Remember when I mentioned that I love to read the stories that appear on Facebook (that I try to stay off of) - usually about military women or other stories similar to that? They seem to all have a main theme going through these stories. In my mind, I relate somewhat to these stories, and I think that is why I'm drawn to read one after another - although I don't go in to comments and finish reading them. As you know, if you have read here for awhile, I have a childhood that I don't remember a lot about; it's been blocked in my mind. I was told I was too stupid to go to college. I was only meant to get married, have kids, be a wife and mother - and hold a low-paying job to help out. I was never encouraged. I was never taught how to be a valued person. When I got my ministerial license, I did not get any 'congratulations, I'm proud of you' from my mother (or most of my siblings either). The only time I can remember my mother saying "I'm proud of you" was when I had accepted being 'secretary of the state church assembly'. THAT brought out congratulations. No accomplishment I did was ever noted nor celebrated. That was my life. Birthdays came and went and I may have gotten a present. The joke is that at age 7 I invited my classmates over for a birthday party. Mother had to ask a couple people to come over to manage it because she had to work. She didn't arrange the party; I did. I imagine I got into trouble for that!
But where I am going with this, is that in thinking about why I am drawn to these stories on Facebook - the woman is always put down by her family. She is put down by her peers, made fun of, thought she had no sense in being in the military - only for them to find out that she was way more qualified than they were! She was given a special code - and a tattoo - and when her sleeve or shirt 'accidentally' gets pulled back, the tattoo is seen and someone there sees it and steps up to defend her.
If you think about it, really think about it, that is what Jesus does for me. And for you. He sees how people treat others, and He stands up for me, for you. He doesn't let them tear us down; He gives us honor and respect. He loves us. It doesn't matter what we have done in the past, when we run to Him, He forgives us and allows us to sit at His feet and worship.
All that hit home last night when I got a copy of my step-sister's obituary from my little sister. Definitely not what I expected. And I realize that I have never met her children. I haven't seen them in 40 years. But that didn't matter to us when my sister, Jackie, passed away. In her obit we listed all the 'step' and their spouses. In this obit, they listed their children, grandchildren, etc. Then they listed her twin sister and her brother. Then they listed my little sister as another sister. Not 'step-sister', but sister. My two brothers, nor I, were listed at all. It is as though we never existed. You can imagine the thoughts that went through my mind. 1) I'm glad I decided not to go back for the funeral (yes, I had looked up airfare but decided against spending it). 2) I am sending a sympathy card to the husband and family. I had told my little sister I would go in with her on flowers - although they wrote 'in lieu of flowers send to Lymphoma Foundation. Which I will do if we don't send flowers. I don't want to send flowers in all honesty. I don't want to point out to them that they 'missed' us. But at least the Lymphoma Foundation is tax deductible. I was just shocked when we were not listed even as step, and my little sister was listed as a sister. But then, she has always had a close relationship with that side of the family as she was the baby. But the one thing that hurts the most - it's not about me or my brothers being left off. They left our mom off. The obit listed her dad and her mom only. Our mom was the one who raised her. And she didn't even mention her in the obit. That is what is sad. Ok - enough of that rambling - let's move on.
I had to do some praying last night about holding on to 'offense'. Think I will read the book 'The Bait of Satan' again by John Bevere. It talks about how 'offense' at others can destroy your life, if you let it. I don't want to be that person. I want to 'get over it' and move on. Just like I've had to get over the other twin demanding any inheritance from mother be divided among 'their side' of the family only because they didn't get anything when their dad died. It all went to Mother. UGH. Siblings! Even Step-siblings can be greedy. Offenses should not be held on to - they need to be let go of so that we can be set free from them. The devil will take those offenses and drill holes within us in our hearts and minds to keep us in turmoil. LET THEM GO. Do not harbor offenses at anyone. And I'm preaching to myself as well.
My daughter and son-in-law made it to Clovis last night. Our grandson and wife met them in Albuquerque and our grandson drove the truck the rest of the way with our son in law, and our daughter rode with the GDIL and child. I'm glad they met up; that wasn't in the original plan - but glad they did to relieve some of the driving. I'm sure it was tense with driving a large truck and pulling a trailer as well. So they are now there and life goes on.
I need to really focus on cleaning up this room now. When they come back, if they don't stay at a hotel, they will stay here as the granddaughter doesn't have an extra bed. Incentive for cleaning up this room, I'm thinking, right? I have so much 'stuff'! My daughter didn't think she had that much until they had to clear everything out - it adds up quickly. So.Much.Stuff. here - even just in this room!
I John 3:11 (NIV): For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.
Sometimes it is hard to love others when they hurt you or do you wrong, isn't it? We need to 'get over it' and just love them anyway - who knows - perhaps the 'for they don't know what they do' applies here. How many times have we done things (that we knew we shouldn't and did anyway) or did that we didn't realize that we shouldn't have done? Forgive them anyway. Just as we ask Jesus to forgive us all our sins, we need to forgive offenses as well.
There is nothing anyone can say or do to us that can destroy us. Reputations maybe. Hurtful words and things, perhaps. They are just being used by Satan to tempt you, to make you angry. But even in our anger, our pain, we are not to sin. Let's give it all to Jesus, who sees all, and knows all, and He will restore what the enemy has tried to take away.
Love the ones that are hard to love. We don't understand what they are going through. We don't want to, as a rule. We put our selves and our emotions first. But we shouldn't. Let it go. Life is too short to hold grudges - or offenses. Give it all to Jesus and let Him handle it.
Something to think about in all my ramblings this morning - we are always 'more than' - never 'less than'. Conquerors, that's what we are. God is on our side.
Blessings!
