Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 5, 2022

I feel bad, but should I be blamed?

 Oh how life and how people live can involve so many people!  If you are reading this, you are probably thinking about people you know that constantly have drama going on in their lives.  I actually got it confused yesterday somewhat, I think.  I had seen a post on facebook that a former DIL of my youngest son had put on.  It was a poem, and it spoke of depression and suicide.  She had a new baby a few weeks ago, and it seems like the father is already with someone else (what is it about this generation that is constantly sleeping around??).  The poem concerned me on many levels.  She has mental problems.  She had my great granddaughter, who is now two, and has a new son, just a few weeks old.  She is alone.  No job. No money. No support - financially or otherwise.  And she is talking about suicide.  I copied and sent it to my son and his response?  Something about it is always drama with her.  And that's where I got confused.  I thought he was talking about his wife.  It wasn't until I reread later what I had written that I realized I had mixed the people up.  You may laugh as you read this, cause you would understand exactly what I am saying.  Some people live in constant drama and actually feed off it.  Anyway..... That isn't what I was thinking about when I wrote this title.

Well, I just wrote a very very long paragraph about it... but you don't need all that.  Let's see if I can summarize it.   I 'encouraged' (ok, I pushed on it) my little sister to check on our older sister, who had fallen on Saturday and broken her left hand.  I knew she had gotten a call  as well and ignored it.  Well, she FINALLY went to check on the older sister yesterday and took her to the ER.  AT 5PM their time.  Why would anyone go that late to the ER unless it was an emergency.  If she had gone early yesterday morning as I suggested to her, (no, she had nothing to do yesterday to prevent it - she just didn't want to do it) she would not have gotten back home at 11PM last night.  The older sister had broken her left hand, and a cast was put on it.  I wanted someone to go check because last year she fell and no one checked on her.  She had broken her right hand then and no one cared.  It is now crippled and she can barely use it.  I didn't want that to happen to her left hand too.  The little sister came down with a migraine while sitting in the ER.  We text'd frequently throughout most of the time - until she just stopped.  I think she was getting angry with me (and I will hear about it in the next few days, I'm sure) for asking her to go.  I also got reminded of how much she did for Mother before she died.  Now THAT is another long story.  (she thinks she did it all, but I know for a fact the other three plus the SIL took care of mother too)  So we have a martyr who spent the day in the ER with a sister she doesn't like.  Sorry, that just came out.  Anyway - long story short, after 7-8 hours in the ER, the older sister got a cast on her left hand, the younger sister stayed all day and got her back home.  She won't do it again, she says.  She will not take care of our sister.   And I find that sad.  Not saying she has to do everything for her.  But if someone - regardless of who they are- are in need, are we not to offer to help?  That part breaks my heart.  How can a sister be so cold and so hard?  It doesn't matter whether they like them or not, it is still blood.   I reckon I better hush on this one. I'm not there, I can't help.  I call, and I have had food sent to the older sister when I think she doesn't have any.  I do what I can, long distance.  I still remember that if I had not persisted a few years ago, when I had called several times with no answer, and finally got the younger brother to check on her, the older sister was nearly dead, laying naked on the floor for 5 days after falling getting out of the shower and passing out.  She had no strength to get up.  Yes, I will push on someone to check on her when I hear something has happened or I don't get an answer after several calls.  And yet, my younger sister's comment to me was "if we run to check on her everytime she calls, she will expect it".  It makes me sad.  I never want to have regrets that I didn't check on someone and something happened.  But it's my fault they spent the entire day in the hospital ER.  sigh.

I am reminded of the scripture in Matthew 5:38-42 (NIV):  "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.  But I tell you, do not resist an evil person.  If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."

And I am reminded of 'do unto others as you want them to do to you'.  I guess from the above scripture I think of the 'if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles' scripture to mean that if someone needs help, do all you can to help them.  Ok - I'm dealing with mixed emotions this morning.... feeling bad my little sister sat in the ER all day yesterday and yet, glad that she took care of our older sister who cannot take care of herself.  When I had commented about no response to my (or her) phone calls (before she went to check on her), that what if she had fallen again, or had hurt herself really bad, or even died... my younger sister's response disappointed me.  Ok - got to stop thinking about this.  It's done and over. Mission accomplished.  Older sister is taken care of.  Changing subject.

Enjoying my coffee this morning.  For some reason, yesterday it really tasted good.  In fact, it was so good I asked hubby if he did something different. Nope, he had just popped in a k-cup that I had gotten from my son.  In fact, I've had one every day since I got the box.  (as has he).  But some days it just tastes better.  Yesterday was one of them - and today is another.  I enjoy a good cup of coffee.  Thanks, son. :-)

Have a lot to get done for work again today.  I noticed last night I already have 20 messages and I did not go online to check what they were.  Some will be meetings to schedule, I'm sure.  Keeps me out of trouble, right?  Obviously not.

I asked my little sister yesterday if she had decided when she was going to come out for a visit.... and she said no.  It will be interesting if she follows through on what she said she was going to do.  Talk about drama.   I am not expecting her to call me today... I think she is upset with me.  I'll leave her alone.... may try calling her after work, or texting to see if her migraine went away.  After all, it's my fault she sat all day at the ER with the older sister.  And it's my fault that she got a migraine because she sat there all day.  And it's my fault she may have picked up germs to bring home to her hubby.   Oh well.  I have broad shoulders, right?

Today.  Tuesday.  April 5th.  Today is going to be a great day!  I am going to look at the sunshine outside; I'm going to think positive thoughts; I'm going to let the Lord love on me; I'm going to love on others.  I'm going to be .....whatever He wants me to be.  That is my goal for today.  Not nitpicking, not bellyaching, not blaming.

I'm declaring today to be a good day - for me - and for you.  It's beautiful outside in the mornings - take a moment and just step outside and look at the beauty around you.  Feel the slight coolness of the air (make sure it is morning you go out!) and close your eyes.  Let the stillness of the morning fill you.   And just 'be' in the moment.  Take a chair and sit outside just for 5 minutes.  And just be quiet and enjoy the beauty of the day.

And be blessed.