good stuff and then we don't eat it fast enough and it wilts or rots - a carton of strawberries is molding in less than a week.  So I may not get to it today, but with being off tomorrow (July 3rd) I can perhaps get some done.  Need to go buy some more jars as well.  I have a mason jar sealer for 'someone' if he wants it, since I seem to dump veggies on him occasionally.... just saying.  I need to try mine first, I guess.

I'm back to work today and I'm sure it will be a 'light' day.  Maybe I'll actually get the minutes completed. I need to get focused and get these things done and quit procrastinating.  Perhaps I'm just bored?  I'd really love REAL work to do, if you know what I mean.  Sue doesn't give me much to do, Brett's gone, Anita is on PTO, and Kynda just gives meetings occasionally.  I'm actually hoping that when Sue retires they will offer me retirement; they don't need me.  But, I'm sure that I will be given others who WILL give me work to do!  I need to keep my mind active.  My big brother is always telling me to learn something every day.  Well, I'm lazy, and haven't. Although I did finish another book last night - which brings me to 25 of the 50 books I made as goal.  So 25 more to go by the end of the year. So my timing is about right - 6 months are gone, 6 months to go!

I was reading today about how hard it is to forgive ourselves for things we have done.  Say we did something to someone that hurt them, and we go and apologize, and they forgive us.  We ask God to forgive us, and He does.  But the problem remains, do we forgive ourselves?  If we find we cannot forgive ourselves, (we may never forget, but forgiveness is something else) we make ourselves miserable.  Christ died for us.  He took all our sins to the cross and they were nailed there.  Why do we want to pick up our sins and put them back on ourselves and beat ourselves up?  God says that 'He remembers our sins no more" once we confess them to us.  He forgives us. So grateful.  So very grateful. 

Like you, I remember my sins, but I cannot wallow in them, for I have confessed them, and I have made amends where I can, and I have God's forgiveness.  My remembrance is to teach me not to do it again. It isn't to continuously make me feel guilty, or shame me. I have been forgiven by the One who loves me unconditionally.  I am forgiven; my sins are forgotten.  I don't have to beat myself up by them.

Are you the hardest person for you to forgive? Do you feel like you've blown it and your life can never be quite the same? That's a lie.

Your sin does not define you. God's love is bigger than your worst mistake.  Jesus paid the cost and took the guilt of your sin. 

There is no condemnation left for you.  God still has a great plan for your life. 

It's time to stop hating the enemy you've made yourself into. It's time to stop repaying yourself evil for evil. It's time to forgive yourself so that you can be free.

Let go and let God. 

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

(words in blue from Restore by Vince Antonucci.

Well, that was a 'fail' day for dieting!

 Yesterday was a work day and I had plenty to do!  Still have plenty to do this morning when I get online. Job security, right?   I got what I could do in the morning before hubby said it was time to head to his cardiologist's office for the appointment.  It was 10:30AM. He said that his appointment was 11:30AM - and he was to get there 15 minutes early.  We were there at 11AM.  He signed in and we sat. And sat. And sat.  11:30AM came and went.  I'm getting anxious because, after all, I have taken time off work to take him to his appointment.  At 11:55AM, I suggested he go remind the 'girls' that he is still waiting to get in.  They tell him his appointment was at 11:50AM, not 11:30AM.  I wasn't at the last appointment; I don't know what time it was, but everywhere I have written down 11:30AM.  Finally at 12:15PM - they call us back.  We sit in the room until 12:45PM before the doctor comes in.  First time meeting him (for me). He kept apologizing for the delay in his getting in the room.  He apologized for taking so long inputting information into the computer.  They had a new computer system called Epic and they have to input everything in individually until all the information is in.  Which made me wonder..... when they inputted the appointments in, did someone accidentally put hubby's appointment as 11:50AM instead of 11:30AM.  Anyway - the doctor was nice, very thorough, although he didn't even do a heart check.  He did all the computer stuff; told hubby he had a 'dilated aorta' and needed another ECHO, which could be done in the office next month, and then would need a follow-up visit.  Interesting, hubby has never mentioned (that I recall) a dilated aorta.  So there's that now.  Appointment in March.

From there we hurried home so I could get back to work.  I had put the roast on earlier so it was done when we got home - and oh it was so good. Yes, I fixed myself some of the roast and potatoes/carrots/onions and enjoyed it.  I was too full, actually, but that was ok.  I wasn't planning on a big dinner - but my daughter had other plans.  But first, I had a session with Morgan.  I am 'feeling' that session (and the one from Monday) this morning.

My daughter did call and wanted us to meet up as they will be moving next week.  We went to Freddy's.  Or is it Freddie's?  Anyway - we both got the kids meal - her chicken tenders, me the hot dog (and it was good!).  Then she went back and got a medium turtle sundae (yum) and we shared it.  Soon we headed back to her house where we discussed prices on things for her yard sale for this weekend. She labeled, I walked around and looked at things and gave my opinion.  I've taken a few things over and told her the money is hers.  Why let Savers or Goodwill make the money, right?  I hope they sell.  Not that I took much over, and there is probably a lot more that I could take over - but too lazy to go through things.  Yes, I still have a lot to get rid of... but just not taking time to think it through and get rid of things.  As I left last night, my daughter handed me a chocolate cupcake that she had been saving for me in the freezer for a few weeks while I was fasting.  And yes, I ate half of it last night. Like I said, dieting was not in the plans for yesterday.  I wonder if I could do any better today.

I may go over on Friday and work from there, going out to help when things get busy.  Saturday morning I will be over there early to help.  But I am not taking off work on Friday. Both Sue and Brett are at outside meetings so it should be a very slow day.  I should be able to help some - and besides, yard sales generally only lasts until noon or 1PM.  They are getting rid of so much - and low prices too - some where I told them it was too low - unless they jus wanted to get rid of it (which they do).  I found a black purse I could use so took it - but other than that, nothing I need to clutter my house more with.  In reality, they have already sold or gotten rid of a lot.  They will be moving some time next week. 

And I will be ok.  I'm thankful for everyone's concern for me.  And I'm not saying it will not bring sadness or sorrow to my heart for them to move.  It's not like we are a big part of their lives.  I see my daughter once a week - maybe - and unless something was going on - we may have only talked once a week.  We will probably talk and text more with them being gone!  I have plenty to fill up my time.

Today is catch up on work and then we have our group bible study we joined a few months ago tonight.  Last time it was here; it's at another house tonight.  We are still in Revelations - which reminds me - I do need to get it read.  I've read it numerous times before - but I do need to re-read it today so that it is fresh in my mind as we discuss.  I wonder what we will do afterwards.  I offered some books as ideas, but there didn't seem to be any interest. And that's ok. 

Hubby slept two hours yesterday afternoon - I woke him up as I was leaving for the gym.  He seemed real confused when I woke him.  I asked if he was meeting his friend Steve and it was like he didn't remember.  Finally I told him that it was Tuesday, and he had his study with Steve.  He said he would have to call him.  I reminded him that if Steve hadn't called, then they usually met.  I had to leave so out the door I went.  I checked my 360 later - and he was still at home.  When I came home I asked him what happened.  He said he called Steve and he had to work late so they didn't meet. Because of his behavior before I left, I'm not sure if I believe that, but there is no reason why I shouldn't.  I don't care if they don't meet - but hubby had been in such a deep sleep that he was confused when I woke him up. It makes me wonder if he just didn't want to go.  I just don't know.  It's the little things I sometimes pick up on then wonder if I'm just letting my imagination go wild.

And as you can tell, I am grasping at things to write about.  But I did read something good in one of my devotionals this morning.  It's about 'No Plan B'.  Since I don't really have time to share it this morning, I will make a note to share about it tomorrow.  So with that - I'll just ask this question - 

If you have something to come against you - how do you react?  What is your Plan A?  Do you have one?  Do you resort to Plan B if Plan A doesn't work?  What do you depend on - put as your 'god' - to get your through the tough times?

Til tomoorow....

Blessings!

It was a very interesting day

 Yesterday morning did bring about much effort on my part.  I did sit down for about an hour and work on a diamond art project.  But other than gathering items for the doctor's office, that was about all I did.  I drove to the doctor's office.  Hubby has 'told' me that I'm not to share the information about him.  What? He's telling me what to do? You know that isn't going to happen!  It's nothing bad, anyway.  Amusing somewhat on my part, but hey - I can tell it if I want to.  He is lucky I didn't run to my computer while it was fresh on my mind, right?

My appointment was first.  When the assistant came in to take my blood pressure, I told her it would be high as hubby was driving me crazy.  It was much higher than normal.  We somehow got in the conversation about hubby's driving (although I drove to the doctor's office) and my request he stop driving. She told me of an incident at the doctor's office where hubby had hit someone's car - and I realized he had lied to me.  First of all, he hadn't told me about it, but he had lied when I asked him about the additional marks on the car - this was several months ago.  She apparently talked to Dr. Mark about my concerns.  

So Dr. Mark comes in and we go over my TSH Free T4 or whatever it is.  I'm to cut one pill in half twice a week and go back in 7-8 weeks for another blood test to see if that dropped whatever the issue is.  Then Dr. Mark took my BP again.  I don't know what the first one was - but the second one was 136/76 and although not 'bad' - it was still higher than Dr. Mark wanted it.  I told him that in December I couldn't get it below 143/86 because of all that was going on.  Well, he didn't do anything about the BP now, but said we will be watching it.  It was still high this morning. Oh well.  I talked to him about losing weight - and he said to limit my calories to 800-1000 a day and work out 150 minutes a week - like 30 minutes 5 days a week.  I want to lose my belly and butt fat so will try working at that way. 

 Anyway - we got to talking about hubby doing his stupid questions, confusion, driving, etc.  THAT took 30 minutes of my time!  Dr. Mark shared he has 3 cognitive tests that he can give hubby, one at a time, that will help us figure out steps.  As for his driving, there is a senior driving test/course that he can do and they will determine if he needs to quit driving.  In fact, Dr. Mark said they would cut his license in half if he fails. 

So now it is time for hubby to come in for his appointment.  Dr. Mark reviews his blood workup and his Levothyroxine (thyroid) is too low.  His weight is 11 pounds more than last time. His Triglycerides are 150 points UP - and he takes two cholesterol pills!  Plus some other check points are up.  Dr. Mark asks hubby if he is taking his Levothyroxine daily - and of course hubby says yes. And Dr. Mark says 'no'.  So hubby confesses then that he misses sometimes.  AND THEY ARE IN HIS CASE WITH HIS OTHER MEDS!!  So Dr. Mark explains he is to take it first thing when he gets up - by itself.  So now hubby has put it beside the coffee pot so that he will remember every morning to take it by itself before other pills, before eating.  Dr. Mark remembered the time when I noticed his behavior and wrote him about it - and hubby had the pills but had not taken them in 3 months - another month and he would have died because his metabolism was so low.  Anyway - Dr. Mark told him he wanted him to lose weight so drop the chips, drop the big container of cashews he eats, quit the mindless eating.  He talked with hubby (and me, as I stay in the room) for over an hour.  I love Dr. Mark - he is so thorough and will talk through every question until we understand.  He asked hubby numerous questions to which hubby did answer correctly. He discussed the cognitive tests and hubby agreed that in April he will start taking them.  Dr. Mark will administer them.  Dr. Mark wants to get his thyroid back to where it should be as it does affect memory somewhat.  Dr. Mark asked him when he planned to quit driving - he said in two years when his license expires.  So 'we' had a discussion about that.  He drives minimally now - Walgreens, his Friday morning bible study, his Tuesday evening bible study, to the gym.   I told him that once my daughter moves to New Mexico - in another week or so - I can drive him to his bible study on Tuesday, and since IHOP is empty except for them most Tuesdays, I can sit in a front booth with my kindle and watch a movie and crochet if I want.  He grumbled but said it was an option. Taking one drive at a time right now.  Maybe over the next six months we can get things lessened.

And I was told to keep all that quiet.  I think it is mainly about the cognitive issues and driving he didn't want me to share - but then - what else can I write about?  LOL You all know my issues with both!  I don't wish bad on him; I pray that God will clear his mind and remove all confusion.  But he is lazy and chooses what he wants to do when he wants to do it.  Some of us are always that way - and he is getting there.  

So I had a training at 5PM so once we got home, I headed to the gym.  Hubby has a 9:30AM today so he will be driving over there.  I have to work today. Especially with taking yesterday off.  To 'celebrate' our doctor's suggestions on losing weight - for one last hurrah - we went to Streets of New York and had a New York Combo pizza - thin crust.  Love those.  Now that we have gotten over that craving, I will need to focus on good food.  I have a roast I plan to put on this morning for a late lunch.  He will eat dinner at IHOP - not sure if I'm meeting the daughter tonight or not - we may just go to Denny's and grab a salad.  Will see what she wants to do later.  She plans to have a yard sale this weekend to get rid of what else they aren't taking to New Mexico with them.  I will be there on Saturday, but Friday I don't think I can take off.  Got to watch my days off for they will be gone when I want to do something.

And with all that rambling - I am going to jump off and get ready for work.  I have about 8 minutes before 7AM and need to get the computer brought up and see what I need to do this morning.  So there you have it - but you know know any of this - right? :-)  I should hold back on posting and just put in draft mode.  But how else will my son (who is about the only one who reads this) know what is going on? :-)

Have an amazing day!

Blessings!

Sweet sound of Friday morning....

 Actually, as I typed that out... I'm thinking how 'sweet' Saturday mornings are when I don't have to rush out of here or rush to get on the work computer.  Yes, I am working today and will be turning on the work computer when I finish typing in here.  But it will be a fairly quiet day.  It's been fairly quiet the past 3-4 days as my male boss is still on vacation - won't be back until Monday and then I will be praying "HELP!" LOL  It's all good.  I've been trying to learn PowerPoint and I know pretty much the basics, but I'm stuck on this one thing and can't find an answer for it. So back to the beginning I go and hope I can figure it out. That is my 'ARC goal' this season and it, as I've shared before, affects how much of a raise I will get. I expect my raises to get smaller and smaller as I'm paid pretty good for working at home and doing what I do. No complaints, let's put it that way.  Another reason not to retire. 

In fact, I mentioned to Morgan yesterday morning as we were training... we were chatting and she said something about my retiring... and I told her that the first thing to go if I retired would be the training.  She immediately came back with "you can't retire!"  haha.  She doesn't make much on training, but it helps pay her bills while she is doing something she loves.  Yes, she could easily get other clients, but who would be more enjoyable than hubby and I?  

Hubby has already left for his Bible study this morning; he said he needed to stop and get gas on his way. He seems troubled this morning and I tried to get him to share what he was thinking, but he just went around whatever it is, I think.  He has a 10AM after the Bible study... with his cardiologist.  I was going to go with him, but he was complaining last night that he would have to drive all the way back here and then nearly back to where he was - so it was easier for him to go alone.  Since he isn't having heart issues and that isn't the problem with his body, I told him if he didn't want me to go with him, that was fine.  

We did see Dr. Mark yesterday and he spent over an hour with us, talking about hubby's tests - and still has no idea why his body is inflamed on the inside. Says that he needs a PET Scan - but those are only approved by insurance companies for oncologists.  He can't just order one as it would be denied. What the PET scan does is - they put glucose (sugar) in your body and it goes to wherever it is inflamed and gives off a bright light - THEN they can tell where the inflammation is coming from.  They can't do a CT with contrast (dye) because the dye would hurt his kidneys more.  The PET Scan is the only alternative safely to see what is going on.  So hubby is trying to get a meeting with the NP who works with his oncologist (the one we don't like).  She didn't return his call yesterday.  

The kidney doctor's notes to Dr. Mark did not include his blood workup and why hubby was told to quit taking vitamin D - when it was at 43 in June - and now it is 110?  So hubby made a call to that doctor yesterday and asked them to send the blood test results to Dr. Mark so he can compare with what he had taken recently.  Different doctors do different things and say things that confuse everyone?  Sounds like it, doesn't it.  

I don't think hubby is dealing very well with all this - we trust Dr. Mark and know that he cares about hubby.  Dr. Mark also shared that he has a patient who had been receiving the lupron shots for prostate cancer... and his PSA was no longer being a number.... only to find that the cancer had spread throughout his entire body via the lymph nodes.  And I remember that the oncologist had said the other week that when first diagnosed (stage 4, remember?) it was already in his lymph nodes.  All the lupron shots do is lower testosterone - which fuels the cancer - which lowers the PSA.  So if it doesn't kill the cancer - what happens to it?  So, yes, there is a possibility that the inflammation is cancer - but we won't know anything unless a PET Scan is approved and completed.  I think that thought is weighing heavy on hubby as his mother died from liver cancer.  That he may be scared - yeah, I'm sure he is.

Daughter is coming over early this morning to help me hang up the electronic calendar I purchased to help me with hubby's appointments and my calendar as well.  Yes, I could have used a paper calendar, but this will be more helpful (and I will continue to keep my own calendar on paper) as I can also put the board meetings on it that I have to attend and can have his appointments work around my work calendar.  I think we can link these to our phones so that when we are out, I can check my phone calendar and see what we have on the electronic one.  Then we will need to work with hubby to help him understand it as well.  I know he has his appointments on his desk calendar, but this way, we both have everything in one place. But 'just in case' power goes out; will also maintain the paper one.

Proverbs 19:20-21 (NIV):  Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise. Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails.

That is so true!  We can plan all we want - but what the Lord decides is what is going to prevail.  Kind of like the scripture of 'why worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow may never come' - my version.  So many times we worry about something that might happen in the future - but that future may not happen. How many times have been stressed and worried about things that were to happen, and yet, never did?  I'm hoping that is what's going on with hubby - he's worried about tomorrow - but I'm hoping the things he is worried about now, will not come to fruition.

I had so many packages arrive from Amazon yesterday - and I don't think any of them were on Prime Day. LOL Well, I did get $50 off the calendar so maybe that was.  Some were Christmas gifts (I told you I was getting started early!) and some were workout tops for me. :-)  Hubby is wanting a new Fitbit - a Versa 4 I imagine - as his Versa 2 finally died, and he has been wearing the Spade that I bought him - only he doesn't like it.  If it was earlier in the year, I'd just go ahead and buy it, but I told him this close to Christmas, and he had a watch he could use whether he liked it or not - put it on the Christmas list. He didn't like that answer but too bad.  I buy him nearly everything he wants when he wants it - (yes, he is spoiled, but so am I), but then I don't have anything to buy him for Christmas. That's the only thing I've heard him mention so I'm hanging on to it. :-)  I can go ahead and order it and then just hold it until Christmas. Actually, I can watch and see when it goes on sale.... 

And with all this rambling... I'm going to hush and get started on my day. Hope that you have an amazing day.  Do something special for someone -  They may need to know that someone cares.

Blessings!

Good news, bad news

 We received good news yesterday, or rather, hubby did.  He went to his prostate doctor and was told from recent tests that his count is excellent; and if it drops just a little lower, he can stop the shots and just be rechecked every three months.  I don't recall about the aneurysm/cancer issue - but he did read info from the cardiovascular doctor while hubby was there, and apparently it doesn't concern the prostate doctor anymore. It was good news, nevertheless.  The cardiovascular doctor's office called while hubby was in an HOA meeting and wanted to schedule his surgery for the aneurysm, but he couldn't on the day they chose so they are going to get back with him.  I will need to take that day off work.

Day three of our fast and needs are hitting.  Not for us, but we are putting out additional prayers for healing for my big brother who is going in for esophageal tests today, and for my little brother who was diagnosed yesterday with stage 3 lung cancer.  I believe he said he will start radiation in about 3 weeks; he has to get fitted for a 'cage' that will hold him in place while he has that done.  Hubby understands all that as when he had his radiation years back he also was marked up on his body so that they would know where to aim the radiation.  I think my brother said every day for 6 weeks (5 days a week).  I try to keep in touch so that I can know what is happening.   Plus my little sister has been in bed sick for the past three days and her hubby's immune system is down to 0.  Lots to pray about.

Ephesians 5:1-2 (NIV):  Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

There are different types of love - there is the romantic kind that we feel towards our spouses, and there is the parental love, the love that we have for our children, and there is the love that God gives us to love others.  I think it is more of a caring love, don't you?  I mean, yeah, I can love others, but that love doesn't affect me as much as my parental love or my romantic love.  What do you think?  But however we define it, we are called to love others as Christ loves the Church.

God loves us so much He sent His one and only Son to suffer and die for us on an old wooden cross as our sacrifice for every sin that we have committed.  Jesus loves us so much that He willingly laid down his life as our sacrifice.  We are called to have that same kind of love for others.  That can be tough at times, can't it?!  I mean, I do love our friends - but could I give up my life for them?  Honestly, I don't know.  I love my children and would do it in a heartbeat for them.  I love my hubby and I would give my life up for him. But ... loving others the way Jesus loves me... outside of family... that can be tough at times, can't it. Just being honest here.  What are your thoughts?

Sometimes our siblings can drive us crazy and we would say 'no way'!  And yet, we are called to love them with the love of Jesus. We may not approve of their lifestyles, their choices, but we are not to be their judge.  We are accountable for ourselves; what are we doing with our life - are we loving others, caring for others, doing unto them what we want them to do unto us?  I think many times we fall short, don't you?

Yeah, I'm rambling some this morning. But the thought still remains - can we love all others the way that Jesus loves them - and loves us?

Yesterday wasn't too bad for work; got a couple outstanding meetings to schedule and will get on those this morning. I don't mind so much making meetings within the company - it's the outside people that frustrate for then I have to work with their admins and see what is available on their calendars.  It's a headache at times.  And then don't get me going on these travel arrangements my one boss has to have.  I submitted one to senior leadership to approve, then I'll get his plane and hotel reservations made.  Personally I don't think he should go if they aren't paying his hotel bill and travel expenses. But, it's not my call.  He has one in March and another one in April.  March has been submitted; got to find the info on April and then get it submitted to senior leadership to approve today as well. I wonder how he would feel if they told him 'no'.  He is assigned as a speaker at both conferences; I still say they should pay his hotel bill at least!

Tonight is 'girls night out' and my daughter and I will be back at work on the diamond art project of 'The Last Supper'.  We hadn't gotten too far before we stopped so I could work on my son's Santa project.  I still am so proud of that photo, and at a few feet away, you can see that it is him.  If I had known I would have had it printed and made into diamond art, I would have gotten a better photo.  I hadn't heard of diamond art until last year - and I'm so glad I did it.  It was a project of love.  Hubby won't be meeting his friend tonight so he will be home.  Kind of puts a hush on our chatting, but we can get through it.  It's been 3-4 weeks since my daughter and I have gotten together so we have a lot to catch up on.

I think this sleep gadget on my Apple watch isn't right.  I thought I had slept really sound all night - and I was having difficulty waking up this morning. But when I looked at my 'sleep record', it says I was awake numerous times throughout the night, and that I was only in a deep sleep a few minutes, moreso in the 'core' sleep. It makes no sense to me.  But I do know that I feel like I could take a nap now. Did not want to get up out of bed.

And with that - I have a few minutes before I need to jump up and get on the work computer so need to get my body moving, get it dressed, and ready for work.  I love being able to hang out in my pjs for awhile, but there is a time that clothes must become a necessity.

Enjoy your day!

Blessings!