I know I missed something good....

 This weekend was the Divine Women's Conference by Free Chapel in Georgia that I signed my little sister and I up for around the first part of this year.  I didn't know how either of us could financially go, but I thought it would be good for both of us. In my mind, both of us could have saved for it, and have it as a goal.  It was something we both needed.  And it would have been so fulfilling and we would  have been blessed.  But, with things happening earlier this year, I knew I couldn't go.  And neither could my sister.  So I donated the two tickets that I had bought, that perhaps someone who couldn't afford to go, could go.  I would have had airline tickets and hotel to pay for too, so it's just not to be this year.  

I'm watching worship with Free Chapel this morning as I write this.  I usually do turn my phone on at 6AM when the first service starts.  Yeah, I get some worship and a message before I even get ready for church on Sundays!  Great worship that is good for my soul.  Remember the song, "What can make me whole again?  Nothing but the blood of Jesus.  What can wash away my sins?  Northing but the blood of Jesus!   O Precious is the flow, that makes me white as snow. No other fount I know, nothing but the blood of Jesus."  Nothing but the blood of Jesus.  He sets us free from our past; from everything.  You can never know life until you have been washed by His blood and set free from the things that hold you.

There is Hope and there is Freedom... speak Jesus.  His name is Power; His name is Healing.  He will bring every stronghold, shine through the shadows, burn like a fire through those things that hold us in bondage.  He can remove every fear and anxiety, and every soul that is held captive, He alone can set free.  Powerful words.  Read them again.  Choose to speak the name of Jesus - He can set each one of us free from whatever holds us - He can shine through the shadows and break every stronghold.  Wow!

My heart is really longing to get away with Jesus for a few days.  No phone, no TV, no interactions with others, just Jesus.  Unfortunately, hubby doesn't understand that feeling I have; he wants to go wherever I want to go too.  Sure, he wants to spend quality time with Jesus, but he wants to do it with me and not let me go alone.  That's the difference between us.... if he wanted to do it, I'd encourage it, and take advantage of my time alone at home to do the same.  Perhaps I need to start out slow.  It's been a few years, but perhaps I can convince him to let me have a Saturday morning alone here in my room - until noon at least - and just have that time alone with God.  I just need to make sure I get it on the calendar so that he knows that is what I'm going to do.  Sooner rather than later.  Stay tuned on that.  

It's Sunday and we will be getting ready for church soon.  Our pastor has been 'on fire' in preaching the Word.  I always walk away with learning something.  I even take notes!  But then I bury the notes in my Bible, and unless we talk about them specifically, that is where they will stay.  I need to get better organized, for sure.  

In fact, I was re-reading Draw the Circle by Mark Batterson this morning, and in it he talks about his prayer journal.  Every time I read that chapter, I get inspired to carry one of my journals around with me.  But, I write a lot of personal things int here and if I ever lost it... yipes!  I need to SPEAK my prayers more than WRITE my prayers.  In fact, in thinking back over the years,, I can remember when I changed from just writing things in a journal versus writing my prayers in the journal.  Several years ago a friend mentioned that she wrote out her prayers each morning so that she could look back and see how God answered her prayers.  That made sense to me, so I started doing it.  Unfortunately, it caused me to use more of my time writing, and less time actually talking with God.  My loss, for sure!  I've been gradually getting back to the 'way it was' when I first became a Christian.  There is nothing like spending time 1:1 talking with Jesus.  Yes, I still write in my journals, but I don't want to write my prayers in there... I want to talk with Jesus.  Journals are a tracking of my life.  My emotions. My feelings about things.  But prayers.... that is when I can lay it all out before God.  Writing it just isn't the same.

Jentezen Franklin is on fire this morning!  He is talking about how Jesus tells us to Follow Him... remember when Simon Peter and Jesus were walking and Jesus told Peter how when he  was a child, he had freedom, but when he grew old, his hands would be bound and he would be led away.  That was Simon Peter's future.  As he pondered that, Simon Peter looked behind him and saw the beloved disciple, John.  "What about him?" Simon Peter asked Jesus.  And how did Jesus respond?  

John 21:22 (NKJV):  "Jesus said to him, "If I will that he remain til I come, what is that to you?  You follow Me."

It doesn't matter what happens to us.  It doesn't matter what people do or say to us.  It doesn't matter the challenges we face.  In all these things, Jesus just says, "Follow Me."

"Follow Me."  The lessons we have learned over the years always draw us back to 'Follow Jesus'.  

And that is going to be my challenge to you this morning.  Jesus knows about every trial you or your child goes through.  He knows what is ahead of you.  With each one of these trials and heartaches, each thing you walk through, Jesus is drawing you to Him.  Satan is a liar.   Satan doesn't want you to follow Jesus.  Satan knows that you can stomp on his head.  

Choose Jesus.

Follow Him.  Follow Jesus.  You will never be the same.

Blessings!

Sometimes you are just numb...

 Sometimes things happen that we have no control over.  Sometimes we hear news of bad things that we find it so hard to comprehend.  Sometimes life can be overwhelming and you go numb, not knowing what to do, what to plan, what to think.  

That is about where I am right now.  My mind wanders.  I think about what is going on. Uncertainty.  Possibility. Fear. Trusting in God.  Asking for more faith to believe.  Praying. Seeking. Longing. Hoping. All these things can come together and either attack or cause one to surrender.

Psalm 16:9 (NKJV): "Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices, my flesh will also rest in hope."

Psalm 39:7 (NKJV):  "And now, Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you."

Lamentations 3:24 (NKJV):  "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I hope in Him."

What I have right now is hope.  Hope.  What is that word, anyway?  What does it mean?  Well, Webster's Dictionary defines it as "to cherish a desire as in anticipation; to want something to happen or be true."   I think that is where I am hanging right now.   What is on my mind is a desire for something different to happen than what it looks like.

And the Word that comes to mind this morning is the scripture that talks about 'what is done in secret shall be exposed in the light'.  

Luke 8:17 (NKJV):  "For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light."

The Unknown.  Wanting information, and receiving nothing.  Nothing to update. Nothing to report.  Where is the hope?  How do we pray? The unknown of information is crushing.

And that is when I run to my Savior and fall at His feet, and lay it there.  I cannot carry such a heavy heart, a heavy load like this all alone.  Only Jesus can lift my burden.  Only Jesus can hold me close and comfort my sorrowful heart.  Oh Lord, that You will hear and You will answer the way I want You to!  Yet I know that You see the bigger picture than I do, that You are in control of the situation and of all things.  And in You, all things will be good.  I know not what the future holds, but I know that You hold the future, Jesus.  I take Your hand and will hold on, no matter what comes our way.  You are Jehovah Rophe, our Healer.  You are Jehovah Shalom, our Peace.  I sit in silence and wait for You to act. Your will, O Lord, be done, in heaven and on earth.  Take this situation, Lord, and bring good from it, that we may rejoice in Your faithfulness.  But if no good, in our eyes, comes from it, the good I pray for, I will still trust in You.  I will still seek Your face, for You are my Lord. 

Blessings.

I love my quiet evenings.....

 Last night my usual Tuesday evening plans fell through becuase my daughter's arm is still too sore to crochet so we didn't meet up.  Hubby went off to his study with his friends and I stayed home.  I did some things that I wanted to do when hubby wasn't home (cause he always thinks he needs to 'help' and some things I just don't want help on - I want to do it myself!!) and then worked on my on-going puzzle for a little bit.  Then I decided I'd watch a movie instead of reading.  In fact, I watched two that I had seen before, and that's ok.  Didn't remember all and it was good to watch again.  And, while I was doing that, I was able to crochet on a Christmas gift.  Yeah, I have no idea what to get people this year so am starting on certain things early.  It was a wonderful, enjoyable, and quiet evening and I enjoyed it very much.  As you can probably figure out from my whining the past two years, I don't get those evenings - or days - very often.  I treasure them right now cause it is a break from my normal busy days.

I haven't started a new book to read yet, although I have a few beside my chair.  Two I have read before, but I learn from them every time I read them.  Yeah, they aren't romance novels.  I leave that to my movies.  I love to read biographies of Biblical people.  Elijah is my favorite, then David, and Daniel, and of course Jesus.  There are a few others I like as well that I read specifically about.  And I don't care if I re-read; I get something out of them each time.  I am doing a study on James and have completed the first lesson.  Found a free online study from Dallas Theological Seminary and the first week was good.  I about 'froze' when I saw there was a test to complete and submit.  But I passed it 100%.  Haven't watched the second session yet, but I have ...ah, I remember writing about it the other day now.  It's a bear getting older and forgetting things.  But I have the commentary now and I can read about James.

This morning, though, I need to cut my time short and get ready to head out.  I'm meeting my boss this morning for our breakfast and catch up.  I'm so grateful we are friends as well, and have been for over 25 years.  She is an amazing woman and I have great respect for her.  Plus she likes me, which helps. I love meeting her for breakfast or lunch and it starts my day off good.  And, because I'm with my boss, and we do discuss some work, it's ok if I am gone 2-3 hours at the start of this day.  I will be online for about an hour before I head out.  Need to let my other boss I'm going to be 'out' for a little bit this morning.  Looking forward to enjoying breakfast with her.

My garden bed isn't doing so well.  It started out good, and then I saw that something was eating my leaves.  I 'worked' on my garden some yesterday, pulling out dead and dying parts and found a little green worm that has obviously been eating on my plants.  I did remove it from my garden, but are there others?  It's green, so I can easily miss seeing it.  Hopefully my garden will continue to grow some.  That worm has already 'killed' two plants so I'm hoping it was the only one.  I need to cook and use up my herbs - cut back a lot of my mint yesterday, thanks to the worm eating nearly every single leaf.

It's kind of like life, isn't it?  Life seems to be going well, growing in ways that it should, and we let a worm get in.  That little worm could be anything.  It could be attitude.  It could be conflicts.  It could be distractions.  It could be, well, just about anything.  That worm gets in and little by little eats away at our lives and causes conflict.  It eats away at us until we are grumpy and irritable, and no fun to be around.  Things bother us more because we are being eaten up with anxiety, with worry, with our thoughts on how we are being treated.  (after all, it is all about us, right?)  We let the worm in, and it slowly works it's way through us and literally eats us alive.

Kind of like the serpent in the garden, you think?  You remember the Garden of Eden, right?  And how the serpent Devil tempted Eve in the garden about eating from the tree of Life that God had told Adam and Eve not to eat of it.  Oh, that evil serpent, the worm, not only enticed Eve, but worded it so that it made Eve pause to believe what the serpent said.  And Adam, whom God had told specifically not to eat of that tree, after Eve had bitten into the fruit, took it from Eve and ate it.  What can we learn from this story?

If God says don't eat it, then don't eat it!!  No matter how much you are tempted!  No matter how much you want to give in.  If God said it, and you know He said it, you better believe you better not do it!

Sometimes we can relate that to our children.  As parents, it is our 'job' to raise our children in the admonition of the Lord.  We are to teach our children to love the Lord and obey him.  Just like we teach our children to obey us.  We want them to do what we say without argument, without commenting back. We should learn from that, you think?  When God tells us not to do something, or to do something, shouldn't we also immediately do it - because God said it?

If the Holy Spirit brings to mind the name of someone, do you pause and wonder why?  Do you pick up the phone and perhaps call or text and just ask 'how you doing'?  Or do you ignore the thought and just go on with your day?  What if that name came to mind and you didn't do anything and then later you heard that something happened to that person?  Or not, it may be only that at that time they needed a friend to say they cared.  So many times we read stories of people who are so sad that they have no will to live any more.  They wish that someone would reach out that they care.

I read a story one time about a young woman who was going to end her life.  She was ready to do so, and yet, something inside of her caused her to pick up the phone and make a phone call.  She somehow misdialed and the call went to a pastor who was on his way out the door to go home after a long day.  He paused, thinking whether or not he should answer - if he answered, he could be there for awhile and he was tired; or he could ignore the ringing and go on home.  They could leave a message, right?  He chose to answer the phone.  After a lot of silence and questions/answers, he realized that he had answered that phone for a reason.  God had directed that call to this pastor so that he could share Hope with this girl.  It all hit home when she told him that if he had not answered his phone, she was going to end her life, because she had told God if no one answered, then no one cared, and there was no reason for her to live.  God showed her she had every reason to live, for in life, there is always Hope.

Hope.  What is your definition of Hope?  Have you given up hope?  Hope for life changes that never happen?  Hope that your marriage will turn around?  Hope that your children will come back into the fold?  Hope that you can keep the job your have and hope that you have money to pay the bills?  What is the Hope that you have?

Psalm 33:20 (NIV) "We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield."

Our hope can not be found in material things.  Our hope is found only in Jesus.    Jesus is the Author and Perfector of our faith.  Our Hope is in Him alone.

What are you hoping for?  Have you taken a moment to talk to Jesus about it?  He is always available; you only need to open your mouth and speak.  You don't get a busy signal.  You don't get voicemail when you call Jesus.  

Philippians 4:6 (NLT):  "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done."

Blessings!