My head hurts again this morning and I am drawing a blank as to what to write about. I just took my blood pressure, which I do occasionally on the Hello Heart program, and it was quite a bit higher than usual. So I do what I always do. I sit still and take several deep breaths and take it again. And it dropped way down again. We're talking 135/89/61 to 104/70/60. I was told years ago that, as you probably know, our blood pressure is a wavy line. If you take it once, wait a few minutes and take it again. You may catch it on the 'downside'. And if it is higher, then maybe you need to take it a third time! But, if you will sit and take several deep breaths, that will also lower it. I have this thing about not wanting a 'high bp' reading on my log. No one sees this but me, as far as I know, but it is a 'me' thing. I also read that you need to empty your bladder and sit with both feet on the floor when you take it. Something about a full bladder causes it to go up. Cause you need to go to the potty? I don't know. And yes, I am rambling.
I sent an email the other day to my Virta coach because I hadn't heard if I had been accepted into the program or not. He responded yesterday that yes, I had been accepted because I could not have signed in otherwise. Hot Dog. You know what I keep thinking about? No, not hot dogs. I have O&H Danish still in my freezer. I forgot to give them out when the kids were over. Don't know if they would want now as the holidays are over. But I want a piece of one!! I want a sandwich - which means BREAD. And I'm supposed to start this new program on TUESDAY. And I'm still on the fast of no bread. I am pretty sure I am going to cheat right after the fast and eat something(s) I shouldn't before I give this new program my full attention. But then, that's stupid, isn't it. I'm letting food control my thinking. Groan. I love sugary, carby things!! But I need to break that if I want to clear my head, clean out my body of all the toxic stuff I've been putting in it, and gain energy and clear-mindedness. It's a choice, and it is a choice I want to make. It will be a struggle, I guarantee you. I.love.bread. I want to make and bake bread. But I also want to play with my great-grandchildren for a long, long time. So what's important to me? They are. Food does not define me. My legacy is not food. Sometimes I may need to tell myself that frequently, but I need to do this. For me, and for them.
Reminds me of a t-shirt hubby got for Christmas from the youngest, I think it was. It said something about "I don't like my children, but I love my grandchildren'. I don't remember exactly what it said, but you get the jest. And you know you can relate in some ways - yes, we still love our children, but these grandchildren are a joy, and the great-grandchildren even more so. Grandchildren don't seem to have time for us - but our greats sure do! Until they grow up, anyway.
Oh man! I just remembered I have several boxes (don't tell; I ordered 16) of girl scout cookies in the freezer. Sigh. I am pretty sure they are not on the approved list of foods. Oh well, I can use for desserts when we have company. I just won't eat any. Sigh. That is going to be really hard, especially cause I love my trefoils with coffee. Maybe I can allow myself 3 a day? Probably not. But if I go 'cold-turkey' in giving up carbs, won't that kill me? Just saying.
Hubby has his bible study this morning and he is moving about to get ready. He will poke his head in here in about 10 minutes or so to let me know he's leaving. I will have at least two hours of quiet. Unfortunately, I also have to work. But I will have some time after he leaves for me. But I also need to get in the shower. So many 'me' things to do and I have to make a decision what. Oh well. Hubby also has a doctor's appointment today to freeze off some spots; he goes about every three months I think and the doctor freezes things all over his body. Does he really have that many that need to be froze off? It seems extravagant to me, but I'm not the doctor. I did tell hubby that if he doesn't mention it to the doctor I WILL send a letter and itemize all the things he has been asking me that don't make any sense. Plus he can even more quickly than before, go into anger mode if I correct him, or diss him. His face contorts into an unexplained expression. And, in talking with my boss yesterday morning about this, she agrees that it is all early signs of dementia, which we have known for some time. Hubby just refuses to acknowledge it, which is understandable. No one wants to admit there as 'issues'. With the brain or body. With him eating what I eat, it is possible that we might be able to delay or even reverse some of the confusion with eliminating a large portion of carbs and sugar from his diet. I grilled chicken last night, steamed some broccoli, and sliced an orange for us to eat. An hour later he said he was hungry. But he didn't eat as it was late. In all fairness, by the time we went to bed, I was getting hungry!
Which reminds me, I need to pick up another combo box today. Lots of fruit and veggies in it. Think I will be digging out some cookbooks and see how to fix some of it. Never have fixed spaghetti squash but can try - but I definitely don't need three of them. One of my granddaughters cooks it so will see if she wants the other two.
Philippians 2:14-16 (NLT): Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ's return I will be proud I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.
I don't know about you, but I get stuck on the 'without complaining and arguing' part. Sigh. (I seem to be doing a lot of that this morning, aren't I?) Let's work on our complaining and arguing and live our lives for the glory of God. He is the only One who matters.
Blessings!
