Another sleepless night -

 What is going on with me?  Hubby was flipflopping quite a bit after we went to bed last night so at 12:30AM I finally got up and came in here, and climbed into bed.  Mind wide awake, I prayed for all my children and grandchildren ... and then at 2AM what happened?  My printer, which I leave on (but am thinking I am going to shut off!) decided to do updates.  So it 'moaned and groaned' as it did its thing.  After 3-5 minutes of it, it stopped.  So then I tossed and turned, trying to go back to sleep; finally getting up at 4AM to get in my chair - and this is where I was when hubby brought my coffee. He turns to leave, then pauses.  I knew what he was doing.  He was observing the messed up bed.  He asked me if I slept in here - and I told him I came  in around midnight because he was tossing and turning, and I couldn't sleep.  He gave a deep sigh, though I can't say it was entirely his fault that my mind was awake... he took me out to lunch yesterday and I had two diet cokes... that is the only explanation I have - too much caffeine?  I don't know - but I couldn't sleep.  Maybe I can sneak a nap in today.

Yesterday was somewhat busy most of the day with work - meetings to schedule.  Today, though, both of my 'big' bosses are on vacation for the rest of the week.  I do have some things I need to do; hopefully the other two that I support won't start sending a bunch of things to do.

I noticed yesterday that my work laptop has 'bulged' and 'warped' apart in the front.  I put in a service order request for a new laptop.  Hopefully they will let me meet up with IT at a location about 5 miles from here versus having to drive downtown or down to Mesa.  I could wait until the 25th when I do have to drive to Mesa for a meeting, but that's still two weeks away.  I don't know how safe this laptop is with the gap in the middle, but will wait to hear from IT.  They are not real quick on getting things completed.  If they wait another week, I may as well wait until the 25th and get it taken care of.  I don't know how long it has been like that; it's black, on a black stand, and it doesn't have much light over the comptuer.  Oh well.  As long as it still comes up, I can still work.

Ms. Amy called yesterday... Cox is to be out this morning from 8-10AM so I need to make myself available to let them in and let them fix the TV.  Her daughters come in later today.  She told me she had to argue with them to get them out today - well, yeah, usually they put you off for at least two weeks.  Who knows how she did it... she is persistent to get her own way.  I still need to get our fingerprints off the corners of the TV where hubby and I were struggling to lift it up on the high stand.  I still have a bruise on my arm.

Tonight a grandson has his last band concert and I plan to attend.  Not sure what time it is so will need to email someone and find out.  Hubby has his group thing tonight; so I get alone time with my son/daughter-in-law.  

Wanna know how busy and stressful yesterday was?  About 10AM I had had enough and grabbed a package I needed mailed... took it to the post office, then went to CVS.  I knew I wanted to go to CVS, but couldn't really remember WHY I wanted to go... so I just walked around for a bit... picked up about 4 bags of chocolate.... paid for it and came home.  Put some in the candy dish; ate a whole snicker bar... and then hubby came in and wanted to take me to lunch.  He gets angry when I tell him no, so off to lunch we went.   The afternoon was about half as busy as my morning was.  

Hubby informed me over lunch that he has pretty much decided not to take any more shots or pills for 'what ails him'.  He spoke at length with our nurse grandson-in-law last Sunday; plus I had talked with my boss, who is a nurse and had already informed him what she said.  And I gave him my opinion to boot last week.  He has weighed it all and decided to not do anything.  What had I told him?  You are 86 yeas old; do you quality of life to the end with the 'possibility' of getting a disease.... or take the 'preventive' shot/pills and be miserable for the remaining years you have left.  He has had one shot; he sleeps more during the day (still not all through the night - because he sleeps so much during the day?), he has gone through itchy spells to where he has to take a benadryl to stop the itching, he has other symptoms of 'side effects' but am not sure if he is looking for them because it says it 'could' .. or if they are real.  I get it though; I'm sure I would imagine side effects if it was me.  Now he has to tell his doctor 'no more'.  This should be interesting.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it.... right?

Psalm 121:1-2 (NKJV):  "I will lift up my eyes to the hills - From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."

Have you ever wondered who you can 'run' to whenever you are struggling; when you need a little clarity of mind; when anxiety threatens to overcome you?  I can tell you who I run to - my Lord.  No one knows what all I have had to go through over the years ( or what I have put others through...I'm not perfect, by any means).... but when I am at my lowest point, I know I can always run to Jesus and He will help me through it.  Sometimes the situations are real; sometimes it is just real in my imagination.  I'm sure you go through the same thoughts at times.  Is what I am feeling real - or is it 'just me'.  When I take that feeling, that situation, that difficulty to Jesus, and lay it down at His feet, I don't have to deal with it - perhaps it is just for that moment - but for the moment, He gets me through it.  And He will get you through it as well, if you will but ask Him to.

Many times throughout the day when a thought occurs to me of which I have no control, I cry out to Jesus to please help however He chooses; but please help in that situation.  Many times the situations are not even mine, but they are out of my control  and all I can do is pray.  So I do look to the hills (albeit sometimes just in my mind), and know that my help comes from the Lord.  I have that assurance that He will hear me, and will answer.  Do you have that assurance?   Oh that you do!

Life is too short to be burdened with problems and things....  I praise God that He helps me through even the most difficult moments of my life.  I am truly lost if I don't have Him to lean into and hold on to.  He is my Strength.   And He wants to be yours as well.  Will you let Him?

Blessings!

Do some people really think the world revolves around them?

 I think I mentioned the day before that Ms. Amy had called me about six or more times about picking her up, and other things.  I held off my 'lunch break' until 1:30PM yesterday so that I could go pick her up and bring her to her 'condo'.  At least I could leave her and come back to work.  It didn't take long for Cox to arrive to put cable back in her place.  Her daughters (2 of them) are coming out next week and she wanted the TV working as one daughter has severe MS and that is her only entertainment.  So the young man from Cox set up cable and was trying to hook up the TV ... when I got another call from Ms. Amy.  They couldn't find the cord for the TV - the one that plugs the TV into the wall.  (Like I would know where it is?)   So I go back over and try to help them find this cord.  They need one that has a round end to plug into the TV.  We cannot find it anywhere there.  (The TV had been in her bedroom but had been moved to the front room).

I kind of think that when she had Cox come out a year ago to remove the cable and modem and all - the person wasn't paying attention to what they were doing - and pulled the cord from the TV as well as the modem - and took it all with them. And of course didn't return it.  I tried to find an extra cord here to see if it would fit - no luck.  I even checked my flatscreen TV that is still sitting behind my yarn stash becaues I haven't bothered to have it put up.  Nope, it didn't fit either.  Ms. Amy tried to tell the Cox man, a very polite, nice man named Eric, who is from the Ukraine, that he had to go buy her one to replace the one that Cox must have taken.  I intervened and tried to explain to Ms. Amy that wasn't his job.  He was very kind to her and I finally convinced her that I 'd take her to Best Buy and we'd see about finding a cord.  She let him leave.  But before he left; bless his heart, he wrote out specific instructions on how to set up the TV to the cable.  

I know this is a long story...  I take Ms. Amy to Best Buy and we ask about getting a cord.  Well, guess what.  Samsung has already changed their TVs and the very same size now has the double cord plug in to the tv versus the one plug... so they don't carry the 'old' plugs.  I suppose if we had time we could have hit savers or goodwill but ... I finally put it to Ms. Amy that if she wanted a TV for her daughter, she was going to have to buy a new 32" TV.  Which she did.  Now it has dawned on me that she had a 60" or so TV there that she had taken off the table and had put the little one. Why in the world didn't she just leave the big TV?  We should have just put the big TV back on the stand and used it, rather than deal with this little one.  UGH.  If I needed this little one, I'd just buy it and put the big TV up for her daughter.  Anyone need a 32" flatscreen TV for $251?  It's a 'smart' tv....   Oh well... long story coming to an end.. she called Eric (from Cox, who was a blessing to give us his telephone number in case we needed help) and told him he had to come back today and fix it.  I text'd my son-in-law last night and asked if he would stop by this morning and set it up.  If he can't, then I'll call Eric.  

That was my life for four hours yesterday afternoon.  I was drained when I finally got Ms. Amy back to the assisted living after 6PM.  I had to take her to KFC to pick up some dinner for her since she missed it at the AL.  LOL  She ordered two chicken breasts, french fries and coleslaw.  I don't know how much she ate, but assuredly not much, and she 'hid' the rest inside the seat of her walker.  I asked if she was sneaking the food in to the AL and she said yes; she wanted it for today.  She doesn't care much for their food.

So glad this is Friday.  I feel like I haven't gotten much accomplished this week, although I have been busy.  Work has been busier than usual, but I was happy that I was caught up on things when I had to deal with Ms. Amy.  Oh - I did tell her that we did not need her at the house today.... I'll take care of getting the TV set up.  I could probably do it myself (without her talking to me constantly), but since I don't have a clue as to what I'm doing... I'd rather get it done quickly.  I may keep looking for a cord to fit that other TV; I do have some cords laying around in the garage.  

Needles of Hope is tomorrow and that is my getaway for the weekend.  There are so many other things I need to get done.... and probably won't... this weekend.  Sigh.  I'm still waiting on hubby to put up his new tie box.... I even marked it for him where to put the screws!  It's been since 4/22... or so... it's still sitting on the floor in his closet.  Ever few days he will say "I'm going to put that up today" and then forgets about it.  He also has a stack of Hawaiian shirts he wants to try on that are still laying on chair... oh well.  I just haven't taken my 'try on' clothes out of my closet yet so guess I can't comment.

Hubby has joined his 'old' Bible study group on Friday mornings.  They've moved closer to us so he asked if he could rejoin them.  They are 'delighted' he is coming back.  Me too.  That means I can have peaceful Friday mornings.  I think they meet at 7:30AM and he won't be home until at least 9:30, I would think.  It's been a few years since he had been with them.  And he eats breakfast so I don't have to worry about lunch... and just need to figure out dinner.  I hear him getting his things together cause he will leave in about half an hour.  Yipes - my time is getting away from me this morning!

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV):  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I needed to be reminded of that verse this morning as I pray for my prodigal granddaughter and some serious trouble she has gotten herself in to.  I cannot fix it for her, and neither can her daddy.  My heart grieves over her situation, and I just keep praying for grace.  

Do you have something that you are somewhat anxious about?  Perhaps a high unpaid bill?  A broken down car?  A messed up friendship?  Perhaps relationships within your family?  You may shrug and think to yourself that 'you can deal with it'... and you very well may be able to... but have you ever thought that if you pray about that situationa give it to God, that although you still need to do your part, that God will take that anxiousness away?  You have given God the responsibility to take care of it, regardless of what that situation is.  I prefer to do life that way.  I would be a mess if I didn't!  Sometimes I forget I've given it to Him and try to fix everything myself, when it would be much easier to trust Him to work things out in His time.   I need to trust Him, and wait upon Him.  Do my part, but allow God to be God and do His.  After all, I did ask Him to help, right?

Ok - I need to get off here and get ready to start my work day.  Hope that you have an amazing day, without any anxiousness or anxiety creeping upon you.  Trust in Jesus; He is there waiting to help you.

Blessings!