Since our Bible study group finished it 10 week study on Rooted, along with the church, there was a 'celebration' last night at the main church. They had catered BBQ pork and chicken, potato salad, mac & cheese, and beans. Oh, and cookies. Why is it those cookies that are so big and flat taste like they are all sugar? But that didn't stop me from eating an oatmeal raisin one. It should have. I didn't enjoy it, but heaven forbid I would stop eating it! Ever had those times - where you had a craving for something and when you got it you didn't really enjoy eating it, but just kept going until it was gone? No? Well, I guess I'm unique then. It was a nice time and there were 14 people baptized and I think they were all from the main church. We ate outside in a covered area and it wasn't too chilly. Afterwards we went inside the church where they had everything else. (and, btw, MY BBQ is much better than what was served. Just saying. Not that I am such a great cook, but I do make good food - even if it is my own opinion.)
Today I have several things in my mind that I want to get completed. I'm hoping to complete most of them. Let's see, if I list some things I want to do, perhaps I will then accomplish most? Maybe. 1) I want to get the youngest's children and (my) great-grandchildren's Christmas gifts wrapped and boxed up. I understand he is heading up today to get the great-granddaughter to bring her back here for Thanksgiving. Next weekend he is taking her back up and will take Christmas gifts up with him for the others. I want to have mine ready to go. The boys were fairly easy - they asked for clothes. Toys for the babies. Anyway, want to get those wrapped and packed in a box to be ready to be taken up next weekend. Plus I need to clear the things off the big dining room table. 2) My 'box stack' is getting too big and I need to tear down some boxes and get them ready for the recycle pickup which is next Wednesday. Getting those broke down in the garage will make hubby very happy. (and you know I have lots more boxes on their way to my house!) 3) Straighten up this room - I have gifts everywhere in here - as the boxes come in I'm unpacking and I need to sort out by individuals again and see what is left for me to take care of. I'm 'stuck' on a few 'boys' - girls are so easy, except for two. They are adults and have their own families, so it is harder to buy for them. Like me, in most cases, if they want something, they get it. But they are ever so gracious when they get something they don't need. No wonder I love those girls so much!
John 13:35 (NKJV): "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
This is one of many verses in the Bible that have been weighing on me the past few months. I claim to be one of Christ's followers, a disciple, if you will. Yet, there are some people that are so difficult to love, for many reasons. For the past few years I've chosen to step back away from one specific person and God has laid it on my heart that although I have never refused to allow her in my home, I've 'not really' shown her love, especially the past couple of years. I don't like the way she treats people, don't care for her personality, don't trust her, and get so tired of all her selfies. She definitely needs a life. But regardless of my opinion of her, I am to love her. Jesus says so. Most things will not change as 'it is the way it is'.... but when I do see her, I need to be more friendly, more loving. It will be a hurdle to get over, I am sure. It doesn't mean we will be 'best friends' - but I am to be respectful and kind and loving, just as I want others to be to me.
I guess perhaps I've just been convicted of this because I see how others treat her - and I wonder if they feed off of my own personal feelings..... I try not to say too much; I try hard not to be rude or unkind. I try not to treat (much) differently than others when I'm with them.... but sometimes, attitudes get in the way. Feelings get in the way. Conceptions of situations get in the way. Even if they are directed at me. I only know MY side of what I see or hear or understand.
How many times have we heard (or have said) "I am this way because of how I was raised." or "I can't change now, it's too late." or how about "I don't want to change."
And yet, we know that we CAN change, if we CHOOSE to. God didn't make us to be mean, to be hateful, to treat people shamefully - when He teaches us to love others. It is true, some things are hard to let go of, some parts of our past hang on, I get that. But we are called to be Christ-like, and I'm sure that He didn't treat people the way we sometimes treat others. Even unintentionally. I know I have been deeply hurt by those very close to me - and they don't even realize it because I don't share it. Sometimes they have done it intentionally. Others put up walls to keep me out - and that hurts. All I can do is step back and allow God to work in every situation. And He does.
He changes me. He makes me more like Him. He allows me to feel what He feels when His children (even if they don't know Him) are treated unfairly. Even when things (in our minds) are justified (and trust me, some of these situations ARE justified!) we are called to love them as we want to be loved.
Oh my.... I only meant to say that God is working on me to change.... but perhaps you need to hear this too. Are we the best person we can be for our spouses; our children and grandchildren? Are they proud of where they come from or do they keep far from it? Our past does label us in our own minds; we were mistreated; we don't like situations that happened in the past; but we are still called to love, because Jesus loves us.
I'm going to be around this one specific person at least three-four times over the next two holidays. I know I will need Jesus' help to let go of what troubles me about this person and love them. I may need to pray before I run in to them every time.... and in time, He will help me get over the hurdle.
It's not just 'forgive and forget'.... but to forgive and love. Some things we can't forget, and that's ok... but we need to quit letting them rule our life as I have done.
Lord, Help!!
Blessings!
