and I mentally felt pretty low last night. Do you ever do that? I mean, I wasn't THAT bad, but I felt the spirit of depression come upon me and I just let it sit there for awhile before I went to bed. Actually, a lot of it had to do with my sister(s) I think. I am missing my big sister. I still can't believe she is gone, and I definitely do not believe she committed suicide. Did I tell you that a couple days ago her son called me... and wanted me to believe that he didn't do it; he didn't give her the antifreeze, that she did it on her own. I just let him talk for there is never any reasoning with him. He told me his side of the story from the night before.... which is interesting, because he told the detectives, and my brother, that he didn't come home from the hospital until 6:30AM the next morning.... but here he was telling me that he was there the night before as he had gone to Arby's and bought two sandwiches for his mother.... and she told him next time to get her only one; two were too many. So which is it? I questioned him on that... but he said it was the night before. Interesting, when he had been telling it was that morning. He started crying, of course, as he told me that all her could remember was his mom laying on the floor with one arm up in the air, asking him to help her up. I let him ramble on for about 20 minutes and finally told him I had to get back to work. Oh, he also said he didn't tell the truth when he said he found a pill on his console and took it - which nearly killed him. He said his roommate gave him the pill, and he knew what it was. I can never believe what he is saying because he always contradicts himself. The truth always comes out.
Anyway, I was missing my big sister last night, then my little sister started texting me, and for once she wasn't making me feel she was criticizing or putting me down. But I told her I was 'in the pit' last night, was going to curl up in a ball and stay there for awhile, then I would be ok in the morning. Of course she was all over that comment, as I knew she would be. She loves it when I'm not myself, but feeling low. It always makes her feel better. And, by the way, even though I was feeling pretty low last evening in that I was missing my big sister, I am doing great this morning. I didn't stay in the pit; I got a decent sleep last night and this morning climbed out of the pit and put my feet back on the Solid Rock.
See, it's ok to be sad every once in a while. It's ok to miss those you love. But there comes a time when you have to raise your head up and say, "ok, I can't change what happened....but I can continue to live." And that's what I'm doing. After all, I do have a job to do yet today. I refuse to live in sadness, in sorrow, in the pit. I'm not setting up house. I have a life to live, and I plan to live it to the fullest.
My stack of Christmas gifts arriving is getting bigger and hubby is already fussing at me. Maybe I will work on that this weekend. I can clean out a cabinet in the garage (yeah, I know, good luck with that), and after writing down and labeling what gift goes to whom, I can store in the cabinet until I'm ready to wrap and put under the tree. I can't help it - this group I'm in on facebook is by a woman who posts special deals on Amazon.... let's just say I think I have the two gifts I want to give for the great-grandchildren...well, the girls, anyway. These deals are 50% off when I usually get them so it isn't that I'm paying full price just because I'm getting them early. I bought myself a new set of bands for my new watch - I paid $10 or more for the one I bought when I got the watch.... I got six different colors - without the special price, without the additional discount, I would have paid $18..... I got them for $8. I think that is a pretty good deal.
I read a story tis morning about a young man who had a promising football career, but he made a wrong choice. He was walking home from school after practice, walking along a railroad track. A train was coming and he decided he wanted to 'hitch' a ride - so as it came by, he jumped up and grabbed hold. It only took a couple minutes for him to realize that his hold wasn't that great so he decided to let go and fall back on to the grass and continue walking. Only he didn't observe where the train was by this time. He let go and fell back, only to fall 40 feet onto the bank of the river, crushing several bones in his body, and ending his promising football career. He made a wrong choice; actually a couple of them. One was grabbing ahold of the train to hitch a ride, the other was to let go. He didn't look to see where he would fall.
Proverbs 2:11: "Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe."
That verse reminds us of the power of our choices. Our ability to choose is the most powerful gift God has given us. Each day is filled with a thousand choices we can make. We get to choose how we spend our time, how we spend our money, on what we spend our energy. We get to choose if we will obey the laws, obey our parents, obey God. We can choose who we hang out with, who we want to listen to, and who we are going to ignore. We get to choose what we will eat or drink, what we want to put in our minds, and what we choose to put in our hearts.
If our choices are wise ones, we will have a road that works toward health and happiness and success. It's scary sometimes how our choices can make those decisions for us. We can choose wisely, or we can chose things that are of not wise, of no value to us as a whole. Sit back and think about some of your choices. Like me, you are probably thinking of a few that you would like to change that choice and go a different path. But we can't go back. But we can go forward.
What choices are you looking at for today? Are they wise choices, or are you making them out of an emotional want? Will the choice you make today, make a difference in anyone's life; in yours? Sometimes we need to step back from the choices we've made and re-evaluate where we want this choice to go, and make adjustments.
I'm sure if this young man had made the choice to look about him before he let go of the train, he would have waited a couple more seconds to get over the river and hit it, rather than the bank that crushed his body. Or even to hold on until it got across the river to the other side.
What choice do you need to make for today? Take some time and think it through. Does it only affect you, or does it affect others? Is it for your good? Will you benefit from it? Will others? So many things to consider.
Most of all, take some time to talk to God about that choice. Let Him lead you to what He would have you do. If you can't take Jesus with you on that choice, then perhaps it isn't the wise one. Something to think about.
Blessings!
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