“Many intelligent adults . . . are restrained in thoughts, actions and results. They never move further than the boundaries of their self-imposed limitation.”
~~ John Maxwell
It happens to us the moment we are born. Excited family members press their noses against the nursery window in the hospital and begin playing the game, “Who does he look like?” After much discussion, it is decided that the red-faced, wrinkly, toothless, bald baby looks like “Uncle Harry.” The labeling of the little child increases as his personality develops. That is a normal human reaction. We all do it. It becomes hurtful, however, when we start placing limitations on our child because he is a “C” student, a “fair” runner or a “plain” child. Unless parents exercise care, their children will grow up selling themselves short because of the “box” parents put them in, the expectations parents have placed upon them.
One “boxed in” child was Adam Clarke, who was born in the eighteenth century in Ireland. When Adam was a schoolboy, his father told the teacher that Adam wouldn’t do well.
The teacher said, “He looks bright.”
That statement changed his life – let him out of the box his father had put him in. He lived to be 72, and he became a great scholar, an English Methodist preacher, and an author of commentaries and a book called Christian Theology. When Adam Clarke preached, it was said, people listened.
What are a person’s capabilities? No one knows. Therefore, no one should be consciously instilling life-limiting thoughts into others. Thirty years ago, Johnny Weissmuller, also known as Tarzan to movie viewers, was called the greatest swimmer the world had ever known. Doctors and coaches around the world said, “Nobody will ever break Johnny Weissmuller’s records.” He held more than fifty of them! Do you know who is breaking Tarzan’s records today? Thirteen-year-old girls! The 1936 Olympic records were the qualifying standards for the 1972 Olympics.
For decades, track enthusiasts declared boldly that nobody would break the four-minute mile. For decades their prediction looked secure. Roger Bannister did not listen to such limiting assumptions. Result: He broke the “impossible” four-minute mile. Today, at least 336 men have accomplished this feat. They did not let themselves be limited by others’ expectations.
Remember: Others can stop you temporarily, but you are the only one who can do it permanently.
~~ John Maxwell - Your Attitude
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What you speak into your children, and even into yourself, DOES make a difference. I want to tell you a funny story. Now, I may have parts of it messed up in my memory, but here it is....
I have always, from the moment they were born, called my beautiful granddaughters “Princess”. I would tell them how precious they are, how special, how beautiful, and how loved. One day one of the granddaughters disobeyed her mother.
No, they didn’t call grandma.
My beautiful daughter-in-law told her daughter that her behavior was not that of a princess, and therefore, she must not be a princess. OH MY GOODNESS!!
My little Princess, about 5 years old at this time, began to sob as if her heart was going to break, and stomping her foot declared, “I am too a Princess!! My grandma says I am a Princess and I AM a Princess!!”
And of course when grandma heard the story, I confirmed again she was still a Princess….. and she still needed to obey her parents.
My granddaughters know that they can accomplish anything – if for no other reason, but that they are a Princess. They love it when I tell their dates they MUST open her car door because she is a Princess. And I love it when a brother will tell his sister’s date, “my sister is a Princess, and you had better treat her as one, or you will answer to me.”
How did you speak to your child before you left this morning? Did you leave with them thinking they are a delight to you, that you are proud of them? Thinking back with school out, many of you left them in bed. Just a suggestion, next time you leave them in bed as you head out the door to work, instead of leaving notes telling them what you expect to have done that day, tell them how proud you are of them and that you love them beyond measure. Build them up, and you will be amazed at what they can accomplish.
I believe in each of my children and grandchildren; I believe they can accomplish great things. But until they believe it too, and act on it, they will stay in the same place. Life is a choice - you can LIVE in it, or live with it. I choose to LIVE.
Blessings!
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