At least it is started....

 The SIL and daughter came over yesterday and started the painting on the courtyard.  They ran out of paint and was planning on picking more up today.... but they got 'the call' to head to another state for the delivery of a new grandchild.  And that's ok.  It will get finished soon.  In the meantime, I have time to look for an indoor/outdoor carpet I'm thinking of putting under the patio furniture.  Make it look a little nicer.  Will see.  I'm thinking about colors.  I know the furniture picked up was gray, although I had thought what we looked at was beige.  Which is why I requested the beige umbrella.  So we have a beige umbrella and gray furniture.  Still pondering whether to return the umbrella and get a blue (which is the only other color they had) which doesn't match the green on the house.  I may just keep what we have for now and I may move the umbrella to the back patio and get a couple chairs put out there... I don't know what I'll do at this point.  Trying to get rid of clutter and I buy more?  What's up with that?

Yesterday was a very busy day at work and I got the majority of things completed but had to leave a couple meetings to schedule today because I just couldn't find the time on the calendars.  Today is a new day and I'll be looking again.  I actually have decided to work as long as I can mentally manage it.  Why?  Because it has dawned on me that if I'm working, I have more money to tithe.  I love giving to God and helping others in need.  If I'm not working, a lot of that will come to a halt, and my tithing would be a lot less.  God will always provide for us, of that I'm not worried.  We've gotten by on a lot less than I make now. But I also want to be watchful on what I spend.  This furniture took a big chunk (in my opinion) and I need to be watchful and not overdo it.  

Besides, Christmas will be here before we know it, right?  LOL  I've already gotten a start, which is a good thing.  But I am determined to make it smaller.  No one needs anything anyway.  Which is why I always have to search everywhere to find something.  I am always blessed by what I receive - many times it has been much more than I could have ever expected!  (I'm still loving my 'biscuits and gravy' dish towels I got from son and wife last year.  Always reminds me of my mama.)  I suppose I ought to start dropping comments in here on occasion of things I'd 'like' to have.  Or should I make everyone guess as I have to? 

My Virta coach contacted me yesterday and asked how he could help me with this process of trying to lose weight and get my numbers steady.  I responded back to him that the glucose isn't a problem for me; I'm not diabetic.  But Virta says to be in 'nutritional ketosis' my ketones need to be at .5 minimum.  The only way I can get to ,5, I have discovered, is to fast all day.  The ketones measure the carbs in your body, I think. Not sure on that.  But if I eat 1 egg and sprinkle cheese on it and eat it early, and don't eat anything the rest of the day, and take my ketone 'test' between 3-4PM, I can sometimes get the results at .5.  But if I eat lunch or nibble on anything - even my pork rinds - it drops to .1 or 2.  I finally told Kaleb (my coach) that I was going to give Virta one more month.  I need to eat more carbs because I work out and many times with drastically reducing my carbs and trying to work out, I feel weak.  So I need to eat carbs (just don't overdo).  Kaleb responded and agreed.  He suggested bumping my carbs from 30 to 50 a day (does he really think I have been counting carbs? I did in the beginning, but haven't in ages - why? - cause I'm not even eating most days!!)  and suggested we take a call to discuss how I can eat healthy carbs and build my energy.  I haven't responded yet, but will this morning.  Interestingly, after a very tough leg workout last night, and cause I hadn't eaten since a shake for breakfast, we stopped at Sardella's on the way home and yes, I ate 3 pieces of Sardella's supreme pizza and enjoyed every bite!!  And my scales dropped .7 from yesterday.  I'm not watching the weight loss.  I have inches dropping and that is more important - muscles weigh more and I'm happy with muscles rather than fat hanging on me.  One day at a time.  It is the little things that I choose to do that will keep me here long enough to perhaps enjoy even great-great grandchildren.  

Job 19:25-27 (NKJV):  For I know that my Redeemer lives,  And He shall stand at last on the earth; And after my skin is destroyed, this I know, That in my flesh I shall see God, Whom I shall see for myself, And my eyes shall behold, and not another. How my [g]heart yearns within me!

I love this verse from Job 19.  For I know that my Redeemer lives.  There is a song by Nicole Mullins that I want played at my funeral.  I have her CD around here somewhere; I need to find it.  She sings this song and it is amazing.  I know that my Redeemer lives.  He lives all around me.  He lives within me.  He is my Guide. He is my strength. (You should hear the many, many times that I will, during a tough exercise, comment "Lord, please help me complete this rep!!".  I do, many, many times!  But in all things, He is always there for me and He always is available to me.  I love that about our God.  He never leaves us nor forsakes us.  

Even though you may not believe in Him, He loves you.  He cares for you. He provides for you.  You may think that you are doing the providing for yourself, but it isn't you.  It's not even about you.  It's our God answering prayers spoken before you were born, that He would take care of you.  Yes, bad things happen to good people.  We don't always get our way.  Sometimes God says 'Wait' and we jump ahead and do things our way.  (Remember Abraham, Sarah and Hagar?)  We may eventually get what we wanted even though we did things out of sync, but our choices affect those we love the most.  It is always better to wait on God's timing and let Him bring things together.

I am talking from experience.  There are many stories I will never tell.  Many words that don't need to be brought into the light.  I have entrusted the past into God's hands and have asked Him to help me through the past mistakes when I made my own choices, and help me make amends, and help me draw closer to Him.

There is no greater feeling that knowing you are in our Father's arms.  Safe and secure. I will always choose to lean into Him, to allow Him to guide me and direct my path.  Yes, I still make mistakes.  I don't always pray about choices I make.  But when I do, and allow Him to take the lead, I know that I am safe.

When was the last time you asked God for help through a tough decision?  I am troubled about something but I am putting it in God's hands to handle.  All I can say is sometimes there are too many 'hands' in the pot.  No, not telling you what is troubling me. Enough of that.

Gotta go - about time to get on the work computer!  Do something amazing today - ask God to help you get through it and make the right choices!

Blessings!

what will today bring

 My last day of 'vacation'.  Kind of hanging in limbo here.  I needed this week off work.  I don't want to go back to work.  Of course, by Monday, I may be ready.  

Yesterday was somewhat quiet.  Hubby fussed at me enough about going shopping - that I went shopping. The 'problem' is, there is nothing I need nor want.  But he did need duct tape so I did purchase that for him.  I walked around home depot for awhile and looked at patio sets.  Found one I have interest in.  Not the table and chairs with an umbrella type, but a 'conversation type' - where there are seats and a table. And I'd like to get one of the huge umbrellas that hang out from the side versus in the middle of the table. But, until the courtyard gets painted and the flowers in, no place to put it. I wonder if my daughter has room in her backyard to store it until it is completed.  I'll have to ask.

Anyway - from Home Depot I stopped at Kohls; walked around, saw nothing I wanted or needed, and left there. Went to Sam's Club and bought some things I had on my list (and yes, I remembered to look at the list while I was there).  Then came home.  Hubby left for a HOA meeting, I worked on a diamond art project, and when he got back home we met up with our granddaughter and her family for really, really good ice cream.  I admit it; I was a piggie.  I got something called Turtle Turtle.  You know I love the pecan turtles.  And it was so good.  Two scoops of ice cream, drizzled with the chocolate and caramel syrups, and pecan pieces, and whipped cream and a cherry on top.  Yeah... so good.  Fun time enjoying the great-granddaughter for a bit too.  Sometimes there are a few weeks in between times of seeing her and she just grows so fast.  

Our 'new' neighbors have turned out to be interesting.  They haven't done anything to us - but they seem to be quite 'demanding' to the HOA.  The HOA manager said they are the type of people who should have their own home, not live in a condo.  Everyone - including me - complains about the landscaping.  It really is bad.  I've been complaining about it since we moved in.  I think the landscapers they have - though cheap - you get what you pay for.  I think they are finally looking at another company.  What brought up my comments about our new neighbors?  He was out in front talking to the trash pickup and the guy was telling him he couldn't take some things.  I don't know what they have put out but guess they will need to find another way to get rid of it.  They have made the house on the inside absolutely beautiful with all the remodeling and opening it up.  And they have completely redone their courtyard.  And now have approval to add pavers to the back area behind their house that is 'theirs'.  They have the money and are really fixing the place up.  Me.... I want to move.  I want my own place.  Sigh.

Hubby has gone to his bible study this morning so I have a couple hours alone.  And I'm not on the work computer.  Been going through some things here on mine.  Remember when I commented back in January that someone had been trying to use my account?  I had changed my password and thought that would take care of it.  Well, I signed on - or tried to - my account yesterday and it's locked.  Still is today. I went to account help and need to send a copy of my drivers license to ensure I am who I say I am.  Which is weird, really.  But I've tried to make a copy and send to my email and it won't go through. Not sure what the problem is.  I may just call Southwest and see if I can do it online.  Not that we are going anywhere, but I wanted to check the cost on some flights.  I did take a photo of the person's email who had been trying to use my account back last January and will send that to Southwest as well.  I know they haven't been able to use my account as it is hooked into my SW credit card and I watch my cards like a hawk and nothing has been charged on it.  I keep them at zero as much as possible so I know when something is off.   I may just go ahead and close that account altogether.  I don't need the credit card.  I was doing it for points - and those points got spent a year or so ago so I think I'll just close it out.  Oh wait - I do have a monthly charge that hits against it for a warranty. Hmmm I may need to change that first before I cancel it.

I mentioned yesterday to hubby about the patio set I'm interested in.  I went online at Lowes yesterday and saw they had a lot more sets than Home Depot does.  And I found the set I liked for about $200 less.  AND the umbrella I want for $100 less.  Yeah, I think we may go to Lowes to get the patio set. They are on sale so need to see if the SIL can pick them up and store them for us until the patio gets done.  We don't need anything big as we rarely go out there.  But it would be nice to have something when it is cool out.  Hubby has it in his head that WE need to go look at patio sets this afternoon.  So much for me having a day of my own.  

Philippians 4:10-12 (NKJV):  10 But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your[a] care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to [b]be abased, and I know how to [c]abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

In all things I am content.  There is nothing I need.  I do not have a longing for anything material. Not even a new patio set.  But maybe I do, at that... I'm longing for our own independent home.  Hubby doesn't want the responsibility, and I get it.  He never did manual labor; he doesn't get 'into that' - unless I am getting into it and then he... well, not putting him down. I know other men who do not do manual labor.  I enjoy mowing the grass.  I enjoy planting flowers.  I enjoy being outside and doing things - even when it's hot.  (be realistic - too hot? stay inside until cooler!)  This place has never been mine, although I have had hopes it being somewhat mine. Yes, I have things on the wall and my little area.  But try to move anything?  Heaven help me!  So I shall be content and behave. Or try to. Sigh.

And with that - I'm going to get off here.  I'm not even dressed yet and it's after 8AM!  I have about an hour before hubby gets home.  Maybe another cup of coffee and work on my diamond art in the quiet of the morning.

So much I want to do.  So much I can't. I am so weary of holding it in. Can I just run away......

Blessings!