Showing posts with label troubled heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label troubled heart. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 25, 2022

My heart is troubled....

 Oh, the mercy and grace of God!  He hears every cry, sees every tear, and feels every sigh given.  I have done each of those many times over the years and each time, I know that God was there with me.  This morning my thoughts have returned to life and the lives of those I love so much.  My heart is troubled and sad.  I cry out to the Lord, for only He can intervene in lives and command the demons to flee and restore peace to the troubled minds and souls.  We humans are so fickle; we hold on to things we need to let go of. The sad part is that we keep our minds on them so much, they become bigger than what they are.  Could one even define anymore what their issues are?  

We all have our issues, no doubt.  Today my thoughts are on my youngest son and his last outburst at me.  I accused him of speaking out of both sides of his mouth - meaning, he will tell us one thing, and then he tells his wife another.  But he is allowing his mind to destroy him; his basic last words to me - before he hung up - was he was proud his children were following in his footsteps.  I'm not sure I understand that statement.  The fact that now two more of his children are expecting children?  They are the children having children.  They have not been taught responsibility, nor how to care for a baby.  I have been proud of his oldest son stepping up to care for his child - and yet - at the wedding reception, he 'disappeared' for a long while, leaving his daughter for his brother and sister to take care of.  When he returned, I commented to him that he needs to be taking care of his daughter.... and he responded 'I know'... and walked away.  He didn't even say goodbye to any of us when he left so I guess he is angry with me.  Come to think of it, I think his brother and his girlfriend were the only ones who did come say goodbye to us.  The granddaughter and her boyfriend - whom we barely got a word out of when we tried to have a conversation with him - sat off by themselves and didn't talk much to anyone.  She looks so sad - mainly because she was having to go home to her step-mother after the wedding.  And we have heard how that goes.... So my heart is troubled over the family and I am struggling to know even how to pray for them.  God knows my heart and He hears my words, so I know He can do whatever He wants.  He knows I love each one of them; I just don't know what to do when they all reject me and others who want to help them.

I had much to get done yesterday for work and God helped me through payroll and all that.  Lots of meetings to get scheduled and I see I already have more things to get done - I glanced at my messages last night - but didn't touch them.    Today I am donating blood at the Center so will be gone awhile for that.  I think that is all for today.  Tomorrow I see the oral surgeon to get my broken tooth removed.  Oh joy.  NOT looking forward to that - he may not do it tomorrow, it is mainly a consult, but guess it depends on what he thinks needs to be done.  Then I have a cleaning on Friday, I think.  I hate people working on my teeth.  

But today is a new day and I am going to start the day with a new outlook, and quit thinking (but not quit praying) about issues within the issues of life.  I want to be positive and look at life from a positive angle - for if one only faces the bad and negative stuff, they are miserable, indeed.

A good positive is my daughter bought me a box of White Castles yesterday!  We picked them up when we stopped by to get my makeup I had forgotten.  We both ate two when we got back home - although we had just eaten dinner!  Guess what I'm having for lunch today - and probably dinner too!  There are 20 (or were) in this box!  Think I will freeze some - or we will not be able to eat them all before we give up on them.  They are a nice treat once in awhile, for sure.

I started reading in the book of Luke this morning and read all the introductory words as well as the interpretation at the bottom of the study Bible.  I like to read the scriptures, and then read the interpretation at the bottom for it brings it more clear as to what was said.  Luke starts out with the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth - and being told they would have John the Baptist.  Then it goes into the description of Gabriel telling Mary she will be overshadowed with the Holy Spirit to have Jesus, the Son of God.  

Have you ever been visited by an angel?  My mother used to see angels.  I know I've had experience with angels, and have seen their shadows.  Mother told me that before my youngest brother died, she saw two angels help him up from the recliner, one on each side, and walked him down the hallway to the bathroom.  Then she laughed and said they must be women for they stayed outside the door while he went in.  And when he came out, they each took his arm and walked him back to the recliner.  She said that she knew then that Buddy would be dying soon.  And it wasn't long after that he got up from the recliner and said his head hurt so bad, and he collapsed, never to regain consciousness from the burst brain aneurysm.  

Mother also told the story of her mother, my Granny, who as my real dad was praying over the meal at her table, that she looked up and saw Jesus standing behind my younger brother, whom I call 'Lil' Mike'.  Granny said she knew he'd be a preacher one day.  Ah, but he fought that thought and walked away from anything religious.   

My thoughts seem to be all over the place this morning - must be the White Castles I ate last night.  It is about time I get up and get dressed.... and get ready to start work this morning.  

Matthew 11:28 (NIV)  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Sometimes life gets hard, but one thing I do know, I can go to Jesus and He will lift the burdens of my heart and bring peace.  I can trust Him.  Always.  And you can too. Lean into Jesus, and give Him the things that trouble your heart, soul and mind, and let Him take care of each one.

Blessings!