well, today is not the first day of fall, but I actually saw a red leaf yesterday laying on the ground next to the house. How did that happen here in sunny Phoenix? The winds must have brought it down from up north. Which reminds me, hubby is still asking to go up north for a weekend. Maybe I can convince him to wait until the leaves change up there. I'd rather head south, just saying.... I can get more excited about that. Maybe I can get him to compromise. One weekend north, one weekend south. Something to think about.
I finished the book Atomic Habits last night and I must admit I felt it was very good. I do want to change some things in my life, and it gave me ideas on how to do that. I asked hubby if he wanted to read it next but he complained he already had a stack of books he wanted to read. So - who's up for reading it next? I'm curious what my boss will think of it as I gave her a copy for her birthday. Which is today, in fact, and I need to send her a birthday text. :-) I do love my boss!
I am to give my testimony at our Bible study group this Monday night. I've typed out a few pages (yes, pages) of my life and now am working on deleting some things and adding others. Some things I'd just as soon forget and move on, but they are still part of my life and has shaped me into who I am. Our past does that. Whether it was good or bad, we carry those traits with us all our lives.
With that being said, I disagree with those who say "I can't change; that is just the way I am." They are wrong. They don't WANT to change. True, their childhood may have been rough, I get that. So was mine. I get they may have felt worthless and stupid. I get that too. But the difference is, from my background to theirs, I CHOOSE to leave that behind me and allow Jesus to transform me into His image. Yeah, I fail on that sometimes, but He always picks me up, forgives me, and sets my feet back on His firm foundation. I don't fall back on how I was treated growing up. I don't whine about what people said. I don't let myself feel worthless. Why? Because I have great value.
Proverbs 22:1 (NKJV): "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, Loving favor than silver and gold."
I'm sorry if you feel your childhood was bad. I can't change your past, any more than you can change mine. I don't know why, but God allows things to help us grow and to shape us into becoming better than we were. It's how we respond to those things in our past that makes us who we are. And, I'll use myself as an example.
I've mentioned before that I was abused growing up. I wasn't taught to have any respect for myself, I wasn't taught that I had any value. During the two years between marriages, I continued down that path. I had been rejected and that just compounded what my growing up years had shown me. I lived life thinking about me and putting myself first. I was so wrong.
Once I remarried and came out here and started attending this specific church, I found a personal relationship with Jesus. For the first time in my life I felt I had value. I was a 'pearl of great worth' to Jesus. And He loved me for me. Not for who I was in the past, nor did I have to change to make Him love me. He loved me just as I was. He actually loved me when I lived at home. Why He allowed all that happened to happen, I do not know. It wasn't my fault. But I know that He took what happened and shaped me, and used it for His glory.
I'm still not perfect, by any means. But loving Jesus and knowing that He loves me, no matter what I do, makes a big difference in ones' life. I know He has forgiven my 'single life' and has taken my shame and washed me white as snow. Even now, today, I seek Him more and more. I ask for better understanding of His Word, I seek a closer walk with Him. I desire to be completely surrendered to whatever He chooses for me - even when I don't want to do it. His ways are always better. I choose Jesus. Your choices in life define who you are.
Today I get to join a group of women for Needles of Hope, our crochet/knitting group. I only have a couple blankets to take this month to donate. I love these women and we get to share our lives with each other. I feel God brought them into my life because I need friends I can fellowship with. Once a month is good.
My neighbor, Ms. Amy, called me yesterday and asked that I come pick her up today and bring her to her home so that she can get some more clothes. She's been in the assisted living now a couple months and is tired of wearing the same thing. She WAS going to move to Florida but it was postponed a month ago until the first of the year. Good thing. Her daughter's place in Ft. Meyers - a two story condo, the bottom was flooded halfway up (it is on the beach) so they are going to Ohio where they have another home while this one is being repaired. Her other daughters who live in Melbourne in a house had minor damage, but did lose one of their boats. They also live near the beach. Obviously, my neighbor is glad she hadn't moved to the assisted living there yet. I think I'd think twice about it now even though she is here alone without any family. Which is why I get the phone call to do things for her. And I don't mind. Happy to help where I can.
And with that, I better finish up and get dressed. I love I don't really have to watch the clock on Saturdays. Needles of Hope is 9-12PM and come and go - or come and stay. I have even missed some. But I do enjoy getting with these women and sharing life with them. Every woman needs an opportunity to be with others to just 'play'. I need to extend the invite to my DIL again.... she is always so busy though. My daughter comes occasionally, but not today. Last month there was just three of us and we had an awesome conversation. My friend who 'heads up' our group shared what they were doing in the Bible study she teaches and I was inspired and wishing I was in her group!
Getting to know Jesus more is our goal of life. What is yours?
Blessings!
